Villain Hiring: Help! Author Wants Me Dead-Chapter 145: A Techno Fool

"...I’ve said something dumb again, haven’t I?" The moment the words left my mouth, the silence was deafening.

And then, everyone turned to stare at me.

Like, everyone.

Not one or two folks.

Not a casual glance.

I mean full-blown, soul-piercing stares from all sides like I’d just announced I thought that the moon was fake or something.

Even Pixie, the soft-spoken snowy-haired fairy of death, blinked at me like I’d grown gills.

Lucas’s face was stone-cold, as usual but his eye twitched.

I saw it. The corner of his lips pulled up like his body was fighting between laughing and drop-kicking me.

And then, from the very back of the bench row, Dario stood up with the drama of a man about to deliver Shakespeare in the park.

The guy had a pretty lean and athletic body, his electric blue hair shining like someone had dumped a bucket of glitter onto his head. His hazel eyes sparkled the same way mine did, because of course, the Romero genes decided to be all about eye aesthetics.

"Noah..." he said, placing a hand on his chest like he was emotionally wounded. "Did you seriously think we’ve been in there for two whole days?"

I frowned. "Uh. Yeah? My legs feel like I ran ten marathons, Dario.

My hair’s probably grown a centimetre in there. That felt real."

Ciel burst out laughing while even the usually ice-cold Isla had to cover her mouth to keep from spitting water.

Dario just stared at me in disbelief before dramatically dragging his hand down his face. "Noah," he said again, slowly, like he was talking to a toddler chewing on crayons, his tone annoying me a little.

"Virtual hours. Are. Not. Real hours."

I squinted. "Come again?"

"One full day inside the simulation is one real-life hour. We’ve only been in there for two real hours."

I opened my mouth.

Closed it.

Opened it again.

"...So all that agony? The crying, the running, the dying—was just two hours of nap time?"

"Yes." Dario threw his arms up like he was surrendering to the gods. "And you’re the only one who didn’t know this.

Bro, do you not read the briefings?

The manual?

The giant flashing tutorial that literally said, ’Time Ratio: 24:1’ before we entered?"

I looked around.

Everyone nodded.

Every.

Single.

One of them.

"Oh come on!" I groaned, grabbing my head, realising that I may have skipped something like that in a hurry. "I thought that was, like, a random ping or something! I just clicked ’continue’ like they do in fantasy novels I’ve read!"

Lina leaned toward Vayu and whispered loudly, "He thought the loading screen was a suggestion."

Pixie, bless her sweet, quiet soul, tried to smile politely.

But even she was covering her mouth with both hands to keep from laughing iut loud.

"I thought the blinking ’read this first’ was optional!" I defended, arms flailing. "Who actually reads those?!

I thought it was going to be one of those ’click here to accept cookies’ things!"

Dario face-planted onto the bench, laughing so hard he wheezed. "Bro, you’re not even dumb. You’re like, ancient-dad-asks-how-to-plug-in-a-mouse level dumb."

Aurelia was giggling behind her scarf. "You didn’t even ask what virtual hours were?"

"I thought it just meant the hours felt virtual!"

"THAT DOESN’T EVEN MEAN ANYTHING!" Maxin yelled from behind, his body trembling.

Dario laughed. "Welcome to future tech, my man."

I almost puked, unable to handle the first hand embarrassment I had just served my own self on a platter.

God, I wanted to crawl into one of those pods and disappear again.

Around us, the VR chamber buzzed with faint blue lights.

Rows of glass pods stood like futuristic coffins, each open now with steam still hissing out from a few.

Cold black tiles spread across the floor, spotless and shiny.

Along the far wall, the benches were arranged in lines, long enough for all of us to sit down and take a breather after coming out of the simulation.

The ceiling above us glowed with that soft, artificial daylight that never quite felt natural, I remember people calling it a bulb.

Everyone had taken a seat by now. Some still stretching. Some drinking water. Others are just staring into the space.

I turned my head just in time to catch Grandpa Venus dragging his palm down his face, hard—

He looked like a man who had just been told his grandkids were all idiots.

Again.

"Stars above," he muttered to himself. "I raised children, not brainless cattle."

"Ouch." I muttered, feeling targeted.

He turned to face us, sweeping his black-dyed hair back.

Yep.

The guy had started coloring both his hair and beard now. I’d overheard some old men in the House talking about how Venus wanted to ’match Sylvie’s youthful energy’ ever since she regained her vitality.

Even his robes were more fitted than before—like he was trying to out-age-reverse time itself.

Still, those sharp hazel eyes didn’t miss a single thing.

"Lucas. Pixie. Come with me," he said, his voice clear and loud.

Lucas stood immediately.

With his black hair perfectly in place and that usual quiet composure, he looked like someone straight out of a royal painting.

His violet eyes scanned the room once before he followed Grandpa without a word, hands tucked into the pockets of his coat.

Pixie stood up next.

She looked almost like a ghost in motion—her long white hair flowed all the way down her back like a sheet of silk, swaying with every step.

Those black eyes of hers were calm as ever. No panic.

No hesitation.

Just a soft nod as she followed behind Lucas, her footsteps light.

I watched the three of them walk across the room and exit through the side door that led deeper into the House’s private quarters.

They looked like a teacher and his two star students.

And we?

We were the class clowns left behind.

"Man..." Kael muttered from beside me. "Didn’t expect Pixie to be the other top scorer."

"Same," Lina sighed, leaning back. "She’s just so...ordinary, without having a single power or skill to herself."

Rin, a cousin of mine from Team D snickered, pointing at the family treasure vault’s direction. "Maybe that’s gonna change soon."

Vayu stayed silent, but I could still see the stubborn pride in his jaw.

As for me?

I leaned back on the bench, arms folded behind my head, and muttered just loud enough for a few to hear:

"Next time I open my mouth, someone please, just please kick me."

***