You Think I Won't Talk?-Chapter 532
"... Thank you for phrasing it like you did..." — I said, pondering if it was right to let it be done with just like that... finding out I was not convinced with such. — "Yet... even if I suffered there was no need for me to react against you like I did."
"..."
"Duke Clemente is someone polite and correct, therefore you will not take this against me... Yet I believe I need to convey how my actions are regretted, for even as I comprehend your ways... you have taken the trouble to get along with someone like me from the very first time we met."
"... Someone like you, my lady?"
"Yes... someone that was not easy to talk to from the begining and yet you engaged in conversations with me as if it was only natural. I have always appreciated you taking the trouble."
Although telling this truth made me shy, I looked him in the eye to express my sincerity. Seeing how the severity in his eyes wavered slightly to fall silent and pensive before letting out his thoughts.
"Given the lady’s honesty placed in this matter... Let me tell you that, to this day, I cannot get myself to understand what you told me that night."
"..."
"It confused me, very much, truthfully. It was... rather unpleasant to listen." — With prominence, his head lifted and looked outside, away from my eye as I noticed how a bit of a frown was taking shape in his demeanour. Making me regret more of the impulsive reaction I had because of blinded idiocy, for he was probably recalling and feeling off about the memories... Sighing a bit as it was obvious that being talked like that would never feel pleasant when trying to be nice.
"... I can imagine how upsetting it must have been to his grace..."
"..."
"... I am sorry-"
"Why was the lady crying?"
"... pardon?"
"You were crying, and at my persistence, you said such things... It was unpleasant to see those tears falling from the lady’s eyes."
"Ah... um, it was because of a misunderstanding."
"... I see. Was it solved?"
"... yes."
Another awkward silence came upon us. The interruption of my apology with his determined question shook me slightly as I had not expected the mention of my tears. Embarrassment invaded me reasonably and I lowered my head, lamenting the imprudence of a pained heart.
’I acted like a child... how mortifying it is now to look him in the eye...’ — I sighed within, acknowledging he was in every right to be upset with my behaviour. Getting ready to get my apologies rejected... while he apparently thought otherwise.
"If I ever see you unwell, is it alright if I still behave as I did, Lady Marianne?" — He then asked, almost out of nowhere when it felt as if the conversation was coming to an end. Taking me off guard while he seriously inquired, with clear and determined eyes. — "As it was unpleasant, I would like to still offer some kind of aid to the lady even if it is unwanted."
"..."
"Maybe it is not a welcomed behaviour from myself."
"!? N-no... Duke Clemente’s question only startled me slightly... It is truthfully a very sweet thing to ask, therefore... haha..." — After coming back from the blank, I chuckled at my foolishness, remembering how straightforward and direct a man he usually was while in that severe demeanour he wore. — "Hopefully it will not happen for it is shameful to show such a sight to his grace or anybody... yet, was there a next time, I will gladly take the offer, your Grace. Many thanks, truly."
"Yes. Hopefully, it will not happen again."
"Haha... yes, I will be careful..."
"... I meant that if it does not happen again then it will mean the lady is fairing well."
"..."
"It appeared like you misunderstood the meaning of my words."
"Ah, I see... Thank you."
It was an awkward moment even though the duke had conveyed he was alright with such a resolution over the matter.
Perhaps, for me, it was the difference with the past that on this occasion we were conversing without the post-it notes that I usually employed in conversations which made the aftertaste feel odd. To some degree, I even felt a sense of embarrassment since, when it came to Duke Clemente, I had completely remained silent for most of our interactions unlike I did with the crown prince and dad...
Maybe it was also the little closeness we truly had becoming apparent and that was so unlike the confidence I tended to experience while silently interacting with him through little notes... or maybe it all goes back to myself not being the same as I was until a few days ago.
’Now I feel strange... should I have expressed myself differently? Or is it that I am too self-conscious of every little change I seem to notice...?’ — I contemplated while the silence in the carriage deepened. Solely feeling a hint of relief at the fact that at the very least I was able to come forward and tell him I regretted my attitude at the Ball.
The course of the carriage did not stop in consideration to my new worries and it was only the sounds of the exterior and its wheels that filled our ambience for a while. Causing me to start to reminisce about the times I have ridden and travelled in a carriage before... and those who accompanied me.
’... Surely, Dad will be waiting at our destination...’ — With fondness I believed, unable to imagine what was the depth behind all of this preparation. And almost instantly, as I could not satiate the curiosity in my own imagination, my thoughts drifted to think of him who I had dreamed of... and I wanted to see indescribably much. — ’... I wonder if he also will be there... last night felt short... for it to be his last visit...’
In a bit of a blushed pout, I recalled the touch of his hand, wondering how we would meet and when... feeling impatient while daydreams wanted to play with my mind.
