Who would study psychology unless they had some issues?!-Chapter 129 - 127 Teacher Zhang: I Give Up

Nan Zhubin once again made an apologetic expression: "It’s just that everything that was supposed to happen has happened—everything."

Alright, there was no time to adjust, and instead, the emotions were pulled even further apart.

Mr. Zhang was already struggling to control the twitching of his breathing and the corners of his mouth.

What exactly does this apologetic expression mean? Are you really apologetic!!

"So, you have a girlfriend now, but at the same time, you have another ’intimate’ female friend; in this situation, you weren’t able to date yet another girl on Christmas a few days ago?"

"Regarding this, you feel very defeated, so much so that it caused [emotional issues]?"

Truly worthy of a seasoned psychological consultant, maintaining logical clarity even in such circumstances.

Nan Zhubin nodded.

Mr. Zhang took a deep breath, forcibly controlling his expression. It’s okay, though Hai De is a bit excessive, at its core it remains the same dilemma, regardless of intensity, and the approach remains essentially the same...

"Your situation is indeed more... complex compared to typical emotional issues." Mr. Zhang softened his wording, "But now that we’re sitting here discussing, it means you’ve already sensed the problem and want to solve it."

Mr. Zhang tried to guide him: "How do you feel now?"

Nan Zhubin thought for a moment, a rather long moment.

Finally, he said: "I don’t know."

Alright, alright, so this is how you want to play.

A totally confused visitor, the kind that really taxes the consultant’s mind.

Mr. Zhang took another deep breath: "It’s okay, let’s take it one step at a time, from the close issues to the distant ones. According to your earlier description, the most recent event was you not being able to date the girl who ’attracted you with her temperament’ on Christmas, resulting in an emotional issue, right?"

Nan Zhubin nodded: "Yes."

"About this matter, how do you feel about it?"

"...Very defeated."

"Has this prompted you to try to reassess your current emotional relationships?"

Nan Zhubin pondered for a moment.

"No, I directly went to another intimate relationship. In her, I found a supplement of achievement."

What kind of supplement of achievement is this exactly?

This time, Mr. Zhang really fell silent and couldn’t promptly respond to Nan Zhubin’s words.

[...Thoughts scrambled, unable to speak?]

[Very well.]

Nan Zhubin noticed the other’s unusual behavior, knowing a turning point had been reached.

He began attempting to seize control of the conversation.

"However, after spending an evening with her, I felt defeated again."

Nan Zhubin proactively enriched the details, making a disappointed expression: "Teacher, have you ever encountered such girls? The kind who are very free-spirited and have strong opinions, she’s that type. She said she enjoys interacting with me, but she doesn’t know how far our future will go, and rather than breaking up over unpleasantness in the future, she prefers to keep the relationship at its current, relatively pure and deep level, but not too deep emotionally."

Mr. Zhang blinked, how pure, and how deep?

If it’s not too deep emotionally, then how is it pure, and how is it deep?

Nan Zhubin put on a troubled expression: "I can’t seem to advance emotionally with her, just staying on the ’surface’. The reason I sought out a third girl was because she was very similar to the second girl, equally energetic and sunny, and I felt those were things I lacked. But her situation is so ’special’. "

Nan Zhubin sincerely said: "Teacher, I feel like I’ve been pursuing love, but I don’t know how to love, how to love correctly."

"Teacher, is there something wrong with me?"

Mr. Zhang racked his brains to affirm Nan Zhubin with roundabout words: "Compared to normal intimate relationships, you are indeed more complex. And since you are different from others, there must be certain issues present. We can try to work together to dissect this issue."

The conversation between consultant and visitor has begun to deepen, and Nan Zhubin focused his gaze intently on Mr. Zhang’s face, posing as if he were paying close attention to the response.

Mr. Zhang thought for a moment, deciding to initiate [Confrontation].

"You say you can’t love. But according to what you’ve said, you have a girlfriend; don’t you think that’s ’love’?"

Nan Zhubin seemed to be hit in a sore spot: "Teacher, that’s another critical point I’m so distressed about."

"My girlfriend pursued me, I accepted; but when I pursue other girls, they don’t accept. It feels like I’m in a vicious cycle, I don’t love those who love me, and those I love don’t love me."

"I’m always bewildered chasing love, and for that, maybe some of my actions aren’t appropriate. But it’s not that I’m not serious about love, quite the opposite, I devote myself wholeheartedly to love, I just can’t find the love I want."

A visitor who likes philosophical and literary metaphors, even more of a challenge for the consultant.

It sounds a bit like a personality disorder, is this session really that advanced?

Continuous techniques have all been blocked, even though the conversation has deepened, this kind of depth ironically makes Mr. Zhang feel like he’s trapped in a maze, unsure of the way forward.

In other words, Mr. Zhang feels like he knows Nan Zhubin’s problem now, but doesn’t know how to further dissect it to solve it.

Awkward pause.

At this point, the safest course is to return to the original state of the problem, no longer rashly judging or advising, but letting the topic drift on the surface, chatting about some cheerful topics, providing ample support.

This way, at least the consulting time can be more easily passed, and perhaps afterward it could lead to a positive review due to the pleasant consultation atmosphere; if the visitor’s willingness to consult is strong, they might even renew due to the satisfaction of venting.

...

[Frequent swallowing, forehead sweating, very nervous.]

[Crossed legs, already given up on managing posture. Arms crossed, starting to defend against me—he, as a consultant, is beginning to defend against me, the visitor?!]

[Readjusting expression, starting some kind of ’preparation’ process.]

[...Looks like they are going to embark on a routine process to pass the consultation time.]

Mr. Zhang’s change in attitude was easily captured by Nan Zhubin.

As a fellow consultant, Nan Zhubin immediately understood the other’s current state.

[Is that it? Given up on in-depth consultation and planning to coast?]

The threshold appeared even earlier than I expected.

Nan Zhubin checked the wall clock, plenty of time remaining, which meant he had more time to operate.

Hence, Nan Zhubin fully took over the conversation and began to guide it: "Teacher, someone as remarkable as you must be much better at handling emotions than I am, right?"

"Can I learn how you handle your emotions?"

Mr. Zhang’s expression changed slightly.

Consultants sharing their experiences is a discussion technique known as [self-exposure]. Used appropriately, it can effectively bridge the gap between visitor and consultant.

At the same time, it can also help consultants fill consultation time.

For Mr. Zhang at this moment, it was a perfect fit.

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