The room became very quiet and for the first time since waking up, I stopped joking around.

I stared at the leg, then I stared a little longer.

I had survived the apocalypse twice. I had survived starvation, survived zombies, survived Meilan.

But I didn’t know if I was going to be able to survive this.

The idea of permanently limping because I had been too stubborn to sit still made me irrationally angry.

"No."

The word came out before I could stop it and Luo Xin nodded, a look of determination on his face. "I agree," he said. Just those two words but they made me both relieved and scared at the same time.

I wasn’t ’spider’ terrified... but I didn’t like the idea of pain either.

"Fix it," I announced and I could feel the eyes of every man in that room on me.

Luo Xin’s expression became complicated, like he didn’t know how to tell me what came next. But he didn’t need to tell me. I already knew that whatever was going on in his mind wasn’t a good thing.

"Why are you making that face?" I asked, wanting him to put into words whatever he was thinking about at this exact second.

The only problem was he just clamped his mouth shut more.

I looked from Luo Xin to Yuche. Then to Chenghai. Then to Zhenlan. Every single one of them suddenly looked uncomfortable and even Lingyun had stopped smiling.

The cold feeling in my stomach returned. "What aren’t you telling me?"

Luo Xin exhaled slowly. "To fix it properly, I need to break it again before I can heal it properly."

The room exploded like a bomb I didn’t know was about to go off.

"No."

The word came from Yuche so fast it overlapped with Chenghai’s.

Commander Li straightened.

Zhenlan’s expression darkened.

Even Lingyun looked horrified.

I looked around the room, taking in everyone’s expression, then I turned back to Luo Xin.

"I told you to fix it," I said, my words so as I never once looked away from the medic’s face.

Luo Xin nodded in agreement. "And you are telling me that to fix it, you need to break what is already healed."

Once again, the other man nodded his head. I heard Yuche make a sound from somewhere nearby, I heard Lingyun answering with a sound of his own. But I never looked away from Luo Xin.

"Okay."

That was it. There was nothing more that I needed to say. I leaned back against the couch and closed my eyes.

But even as I said the word, the room around me exploded even more. Men stated to talk over each other until I couldn’t tell who was saying what. Surprisingly, it was Zhenlan’s voice that I heard more than anyone else’s... his tone telling me he wasn’t happy about this.

Well...

Join the club.

The pain was going to be horrible.

The recovery was going to be worse.

But the alternative was spending the rest of my life walking crooked because I had prioritized murder over medical treatment.

That felt like exactly the kind of mistake future me would complain about.

I opened my eyes again.

"It’s decided. None of you get a say."

It was harsh but true.

This was my body. My choice. My consequences.

I should have fought better against the Devourer. I should have let my body be healed before I worried about a house with a cracked ceiling, or a man who burned down my front yard, or a woman that has been tailing after me for two lifetimes thinking that I owed her something for merely existing.

This was what happened when you made bad decisions. So now... I was going to deal with the pain, be good enough that I healed properly.

And then destroy everything that put me in this position in the first place.

Yuche immediately turned toward me as I was already thinking about three moves ahead and what I needed to do to find and kill the Devourer.

"No," he snapped, like I was doing this all for fun and games. Fuck him...

I pointed toward the leg. "I need that to survive whatever else the universe decides to throw at me."

"You need rest."

"I need a leg."

"You already have one."

"It is pointing toward Saskatchewan."

Lingyun made a choking sound even as Chenghai looked away. Commander Li suddenly became very interested in the wall and Zhenlan was clenching his jaw so hard that I could hear it from here.

I pointed at the men. "Sit down. Shut up. Or get the hell out of this house and make sure that Meilan doesn’t move from where she is hanging like a rag doll being played by a jungle with teeth."

Luo Xin nodded his head as he rose to his feet. "Get me clean towels."

Lingyun looked at him and cocked his head to the side. "Isn’t that for when she is in labor?" he asked, his voice completely devoid of emotion.

The healer’s eye twitched. "We need to wash her up... even if it is just her leg. We can’t risk breaking the skin and letting the wound get infected. Get me towels. Now."

People finally started moving. Zhenlan headed toward the kitchen, maybe for a bowl of water or something? Commander Li disappeared toward the medical supplies even as Chenghai dragged a chair closer to the couch.

Yuche, on the other hand, remained exactly where he was.

I looked up at him, and he looked down at me. "I don’t like this," he said as if either one of us had any choice in the matter.

I reached over and squeezed his hand. "I know," I replied. "I don’t like this either. But we either let the Doc break my leg and properly heal me this time... or I probably won’t survive the next few months."

His fingers tightened around mine even as his mouth turned into a flat line. "You’ll survive just fine," he announced like it was already a done deal. "You have snacks, a sectional, and I will make sure that you have every movie known to man to watch while you. Do. Not. Move. from the couch."

I opened my mouth, not knowing how to reply to that. But, before I could figure it out, Luo Xin returned carrying enough supplies to make me deeply suspicious.

I looked at the towels.

Then the splints.

Then the healing cores.

Then back at Luo Xin.

"Question for you."

"What?"

"How hard can I hit you afterward?"

Luo Xin sighed at my question even as Lingyun started laughing.

"I’ll get you some snacks for later," was the only thing the healer could say to that.