(Amaia)

My mouth hangs open and I blink at him and then again.

Is this a dream?

I try to utter a word but the shock of what he has said, leaves me speechless.

"What? Are you serious?" Alnitak almost shouts on my behalf.

"Is this happening? Are you accepting Amaia as your mate?" Mintaka places both his hands behind his head and leans back. A smile decorates Mintaka’s lips.

Alnilam’s gaze finds me again. The bond excitedly vibrates from my euphoria and his wolf’s overexcitement.

However, Alnilam’s emotions are contained, hidden behind a veil, so I can’t fully understand them.

"Yes. I am," he answers but I can sense that there is something he is not saying. He has chosen to tell me this in front of his brothers, rather than when we are alone. This is planned and I can never figure out what Alnilam is actually thinking and planning.

It’s still a victory for me but why doesn’t it feel like that? A chance to rebuild this complex relationship I have with him. My hands find my mouth and I try not cry from overwhelming emotions in my chest.

But, I need to be direct with him.

He is still going through trauma and I don’t want him to make a rash decision.

Alnitak hugs me in excitement. "Finally, I thought he would never agree but today has been full of surprises."

"Yeah, looks like you woke up and chose sense today," Mintaka wildly says to Alnilam, earning a raised brow from him.

I step forward and go on to stand in front of him around his desk.

His gaze swiftly moves and his body tenses instead of relaxing. I leave a very limited distance between us. The swirling violet of his eyes is inked and I know Snow is very much on the surface. How I want to hug the fluffy guy instead of Alnilam right now.

"I hope you are not taking me as a charity case. Are you sure this is what you want? Or it’s only because my wings won’t grow if both of us don’t mate."

My direct question throws him. A guilt washes through the bond, his guilt. The one he can’t filter.

"Why does it matter?"

"It matters to me. I don’t want a half-hearted acceptance," I tell him defiantly.

"The six of us need to be on the same page. Not fighting. We need to be one unit knowing we have a common enemy and we are going to be meeting them soon." He doesn’t acknowledge my question, he answers cryptically, strategically, like a guardian as is expected of him.

"Yeah, just what I thought. Why can’t you open your heart for me? What has you so afraid, Alnilam?" My body shakes as I fist my hands and nip the urge to punch him.

Alnilam brings out the worst in me.

"You very well know. I am not sure why I am required to repeat it."

Alnitak’s arms come around me, anchoring me to him, sensing how agitated I have become.

"Let’s not fight. Everyone has a different take on love. Some people are obsessive lovers, others are possessive, some are deranged while a few are just broken and take time. The bonds we share don’t always mean instant love. It takes time for people to understand each other and develop mutual respect."

Alnitak is right. Being mated to someone doesn’t mean you will fall in love with that person. Who else can know this better but me, since I was mated to a person like Tarian.

The bond is just pheromones and chemicals, pulling us towards each other. It doesn’t mean love...

Alnilam doesn’t love me...

He wants to protect me.

He feels responsible for me.

He wishes to be there for me.

But love is a very deep and personal emotion and it can’t happen in the blink of an eye. He just lost someone he had known all his life and he didn’t even love her.

I have only known him for a few months. How do I expect him to be deep in love with me, start worshipping me or becoming obsessed with me?

Maybe, Alnilam and I will never reach that level of bonding and I need to accept it—not blame him. 𝗳𝐫𝚎𝗲𝚠𝚎𝗯𝕟𝐨𝘃𝚎𝗹.𝗰𝗼𝗺

Maybe, Alnitak is right.

"Okay!" I quietly say, sweeping my gaze away from Alnilam’s guarded one.

But, it affects me, no matter what lecture I give myself, Alnilam’s indifference affects me too deeply.

"You people can go now. I have work to do."

Just like that he dismisses us. Alnitak takes me away, Mintaka follows.

I should be joyous. Alnilam has dropped the idea of rejecting me but it just hurts my heart that he is doing it out of duty.

Maybe with time I will get used to it.

It’s the new bond, new emotions.

"He is not good at expressing his feelings. Don’t take it to heart. It’s how he was raised to put others first. Duty above all." Mintaka rubs my back as I sit down on my bed and he settles beside me.

"I understand. It’s so new to me and the feelings sometimes overwhelm me, I know I have to be patient with him." I lean on Mintaka’s shoulder and he kisses my temple.

"We get you, Amaia and we are here for you. Come what may, we will always choose you." Alnitak places his chin on my shoulder and presses my body to his back, hugging me from behind.

"And you will win him over. You always do. You possess that obsessive charm which pulls your mates to you," he whispers and I just nod.

We sit there discussing the next day. We don’t know what their parents will decide but they have assured me that they won’t ever let me go, no matter what the decision is.

I just hope not to become a reason for a brawl between them and their parents. A peaceful and harmonious life I wish to spend with my mates.

But is that even possible in this post-apocalyptic world and with five mates?