Who would study psychology unless they had some issues?!-Chapter 186 - 184 Facing Emotions, Consultation Ends

He wondered if he saw something else through the eyes of Nan Zhubin.

Zhuang Junzhe seemed uncomfortable, his nostrils flaring sharply a few times, then he suddenly lowered his head, avoiding eye contact with Nan Zhubin.

But Nan Zhubin knew every word he said now would definitely be taken in forcefully by the other party.

Nan Zhubin continued: "Some people cannot face their own shortcomings, while for others, it’s the exact opposite—they cannot recognize their own excellence."

"Using humility and pressure to spur oneself on is not the only path; encouraging oneself with excellence and self-sufficiency can also lead to progress."

After hearing this, Zhuang Junzhe suddenly raised his head, as if seeking confirmation for something: "Is humility wrong?"

Nan Zhubin replied, "If it makes you uncomfortable and troubled, then it’s wrong."

Zhuang Junzhe was startled. He expected Nan Zhubin to give a negative answer, but he hadn’t anticipated this kind of reasoning process.

Feeling uncomfortable because of humility—isn’t that a personal issue?

"Feeling uncomfortable due to humility isn’t a personal issue, but rather a problem with the ’way of being humble.’" Like he had a mind-reading technique, Nan Zhubin’s next question answered the doubt in Zhuang Junzhe’s heart.

"Your way of being humble has gone a bit too far."

Nan Zhubin slowly said, "Emotions generated by the body are actually a feedback on the current state; and discomfort arises when the body is attempting to self-rescue, it’s reminding you—this can’t go on."

"Many current educational methods teach students to suppress emotions and control them. In a sense, this isn’t wrong; but you can’t suppress all emotions indiscriminately with a sweeping approach."

"Emotions are an important part of the body’s feedback mechanism to the outside world, likened to a self-protection mechanism; negative emotions are like ’pain,’ a kind of warning of danger. When someone experiences extreme negative emotions, it is actually the body telling you to get out quickly, or else—the consequences could be dire."

Zhuang Junzhe once again showed an expression of sudden realization; Nan Zhubin’s explanation of emotions was something he’d never heard before.

But this was not the end.

"At the same time," Nan Zhubin said, "this is also another issue for you—you don’t face your own emotions. Xiao Zhuang, you’re a bit too rational."

...

Zhuang Junzhe took a deep breath and asked, "Rational... isn’t good?"

His voice inexplicably became a little weak.

Nan Zhubin nodded, then shook his head.

"’Rational’ in itself is very good. When you first came for consultation, you had a thorough understanding of your situation, an in-depth analysis of yourself. Few people your age can do this; it helps you in thinking."

Nan Zhubin spoke like a wise old sage.

"Rationality in itself is good." He repeated, "But an excessive pursuit of rationality—it’s not good."

Zhuang Junzhe blinked, seemingly not understanding.

This was within Nan Zhubin’s expectations, but he didn’t explain directly. Instead, he shifted the conversation:

"About that girl who approached you, went on a few dates with you, and then left you—your operation of the [Rational Emotive Therapy] independently was quite good."

Zhuang Junzhe felt the topic shifted a bit too fast, but he still nodded and curved his lips into a response expected from someone being praised humbly.

"But during your operation, your emotional reaction was strong."

Nan Zhubin pondered for a moment, speaking bluntly: "You like her, at least you did like her. Although she approached you first, in the process you grew to like her."

Zhuang Junzhe opened his mouth, seemingly wanting to say something.

"Her departure, in addition to layering a sense of failure from her ’denial of your ability,’ also brought about near-heartbreak... no, it was ’actual heartbreak’ sadness."

Zhuang Junzhe lowered his head.

"And in this situation, you directly categorized her departure as an ’ability’ issue; you also took her as the fuse for past troubles, eager to resolve this problem."

Zhuang Junzhe raised his head: "Is there something wrong with that? After an emotional setback... shouldn’t one come out of it quickly and let life return to normal?"

Nan Zhubin nodded: "That’s a very rational thought."

He looked into the visitor’s eyes: "But—can people really be this rational?"

Zhuang Junzhe was stunned.

"They can’t." Nan Zhubin answered his own question directly, "People aren’t absolutely rational; they are inevitably troubled by emotions."

"Because of rational thinking, you know the optimal solution to the problem, and understand what you should do. In this situation, you know you need to move on quickly, so you want to suppress your emotions and re-engage in work and life."

"But plans are just plans, and execution is execution. When a person wants to set aside their emotions, the emotions won’t be so obedient; unresolved emotions will stick with a person like a shadow, disturbing them, disrupting life and work, creating a vicious cycle."

Nan Zhubin concluded, "This is why I say—people shouldn’t pursue rationality excessively."

"As for the results I just mentioned from excessively pursuing rationality, you’ve probably experienced them during this period, which is why you came for consultation."

Zhuang Junzhe fell silent.

Nan Zhubin waited patiently.

After five breaths, the visitor’s voice sounded again: "... Teacher... then what should I do?"

Nan Zhubin smiled: "Just like I said earlier—accept emotions."

"Many people think it’s weak to be sad after a breakup, so they pretend to be carefree. But—isn’t one supposed to be [sad] after a breakup?"

Nan Zhubin’s pace of speech was slow and steady, conveying a certain resolute strength: "Just like long hours without eating will make you [hungry], long periods without drinking water will make you [thirsty], working for a whole day will make you [tired]; these are all instincts of the body—emotions are the same."

"You need to allow emotions to appear and accept their appearance. Face them, confront them, so that you can process them."

"When you’re hurt, you need to heal and recuperate, it’s a very reasonable thing to do. Otherwise, it’s like someone whose leg is broken, yet stubbornly wishing to keep running; the consequences..."

Nan Zhubin shook his head, showing a contorted expression, and didn’t continue.

Zhuang Junzhe’s mind was already in turmoil, having absorbed too much new information at once, he seemed to have lost the ability to think.

Yet he still asked subconsciously, "Then teacher, how should I face this... [sadness] after the breakup?"

This answer, however, was quite simple.

Nan Zhubin reached out, gently placing his hand on the table, and took the paper Zhuang Junzhe had just used to practice [Rational Emotive Therapy], then folded it.

He made all the words on it disappear from the visitor’s view.

"I taught you [Rational Emotive Therapy], but I don’t want you to start using it right after leaving the consultation room. It’s a method you’ll need in the next stage to begin resolving things on your own, as for the current stage—"

Nan Zhubin said naturally: "Like everyone else who has been through a breakup—reduce work and study, find friends to eat, drink, even if it means getting drunk and crying out; you can also lie in bed for twelve hours a day and immerse yourself in memories. If that’s not enough, you can find some love movies to watch."

"But just like ’don’t pursue rationality’ excessively, don’t ’pursue heartbreak’ excessively either. Experience your emotions, if you still feel sad, continue the above processes; if you feel mostly recovered, though some [sadness] remains, but it’s not as intense, then start using [Rational Emotive Therapy] to move forward, start letting life get back on track."

"Some visitors get trapped in their emotions and need psychological consultation because they can’t extricate themselves, but I believe you can grasp the ’degree’ well."

Nan Zhubin smiled, summarizing this consultation.

"As I said before—Xiao Zhuang, you’re excellent."

At this time, the wall clock ticked once again, as the minute hand completed a lap.

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