(Amaia)

Jamina’s funeral rituals begin and my eyes remain on Alnilam. He stands beside her coffin. The grief weighs on him so heavily that his shoulders have slouched low.

A sense of defeat and guilt is all I sense from Alnilam. I can clearly see why it’s so difficult for everyone to accept that she is gone.

She had high morals. She instantly took a step back on realising I was Alnilam’s mate. She didn’t try to play dirty, didn’t try to cling to him. It was just easy to like Jamina. No effort was even needed.

The rituals continue. After the queen, Jamina’s parents place flowers inside her casket and bend to give her one final kiss.

Their grief is palpable and every eye is wet in this cemetery.

After they are done, it’s Alnilam’s turn.

Delicately he picks up her hand and places the engagement ring back on her finger.

"This was hers and will always be," he painfully says, letting go of her hand and gently placing it back over her stomach. Turning around, Alnilam embraces Jamina’s grieving mother.

"It should have been me..." he chokes out. His grief makes my heart wrench so miserably that my knees almost give way.

"That’s how my girl was," Jamina’s mom lets out a painful breath. "She cared about others, especially you and I am proud of my daughter."

Even in mourning, she spoke so bravely and didn’t complain or blame Alnilam. I could see where Jamina had gotten her resilience from.

My blurry gaze wavers to Headmaster Fallon. He pays his respects by placing a garland of flowers inside, followed by all the other faculty members, who do the same.

The Enforcers and Hunters pay their regards too.

After them, it is Alnitak and Mintaka’s turn. Both of them place wreaths of pink roses inside, similar to one I am holding.

"You were like a sister to us. A sister we never had," Mintaka’s voice breaks. Tears roll down his cheeks. I fear Mintaka is going to crawl back into his shell. This incident is going to be too much for him.

"We will miss you. Rest in peace." Alnitak holds his brother. Their collective sorrow and pain I feel deep within my heart.

Jamina’s relatives follow, presenting her with their last tokens. The students follow them.

"Amaia, come," Kacir politely says but his voice is heavy with anguish.

His sister Kayla and Jamina were best friends and now Kacir has lost them both.

Kacir and Rahria take the lead, placing the wreaths inside. They linger, and finally, I step forward.

Jamina seems to be in a peaceful slumber land, laden with flowers, garlands, wreaths and other souvenirs people have brought for her.

Tears slip out seeing her like that. She is never going to open those playful eyes again. She is never going to give me advice or stand up for me again.

No one will be there to start our day with positive and bubbly speeches. To award us with points and gifts whenever we excel.

The world suddenly appears so bleak, so colourless without her. Placing my wreath near her hand, I bid her goodbye in broken words and with blurry vision.

We step back and I go to stand between the twins, hugging them both. They hold on to me and try not to cry. My arms hold their waists.

The casket is closed. Stepping forward, Alnilam takes a long pink ribbon and wraps it around the casket in an elaborately detailed style.

This is another one of Orion’s and werewolf traditions. Once he is done, Alnilam steps back and continues to hold Jamina’s mother.

Lifting the casket, sentinels slowly lower it into the ground. To the soil they return her, burying her under it. Sniffles continue while the rain begins to fall.

Mr and Mrs Astride take the gravestone in their hands and help to erect it.

In one final act of grief and solidarity. Everyone lets their wolves surge forward and painfully howl. Heads lifted upwards towards the weeping sky, the cemetery shakes from these agonising howls and so do our hearts.

A rose bush is planted on the grave by Alnilam in one last and final act. Guests pay their condolences to Jamina’s parents and begin to leave.

Seeing they have a moment. Slowly and with unsure steps, I approach them and introduce myself. They recognise me.

"Amaia. My beautiful girl always spoke very highly of you," her mother says between falling tears. The pain has blanketed her features, and yet there is a clear resemblance to Jamina.

I dab my own using Saiph’s handkerchief.

"Your daughter was a gem. She helped me and taught me lots. Her memories will forever stay with me."

Jamina’s mother holds my hands and gently squeezes them.

"My daughter will live through you people. Keep her memories alive."

With a sniffle, I nod at her.

"Yes, I always will."

The twins remain by Mr and Mrs Astride’s side as rain begins to plummet down. They guide them away, keeping umbrellas above them.

Everyone leaves, everyone except Alnilam. He stands beside her grave like a hunched poll. His silvery strands are plastered to his back.

"Amaia, let me take you back," Saiph says, coming with an umbrella, shielding me from the rain.

"No, I want to stay with Alnilam," I tell him and he painfully nods.

"I will be nearby if you need me." With that, he retreats, and I find my feet carrying me towards Alnilam.

I halt beside him but don’t touch. We stand quietly. The rain drenches us and yet we stay, silent and together.

Alnilam finally breaks the silence.

"With her passing, I truly understand the meaning of the word ’loss’. It’s like I have lost a part of me..." he mumbles, the rainwater drops down from his pointed chin and I know it’s not only the rain drop but also his tears.

"I understand, that’s how I felt when I lost my family...," Reaching out, I let my hand rest on his back, and he let me touch him. He doesn’t distance himself or push me away.

I am grateful.

"It was so easy...it was so very convenient to be with her. Like effortless. She was so easygoing and I always took her for granted," he painfully says, the regrets that coat his words have my insides squirming.

I rub my hand on his back but let him speak. I don’t interrupt.

"I never had to put in much effort. I just existed and she sorted the rest. She filled my life with colours, she understood my moods and pain without saying a word. She did things for me, no one else did." A ragged breath Alnilam snatches in and I gently pat his back again, assuring him I am here, listening.

"And yet I couldn’t love her. I just took and took, until I took her life too. What a hypocrite I am," his voice is heavy as he chokes on these emotions.

The guilt Alnilam carries from her death is a wound which might never heal. It will fester and it will make him sick. I fear that his heart will become too closed.