Wife's Bitter Revenge Against Neglectful CEO Husband-Chapter 180: Nightmares

Drowning in blood red, I struggled to rise to the surface of the most recent nightmares. My body ached from the tension of fighting to survive a surreal chase event that spanned land and sea only I had no idea if I was running away from someone or something or chasing after them.

Wherever I went, whatever I touched seeped blood, coloring my reality and cloying my senses until I couldn’t find a way out. The longer I remained submersed, the darker the red became until I was facing hopeless darkness.

This was too much, too real. I was about to face the retribution for my sins that I deserved. The guilt and shame that I couldn’t shake during my waking and sleeping hours ever since the encounter with Dot and Joshua was about to end. I could only hope that I’d peace and happiness in my next life, if there was such a thing.

I relaxed into the comfort of knowing my suffering would end soon. Only then do I feel the reassure comfort of arms around me and the undeniable scent of the man I loved. It gave me hope and a focal point for escaping the nightmare as surely as a bright light leads a dead man into an afterlife. But did I want it or did I want to relief that came with a real death?

I paused, debating what I had to live for. My mother was gone. My best friend was dead. If I lived, I’d face the bad dreams again and again until they ate away at my sanity. Wouldn’t it be better to end it now while the decision was mine?

I settled back into the darkness, washing away the feeling of Alec’s arms around me and the annoying buzzing in my head that was steadily getting louder. I squeezed my eyes shut and hid away deep within myself, determined to just let it all go and end things there where I couldn’t hurt people anymore because the next person I hurt might be someone I love.

Sharp pain against my flesh threatened to disrupt my decision, but I was too far gone to give up so easily. The buzzing intensified until it became muffled words that I didn’t want to hear.

Again, the pain broke through. This time, I recognized it as a slap. Someone struck me, calling out my name. My body was jerked into a sitting position. The band of arms around me tightened until I had problems breathing, but wasn’t that what I wanted? To give up breathing and disappear into the blackness forever? Away from the crimes committed in my name?

I was no better than Lettie now. I used people like Sampson and Jake as tools of destruction because for some insane reason, I thought I knew best what should happen. Now people are dead because of me.

Warm, wet liquid dotted my face. One drop landed square on my left eye. I blinked away the liquid as more wetness hit me. Sobs escaped someone, but it wasn’t me. I’d caused more pain. This would never do.

My arm moved, pressing out against the arms holding me, as I did my best to free myself from my prisons—both the one imagined and the real one caging my physical body. I couldn’t hurt someone else. Especially this person holding me. This very special person whose wet tears salted my skin, my lips. If he wanted me alive so desperately, what right did I have to die. I owed him so much for staying with me. I wasn’t worthy of his love, his protection and support, but he gave it all to me so freely. The least I could do was live with agony a little longer.

I forced my eyes open and looked up to see Alec’s face made ugly with agony and fear.

"That’s it, baby," Alec pleaded. "Come back to me. I need you, Teela. You can’t leave me."

"Alec," I whispered.

"I’m here, sweetheart. Are you alright? You were having a nightmare. I couldn’t wake you. It scared me."

I nodded, still pulling myself out of the murky depths of my demented subconscious. What had a been thinking? I didn’t want to die. Truly, I didn’t, but at that moment, it had felt like the best option. The only option.

I couldn’t go on like this.

Tears welled in my eyes as I watched the man I love cry because of me. I’d done this to him. He was innocent. Before he met me, he had built himself a normal life out the ashes of a scary childhood. He’d made a concerted decision to be a good man regardless of who his father’s reputation. It was only because of me that he’d been pulled back into that world.

Alec wiped the tears from my eyes. "Don’t cry, baby. It was only a dream. I’m here. I’ll always be here. You can’t leave me, right? It would kill me if you left me."

"You’re crying, too," I pointed out.

A broken grin briefly appeared on Alec’s face as he wiped at his own tears. "Yeah, I guess you’re right. Maybe we both need a good cry."

I rested my head on his chest as my arms wrapped around him, returning the anguished embrace as we both gave into the tears we had tried to suppress for the last two weeks, as we were determined to be brave for one another.

When my nose began to run, I broke away and grabbed for a tissue from the box next to the bed, but Alec wasn’t about to let me go far. His body moved with mine as if we shared a polarity too strong to ever be broken. Never mind I was too broken right now to be a part of a healthy relationship.

This couldn’t go on.

Alec and I dried our faces and settled back on the bed, still touching.

"Tee, would you consider going to therapy?" His voice was soothing, easy, lacking all but a gentle edge of the previously displayed desperation. "I know people who can be trusted to treat you fairly. I’ll go with you, if you like."

I didn’t argue. There was no point. It was time to admit that I was incapable of handling all the feelings pulling me down without help. Not if I wanted to survive and give Alec the life he deserved.

"I’ll go, Alec. Can you set it up for me? Soon, I think. I shouldn’t have put it off."

I should have taken the initiative after the first nightmare that first night back at home. I’d known then I wasn’t going to be able to handle it. I knew the moment Alec fed me the story about how Eugene handled Josh and Dot that it was all a fabrication to give me peace.

Dot had threatened my safety too many times. She’d made it too clear that as long as she was alive, I’d never live a moment at ease. The men in my life were too protective to let that slide, not after the vicious insanity she’d displayed.

And Joshua had helped her. If he could help her turn King into a shadow of his former self, he was more than capable of harming me. I should have known that from all the things he’d help Lettie and Anya do to me before, but he’d always shown regret for his actions and mostly lived in the background. I’d shown me tiny kindnesses when I needed them the most. For that, I’d forgiven him time and time again.

At some point, I had to take the blinders off and accept the reality that my ex-brother-in-law was just as corrupted as Lettie, Anya, and Daniel. But that didn’t mean I thought he should die with broken hands in the basement at the hands of men like Sampson and Eugene. 𝚏𝗿𝗲𝐞𝚠𝕖𝐛𝗻𝗼𝐯𝕖𝚕.𝚌𝗼𝗺

It wasn’t that I looked down on Sampson and Eugene. Sure, they were scary men, but I’d accepted a long time ago that the world needed a few scary men like them to help maintain balance in this world. I was so glad they were on my side and not against me.

"Teela?" Alec asked as he stroked my hair.

"Hm?"

"Let’s have a baby. We need something good and pure in our lives. Let’s make a baby and then spend the next two years in the cabin enjoying the experience of being parents. What do you say?"

"Are you sure this is the right time?"

"Yeah. I really do. I want a mini-you in my life. One of you isn’t enough."

"What if the baby is a mini-you instead?"

"We’ll try again until we have one of each."

"What? Do I look like a baby factory to you?"

"Maybe we will get lucky and create a mini-you in one try. If not, we can negotiate terms for the next one later."

"Alec, this feels like a trick to get me to agree."

"Is it working?"

"Maybe."