A Wimp's Strategy Guide to Conquer the Tower
Chapter 72
After finishing his business at the Tower Player Awakening Administration, Juhyeok hurried straight home.
He was in a rush.
Joy doubles when you share it.
After quickly doing a Designated Summon on the summoned entities—
“Come take a look at this fresh-off-the-repair-line rune.”
Juhyeok held out the Trait enhancement rune like it was some kind of royal insignia.
“G-Gasp! T-Trait enhancement? Is this a dream, or real life, sir?”
Cossack approached in quick little steps, bowing at the waist.
“Truly a magnificent choice, sir. What would we have done if you’d listened to me back then and rubbed the scroll on the holy sword?”
“I just had a feeling. Like—yeah, I should use this on the broken rune.”
Rubbing his palms together as he eagerly agreed—
“Hehehe, as expected of Summoner Bong. You’re brilliant, sir.”
“Hahaha, brilliant my ass. I just got lucky.”
“Ah, but isn’t luck also a skill? Hehehehe!”
The other summoned entities, too—
“Good. Good! A warrior is very good.”
“Master’s sincerity has moved the heavens. I feel as though a dance is spilling from me of its own accord.”
“Certain victory! Infinite glory upon the road you walk, Commander!”
“SQUEEEAK!!”
Everyone was happy together.
“While it’s still fresh, please eat it quickly, sir. I’ll fetch you a glass of water so you don’t choke.”
Cossack had been going full loyal-retainer mode lately. The badge effect really was huge.
Anyway, it was better to consume it fast.
A repaired item held together by mismatched fragments.
If he wasn’t careful, the repaired parts might fall off.
Juhyeok quickly put the rune into his mouth.
The instant it touched his tongue, it melted smoothly and slid down his throat—Trait enhancement rune.
[Your Awakening Trait is being enhanced.]
What about the Status Window?
It was fantastic. Six simultaneous summons—he felt full even without eating.
The summoned entities clapped in celebration. He raised a hand in reply.
“Let’s proceed with the event.”
“Going straight into Random Summon?”
“No. That’s the second part. The first part is a merit commendation.”
Juhyeok smiled warmly and spoke while looking at Rajix.
“Rajix, step forward.”
“SQUEAK!”
RROOOLL. STOP!
After pulling out a Platinum Badge—
“By discovering fragments of the Trait enhancement rune and rendering great service to our future Tower climbing, you are hereby awarded this badge. Your supplementary prize is one box of pesticide-free organic carrots from Jeju.”
“SQUEEEAK...”
Juhyeok pinned the badge onto Rajix’s Subspace Backpack.
Three badges, shining brightly.
Rajix puffed his chest out and waddled around the living room once on his short legs.
Nobody could deny it.
Because of Rajix, the Summoner was stronger—and safer.
“Worker Rajix! Your swagger is insane, sir!”
“Congratulations. You are the greatest servant in the world. You have every right to be arrogant.”
“Supply Officer! I respect you. And envy you.”
“Impressive. Worker.”
“Three badges, sir. Isn’t it heavy? I can carry one for you.”
“HUH-EK!”
Rajix’s face was overflowing with happiness.
“The second part is Random Summon. Finally, one more person is coming.”
A first meeting with someone new.
Man or woman, it didn’t matter.
He just wanted them to be a normal person.
“And the third part is shopping. We’re going to run straight through to the fourth part—an after-party. Brace yourselves.”
“Eh? Feels like we’re gonna run out of time, sir.”
“We’ll take a three-hour break in the middle, then meet again and go to the after-party.”
“I’m curious about the after-party menu, sir.”
“Hmm. We have perception-interference talismans, so... how about a top-tier buffet?”
“Eek! Meatshield might get kicked out, sir.”
“...Is that so?”
Well, does he eat that much?
The beef place they went to before would be better.
This time, he should tell them to prepare five hundred servings.
“When the new teammate arrives, be nice to them, everyone. No hazing.”
“Hehehe, as a senior, I’ll teach the new teammate everything from one to ten, step by step.”
“The warrior will care for the new teammate in every way.”
“I am confident in new recruit training.”
“No matter how bad the draw is, can it possibly be worse than Mad Demon?”
“SQUEAK.”
What class would be good?
“Everyone, say what type of teammate you want. For the record, I’m fine with anyone. Rank, gender, age, job—doesn’t matter.”
Cossack spoke first.
“I’d like a saintess or a priest, sir. A refined noble who doesn’t scream and blow up, and who’ll let it slide even if I slurp noodles.”
GLARE!
Princess Gyeon Dallae glared at Cossack once, then—
“...A holy knight would also be acceptable. A wise holy knight who can give Master sincere counsel, rather than a cunning flatterer.”
Veronica, too—
“If a capable medic transfers in, I will train them well as the senior.”
Meatshield and Rajix as well.
“If there is a Summoner-exclusive healer, the warrior’s heart will be at ease.”
“SQUEEEAK... me too.”
Everyone wanted a holy-attribute teammate.
Juhyeok didn’t particularly think it was necessary.
Even now, everything was running very smoothly.
But he should follow what his teammates wanted.
It could heal Meatshield, who suffered alone while tanking, and it could also synergize with Gyeon Dallae the shamaness.
Please send just one holy-attribute teammate. If their head is screwed on straight, that would be amazing.
And then—
“Random Summon!”
[Beginning Random Summon.]
“BA-DUM BA-DUM BA-DUM BA-DUM BA-DUM...”
With Cossack’s mouth percussion, FWAAASH! the summon began.
Already the seventh Random Summon.
Meaning it had been six months since he became a Player.
They’d be a decent person, right?
Among that countless number of souls, there couldn’t be zero normal ones.
The swirl of light gathered in one spot.
Then it began to take the shape of a person.
“Oh!”
“I’m nervous, sir.”
“It is radiant, brilliant light. I have a good feeling.”
“SQUEEEAK...”
Light filled the penthouse living room.
It didn’t fade easily.
At last—PA-PA-PA-SPOT!
A new summoned entity finally revealed themself.
He could see clearly.
He could even guess the class.
“...A knight?”
“Correct. Wearing armor.”
“Ahh, behold—the Radiance.”
“Holy, knight, sir?”
“Buy what?”
“Holy. Knight.”
It really did seem like a holy knight.
They were armed in gleaming plate armor.
Dense, unsettling spikes studded across the surface.
The weapon in their hand was a metal flail wrapped in ➤ NоvеⅠight ➤ (Read more on our source) a silvery film.
It was definitely Radiance.
A weapon and armor that emitted light on their own—Radiance’s holy knight.
A moment later, the light vanished.
And the holy knight bowed their head to Juhyeok.
“I, Lucius Bardin, servant of Lord Nigel and His glorious sword, greet you, Summoner.”
“Haha. Welcome.”
Ah.
Just from the way he spoke, Juhyeok could tell.
A solemn voice. A dignified attitude.
Finally—a normal summoned entity.
And a holy knight class, at that.
Then...
He discreetly checked the Status Window category.
<Catalog: The merciless and cruel inquisitor of the Nigel Holy Kingdom.>
Name: Lucius Bardin
Rank: SR (Super Rare)
Type: holy knight (human)
Manifestation Time Limit: 6 hours
Satisfaction Rating: none
Resummon Cooldown: 3 hours (applies after Dismiss Summon)
Inquisitor?
What is that?
Unease seeped into him.
Somehow...
They said a bad feeling was never wrong.
After finishing greetings with Juhyeok, Lucius Bardin shouted with a stiff, stern face.
“So all the filthy heathens are gathered here.”
Oh hell.
Juhyeok and the summoned entities all froze like ice.
“You cunning unbelievers! You are the root cause that leads the Summoner down the path of heresy.”
More and more—
“Summoner! Do not worry. I shall convert you to the righteous path. Repent, and embrace the bosom of Lord Nigel.”
This was bad.
He’d pulled a fanatic.
CLINK. CLINK.
Lucius Bardin, in spiked armor, raised his flail and roared.
“I must set an example.”
His eyes turned to Gyeon Dallae.
“It has been long indeed since I have seen an evil witch such as you. You are the chief culprit who bewitched the Summoner! Repent through death!”
At that very moment!
FWAAASH! Radiance so bright it stung the eyes.
At the same time—SWISH!
Bardin swung the flail down at Gyeon Dallae’s head.
“Meatshield!”
GRAB!
Meatshield, already prepared, caught the flail’s handle.
“Ha! And what are you? A barbarian? I see. You are all in league together. You filthy spawn of demons!”
Ugh. He couldn’t listen to this anymore.
Juhyeok raised a hand to stop him.
“Enough!”
“Hoh... Summoner, why do you stop me?”
Bardin was trembling with excitement.
“You are being deceived. Please, return to Lord Nigel and reclaim the light—”
“Mr. Bardin, don’t open your mouth.”
Juhyeok snapped, firm and cold.
Then—
“MMMPH! MM, MMPH! MMPH! MMPH!”
“Don’t even make a sound. And don’t move, either.”
“...”
He listens, at least.
“Phew...”
A sigh came out on its own.
Yeah. This was the weak man’s fate. Things had been going weirdly well lately—so of course.
Is Princess okay?
Gyeon Dallae looked fine. Thankfully, it didn’t seem like she’d taken the blow.
Bardin stood there, unable to do anything under Juhyeok’s command.
In front of him, Meatshield had his fists clenched, Cossack had his dagger up, Veronica aimed her magic gun, and even Rajix held his golden pickaxe, glaring sharply at Bardin.
While he had the chance, Juhyeok quickly checked the background description.
Lucius Bardin is an inquisitor of the Nigel Holy Kingdom. He devoted his entire life to judging and condemning heathens. His method of condemnation was execution—killing, and killing, and killing again with a holy flail. Unbelievers, heretics, apostates, witches—everyone was a target for Bardin’s “repentance.”
He had no brakes. He refused any instruction to “keep it reasonable.” It was repentance or death. The holy flail never had time to dry. Feeling uneasy, the Pope of the Nigel Holy Kingdom excommunicated Bardin, and the holy knight order captured him, framed him as a witch’s child, and burned him at the stake.
...Wow.
Images flickered through Juhyeok’s mind.
Repent!
I-I will.
Don’t lie!
P-please...
CRACK!
Do you believe in the Lord?
I believe. I do.
You are an unbeliever.
N-no, what do you think I just—
CRACK!
A crazy fanatic.
He might be even crazier than Mad Demon.
He’d wanted a new teammate so badly.
But it felt wrong to send him back.
Could he be rehabilitated?
“Mr. Lucius Bardin?”
“...”
“From now on, hostile actions toward your teammates are forbidden. If you do this even once, I will send you back immediately.”
Bardin still didn’t speak.
“You can answer.”
And then, a desperate plea burst out of him.
“S-Summoner! It is not too late. Let us walk the path of repentance together. We must offer hymns and prayers. Repeat after me. O Lord in Heaven, today again a lamb has lost its way and wanders the dark wilderness—”
“Shh!”
“MMMPH! MMPH!”
No. This was hopeless.
If this guy ever invoked Summoned Principles, Article Three, Juhyeok could already see the future.
Even with six simultaneous summons, he didn’t want this lunatic in the party.
He’d rather wait another month and pull someone else.
“Go back to where you were. Right now, Dismiss Summon—”
In that moment—
“Summoner Bong,”
Cossack came close and whispered.
“Don’t dismiss him yet, sir.”
“Why?”
“I think he’ll have a use, sir.”
“A fanatic?”
What could he possibly be used for?
“As Summoner Bong’s right hand, and a genius of scheming, I will handle it. Leave it to me, sir.”
“Hmm.”
Well, then—
“Try it.”
“Yes, sir!”
He was curious what Cossack planned, anyway—
*****
[Entering Black Tower (Republic of Korea) Floor 64.]
The moment they entered, Cossack and Meatshield were whispering to each other over there.
Why did they come into the Tower?
Juhyeok still didn’t know.
What were they going to do with a fanatic inside the Tower?
Try to persuade him while hunting?
What if, mid-ghoul fight, Bardin shouted, “Die, heathen!” and swung a flail into the back of their heads?
How would they stop that?
It was absolutely possible.
A mad holy knight, packed tight with warped convictions—blind faith so intense he’d throw away even a knight’s pride.
Cossack smiled, sour and sharp.
“Meatshield. Let’s begin.”
SHOOOOOOOOM!
Meatshield’s Enlargement.
Bigger, and bigger, until he rose all the way to the cave ceiling.
With a monstrous hand, Meatshield lifted the inquisitor Bardin straight into the air.
Bardin couldn’t even resist.
The difference in size was absurd.
If Meatshield was an adult human, Bardin was the size of a small lapdog.
“Eek! What are you doing? Put me down! You filthy barbarian—you are no different than the spawn of demons!”
Meatshield ignored him.
He gripped Bardin’s ankles tightly in his right hand.
“The warrior is ready.”
Then Cossack spoke to Juhyeok.
“Summoner Bong, order that inquisitor to manifest Radiance, sir.”
Radiance?
Why here—
Are they testing something?
Maybe seeing whether the Radiance of a crazy inquisitor would also work on undead—
“Mr. Bardin.”
“Summoner! Command these heathens to be punished for me! Establish the law of Lord Nigel!”
“...Okay. Manifest Radiance.”
Fanatic or not, he was still a summoned entity—he couldn’t disobey the Summoner’s command.
Especially if it was related to Tower clearing.
“LIGHT!!!”
FWAAASH!
Holy knight and inquisitor, Lucius Bardin, manifested dazzling Radiance across his entire body.
THUD THUD THUD THUD!
Meatshield advanced while swinging Bardin’s body around in wide arcs.
What? Swinging him? Swinging him? Don’t tell me—
The ghoul pack flinched, trembling, backing away.
“KYAaaak!”
“KEH-KEK!”
“KIIIK?”
Meatshield smashed into them with Bardin in his hand.
BWOOOOONG! THUD!
CRUMBLE...
That insane bastard, Cossack!
He’d expected it, but still.
Juhyeok finally realized what Cossack meant by Bardin having “a use.”
A human weapon.
A thought so absurd it never even occurred to him.
He’d forgotten.
Just how insane Cossack was.
Meatshield too.
With no change in expression, he swung Bardin around again and again.
“Y-you! What are you doing? You demons—!”
Then, when Bardin’s Radiance weakened—
“Summoner Bong?”
“...I get it.”
Juhyeok ordered Bardin again.
“Mr. Bardin. Manifest Radiance.”
“LIGHT!!!”
FWAAASH!
BWOOONG! BWUNG! BWUNG!
THUD! THUD! THUD!
Ghouls struck by Radiance scattered into dust. One hit and they were done.
Even a graze turned them into powder.
“Meatshield has a weapon now, sir. A holy sword doesn’t even compare, sir.”
Cossack said it with a bright grin, utterly casual.
Juhyeok stared at him with a blank, stunned face.
Was it just Juhyeok?
Gyeon Dallae shook her head side to side.
Veronica held her magic gun and just stood there with her mouth hanging open.
“SQUEAK...”
Rajix, shocked, dropped the golden pickaxe from his hand.
And Radiance weakened again.
“...Mr. Bardin. Radiance.”
“LIGHT!!!”
FWAAASH! BWOOOOOOONG! THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD!
Ahhh!
Poor Lucius Bardin.
He wasn’t some voice-activated LED bulb.
“Bardin. Radiance.”
“LIGHT!!!”
FWAAASH! THUD-THUD!
“Radiance.”
“LIGHT!!!”
THUD-THUD-THUD!
...Somehow, it was kind of fun.
And thanks to the sturdy armor, it didn’t look like he was getting hurt much.
“LIGHT!!!”
FWAAASH!
Lucius Bardin himself was a holy sword.
A human holy sword, cloaked in Radiance, sweeping through ghoul packs.
Clap clap clap clap!
Cossack clapped, marveling.
“Amazing, sir. A weapon with tremendous power, sir. We could go straight to Floor 70.”
“...”
Yeah. A weapon.
I didn’t pull a summoned entity. I pulled a weapon.
Bardin’s madness was fake.
Cossack’s madness was real.
Fake madness and real madness.
SR madness and SSR madness.
The difference was painfully clear.
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