(Amaia)

I don’t know when I fell asleep. Exhausted and overwhelmed from the mating and the truth I have revealed.

I wake up wrapped safely in Alnilam’s hair and arms. We don’t even know where he ends and I begin. Our hair has merged with each other, the pointed ends glueing together and becoming one.

His pine and old bookish scent has completely doused me. His presence and the feelings that flow through the bond are so abundant that they overshadow the others.

Alnilam’s presence and personality are overpowering. I don’t know why, but he is different from others, and I feel him more deeply than the rest, uniquely connecting with him.

My magic trusts him more than the others and that’s why I have chosen to share the secret with him.

He sleeps like the flawless grace of a sculpted angel. Rigel is like my dark angel and Alnilam on the other hand is like this light angel, although there is darkness inside of him too, maybe more than Rigel.

What I sense knowing both of them is, Rigel was not born carrying darkness but his circumstances moulded him into this broken man.

Alnilam was born with inner demons, which he tries to fight daily. Some days he succeeds, others he fails.

I don’t care, he is as much mine as others.

Reaching with my fingertips, I touch his handsome, sleeping face. His skin is so smooth to touch.

Alnilam stirs, his hair forming the blanket around my body, tightening its hold as if afraid I will disappear. They slither over my skin like thousands of snakes but the feelings they induce are nothing but tranquil and soothing.

His gorgeous eyes open and focus on me, reflecting my face. A pain resides there and I know the cause. Creases settle on his forehead.

"Good morning!" I softly say, rubbing the furrows from his forehead with my thumb.

"Good morning! Did I tire you out?" Leaning in, he kisses the tip of my nose but his apprehensions are so clear on his face.

"No. I am good. Do you want to talk about it?" My thumb remains on his forehead.

"I am still in denial. It can be an illusion. The figure you saw could be wearing someone else’s face." He sighs. "That’s why I would like to carry out my own investigation."

His words make sense. I have burdened him with a heavy truth and it’s only reasonable for him to think from every angle.

"I would like to help. Can I?" I ask with a soft smile and he nods.

"Yes, together we will uncover this truth, no matter how ugly it is." His arms gather me into his embrace and I bury my face into his comforting chest. "Once we return from the Inter Guild Wars, this will be our priority."

"When are we leaving?" I ask against his chest, soaking in his scent.

"Tonight." His answer makes my thoughts spiral towards Rigel.

"What about Rigel? I don’t want to leave him like that. Where will he stay once all of us are gone?" The thought unsettles me.

Alnilam’s hands grab my face and hold it. Gentle and yet urgent.

His guilt washes down the bond. I had sensed deep emotions from all of them a few hours back but it had been silent since then. Something is wrong.

"He will be fine. Trust me." His words, though sincere, fill my heart with doubt. What is he hiding from me?

"How?" My eyebrows knit together in confusion.

"He will be staying somewhere safe. Once we find a way to remove these curses from him, he will return to us." Alnilam squeezes my face gently but an unrest settles in my heart. His magic tries to calm me down but the agitation builds. They have decided and done something without telling me.

"Where is Rigel? I want to see him." I move away from Alnilam and gently rub his hair so they will release me.

Slowly and unwillingly they let me go while Alnilam sighs and sits up.

"Amaia, listen to me..." he urgently says, but I am already looking for my clothes.

"No, you need to take me to him. I have to see him and ensure he is fine and safe. I can’t feel him. What’s wrong?" Picking up my shirt, I put it on, my necklace and trousers follow.

Alnilam lazily gets up and approaches me on his long legs.

He holds me by my shoulders, making me halt.

"Amaia!" He murmurs. "Please, don’t be angry but..." he closes his eyes for a second trying to hide the descending pain but my heart sinks at his actions. I know something concerning Rigel is coming.

"What?" My voice shakes so horribly. Alnilam opens his eyes.

"Rigel is gone for now. He wasn’t safe here, especially with the curse that prevented him from speaking to you. It compelled him to hurt you. So, he decided to leave Orion for now."

My world topples at his words. My knees tremble so violently that they give way. The unimaginable pain weaves into my heart. He had to leave because of me. Just because he didn’t want to hurt me, he left.

I knew the aftermath of what he was made to do would wreck him and that’s exactly what happened.

"He left?" Disbelief had me shaking. The tears accumulate in my eyes. Alnilam gathers me in his arms. "I couldn’t even say goodbye...you guys didn’t even tell me."

That’s exactly why the bond between him and me is so quiet. He must have turned off his humanity. Every time he does that especially when hunting or once when he went after Tarian, I can’t feel him.

Tears leave my eyes as I begin to cry in helplessness.

"We had no other choice. It was his decision, he knew if you were informed, you won’t let him go."

It hurt, the memories of how I had found his broken, tortured body. The stifling emotions and that boundless void of his suffering. My helplessness at being unable to do something for him and all that accumulated grief broke me.

A shrill scream of agony tore through me. Like a dam breaking, all those repressed emotions tumble out. Alnilam helplessly holds me, trying to calm me down but my heart has shattered.