Who would study psychology unless they had some issues?!-Chapter 141 - 139: All the Power Was Used to Resist Pressure

Chapter 141: Chapter 139: All the Power Was Used to Resist Pressure

Nan Zhubin slowly extended his finger, listing things out one by one as if they were treasures from his own collection.

"First, change your own [behavior]—smoking is harmful to health, so I will stop smoking."

"This way, I won’t worry about harming myself with cigarettes, and I won’t be anxious because of it."

"Second, forcibly change your own [cognition]—smoking is harmful to health, but I won’t die in a short time, so it’s okay to continue smoking; or even more straightforwardly, others smoke without issue and live to their nineties, so I won’t have any problems either."

"This can be considered as deceiving oneself, but for the current life, it can also have an improving effect, at least it won’t let negative emotions torture you anymore."

Nan Zhubin was profound.

He looked at Li Minglu.

[His gaze started to drift away from my face, and his eyes were somewhat frozen, indicating that part of his attention has started to think.]

[But... he is still blinking frequently, which is the beginning of self-concealment; he is avoiding that answer.]

[I still need to point it out directly.]

Nan Zhubin deliberately slowed his speech, giving Li Minglu time to think at the same pace, also to soothe himself.

When he redirected his gaze back, Nan Zhubin’s tone became notably more firm and powerful.

"First, let’s put aside your ’current life’ and compare your ’ideal life’ with your ’past life’."

Nan Zhubin looked into Li Minglu’s eyes, ensuring that all his knowledge and all his strength could be transmitted to the other party to the greatest extent.

"Your ’ideal life’ is your [cognition], and your ’past life’ is your [reality]."

"And your [cognition] and [reality] are clearly in conflict."

"And it is because of this—breeds a lot of negative emotions."

Li Minglu swallowed.

He had a naked feeling, as if the things he had always hidden and concealed well were discovered by someone.

He should have avoided and escaped at this time.

But he inexplicably felt a bit excited, a bit anticipative—because he knew he had always hoped someone would notice these hidden corners.

He wasn’t willing to speak about his situation himself; he would even conceal his thoughts. But when others actively discovered the things he had buried, he would be happy.

Li Minglu slowly said, "Mr. Nan, do you mean—this is the cause of my [depression]?"

Nan Zhubin, however, shook his head.

"This is one of the causes."

Having a number one implies there is a number two.

"The conflict between [cognition] and [reality] doesn’t immediately knock a person into depression. More often, it just generates [negative emotions]."

"In this situation, decisive people will change their [reality], break away from the environment that makes them conflicted, seek a new life, and liberate themselves; passive people might change their [cognition], lowering their expectations and requirements, forming a self-consistent logic."

"But you—"

Nan Zhubin looked at Li Minglu, looking at his visitor.

He was currently staring motionless straight into Li Minglu’s eyes, slowly opening his mouth, stating his judgment.

"You picked neither, and you’ve been soaking in negative emotions all along."

Li Minglu had strong motivation, but he seemed to have misdirected this motivation, pointing the gun at himself.

"You forcefully suppressed your body’s instincts, choosing none of the methods that could make you a little more comfortable."

"You neither changed your [cognition] nor the [reality] around you, abruptly letting your body endure the ravages of negative emotions."

"Continuous, year after year damage."

"Until your emotions and rationality gradually collapsed."

"Eventually—leading to [depression]!"

...

After experiencing [cognitive dissonance] and not undergoing [cognitive adjustment], it ultimately leads to collapse and causes [depression].

This is Nan Zhubin’s final assessment of Li Minglu.

Judging from his powerful motivation, which allowed him to overcome drug addiction forcefully, he undoubtedly is a strong person.

But his strength hasn’t been used at all on changing his life, or himself for that matter.

Instead, it’s been used on "endurance."

However, no matter how thick the shell, under the perpetual dripping of water eroding the stone, it will eventually break down horribly.

This is why Li Minglu has now become riddled with a thousand scars.

So next, to cure Li Minglu’s problem from its roots, Nan Zhubin can set different levels of goals according to Li Minglu’s own state and willingness.

Or it can be understood as "upper," "middle," and "lower" strategies.

First, change Li Minglu’s current [reality], making his daily life reach his ideal level. However, this requires not only the joint efforts of Nan Zhubin and Li Minglu but also the cooperation of more environmental factors, making it quite difficult, and the effect is unpredictable and challenging to maintain—this is the lower strategy.

Second, change Li Minglu’s current [cognition], preventing him from expecting reality to reach his ideal level. This solution only requires changing Li Minglu, which is relatively easy, but it’s hard to ensure that new problems won’t arise in the future—considered the middle strategy.

Third, find out the "source of motivation" for Li Minglu, understand what has allowed him to endure so long without changing [reality] and [cognition]. Trace the origin, helping him redirect this motivation from targeting himself to aiming towards the outside world.

If all goes well, then Li Minglu will be able to gain enough strength to change his own [cognition] or [reality].

Implementation is quite difficult, yet—it is what Nan Zhubin believes to be the upper strategy!

...

After Nan Zhubin stated his judgment.

Li Minglu swallowed, feeling a bit nervous, yet visibly delighted.

[Leaned forward, and the duration and frequency of direct eye contact with me have increased.]

[His eyes have brightened.]

This indicates that Nan Zhubin’s judgment was entirely accurate.

When a visitor’s deeply buried privacy and essential issues are unearthed, while there will be a strong sense of exposure and shame.

But in the confidential and safe environment provided by the consultant, the visitor’s emotions will shift in two directions.

One is—"He’s amazing, he can even see through this!"

The other is—"He gets me!"

Nan Zhubin had undoubtedly analyzed Li Minglu’s heart cleanly just now.

With the conversation reaching this point, the consulting relationship between Nan Zhubin and Li Minglu had become quite solid.

After that, the conversation could become more direct, more efficient.

Nan Zhubin straightforwardly asked his question, first wanting to try his "upper strategy"—that is, to explore the source of motivation and redirect its direction.

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