You Think I Won't Talk?-Chapter 629
’Was it wise to let time go by and just wait hoping to meet her once she is back? I feel my heart tearing apart the more I miss her... the more I wish I could be shamelessly selfish and reckless like I was when I was ignorant of how precious you are to my soul, my entrancing love...’ — "How am I to ask...? How am I to greet you when... when I fear for a reply that may rip my life away..."
— I threw them away. —
’... my lady would not do such a thing without a motive...’
— I read them, yet had no wish to answer. —
’... she would still answer... telling not to send more letters...’ — Overthinking as he had learned to do hoping to please her, Zeleskiaz grumbled troubled to already know it was meaningless a struggle to put on himself. Too conscious of the straightforward personality the woman he loves owns and finding the answers on his own.
"Something happened that I ignored... perhaps she never truly received my letters. She also had many matters to attend to and was at someone else’s home as well... that woman was near her as a guest too... and Noverrne as well... if they were there... perhaps..... That may be a reason behind the lack of response..."
His chest was tight now that there was less time left for their reunion... Zeleskiaz was saddened because even in the alarming uncertainty he was anxious to hear anything even if negative from his beloved. The separation had him numb most of the time and solely once recalling that his efforts would eventually be beneficial for them as a couple he could gather the enthusiasm to meet the next day.
"... there will be little time for us tomorrow... perhaps we will meet only once we enter the Ball.... haha... oh, sh*t... I am hopeless." — Concerned, his frown deepened with a forceless laugh, astonished by his quick idea to finally make some of the yearned privacy. — "... if she agrees... we could make another escape from the Ball..... My hands would become the menace but... It cannot go on like this... I cannot continue like this."
He stood from his mattress, going like every other night to the window from which he always prayed to get a gist, a sense of her presence even while aware of her absence. The coldness was nothing to his skin as it became impassive by missing her and only the image his ultramarine crafted while falling on the balcony below could make him smile again... daydreaming the sight.
’Precious love... mistic woman that owns my soul..... Although it hurts not hearing from you... although I fear your visage turning sour once meeting my gaze...’ — "It excites my every speck.... No matter the case... your scent will no longer be an illusion, my beloved... my lady... Marianne... near you’ll finally be... near enough for my hands to be blessed, even if by a graze."
His skin tickled by the idea. Zeleskiaz’s endless wait would come to an end soon enough... and what is more...
"A month has practically passed..... Perhaps... I can now confess with thoroughness....." — The beating of his heart made the in-love crown prince feel dizzy. The tightness of his chest had him breathless by the expectations for even if rejected he had come to an answer thanks to his Mother.
— You have not told her directly that you love her..... Because you fear losing her if rejected? —
— Even if her majesty does not believe it... yes. —
— It is fine if she rejects you, dear son of mine. —
"... it is alright as long as my love does not whither because of rejection... for I will still be able to earn her favour if devoted to earn such treasure." — He recited full of hope his mother’s words.
— After all, I rejected your father even after we got married, fufufu~ as long as you do not give up you may win her love, son. —
Zeleskiaz was hopeful even if his feelings were not returned now. However, no sleep was gained that night and while he contemplated the what-ifs the next day could grant there were some other shadows doing the same.
The instincts of the crown prince were not easily wrong when a beastly deity was also guiding it. Winter was officially starting in this Ama Dhemnih and with the season, the evil’s movements could finally gain force to oppose those standing in its way.
"... any words from the artefact she handed? Tomorrow she is supposed to join the Ball is she not? We arrived as agreed, it is time we meet in person, don’t you think... Sverre?"
"There will most likely be no word, Niccolò. Tomorrow, limit yourself to observing Zeleskiaz... his attention will be fixated on the Ninth’s existence... and so should be yours."
*******
Without noticing, Zeleskiaz found most comfort by the window. His eyes closed as if a brief blink, opening to see how the sun was barely able to peek its rays through the horizon, about to rise between clouds keeping a wish to cry.
"..... I fell asleep..." — Drowsy, he muttered as the sight of the loved’s balcony was immediately met. Inciting his corners to lift, more delighted than troubled in his sluggish state.
There was a hint of drizzle mixed in the air. His nose felt it fresh as a way to wake and standing from the frame, he watched the scene outside... tenderly casting his ultramarine in the gates she was soon to enter.
"... in an hour or so..... I wonder if the next time I stand by this window your figure will finally be there to take my breath away again, my love."
Opening the curtain, allowing light to enter as if thanks to it her presence would arrive sooner, Zeleskiaz took off the loose blouse, walking in a jolly mood to his bathroom. Washing himself, calming his eagerness in cold waters while entranced to know that as soon as her essence made it through the gates, his skills would learn of her arrival and the dull scents of the palace would again become lively thanks to her blissful grace.
