If I die, who in this world would shed a single tear for me? Perhaps Shang Xinlei would, only to realize she doesn’t even know what I look like.

But Yan Qing has no reason to complain; this is the path he chose, and he proudly and gladly embraces this solitude.

He also knows that these people like his alternate persona, which has nothing to do with his main self. Behind the chivalry of Rabbit Heroine, the loyalty of Mouse Monk, and the arrogance of Jiang Shi, there is just a timid soul. It’s like how the heroine in a gal game likes only the hero’s gentleness, kindness, and bravery, which has nothing to do with the player.

So when Pharmacist’s Wish comes close, he behaves like a cat or dog reacting to a threat, baring teeth and claws. He doesn’t feel he connects with Pharmacist’s Wish, and what he fears even more is... that they would become friends because of Rabbit Heroine.

Friends in reality are different from those in games. If Rabbit Heroine fails to protect Pharmacist’s Wish, Yan Qing would feel sad for a while but then come to terms with it; after all, he gave it his all. But if Shang Xinlei were in danger, could he just send an alternate and then feel at ease, having done his best, feeling justified?

In a past life, it was debated that those who live forever would surely become indifferent to the lives and deaths of those around them. Yan Qing doesn’t know if he will turn out this way in the future, but he knows he isn’t truly cold-blooded now.

If his previous ’evil’ was to protect himself from being bullied, his current ’evil’ is to drive others away from himself.

Yan Qing repeatedly tells himself that he is a stray soul of this world, unknown to anyone, needed by no one. Therefore, he must value himself more than anyone else, care for himself, and not squander his life easily... because no one will shed tears for him.

However, a hedgehog is most vulnerable when exposing its soft underbelly, which is why Yan Qing fears Pharmacist’s Wish so much... Over many days in the game, Yan Qing has seen her courage, her dignity, her pride, her compassion... How could Yan Qing not like this fallen Commandery Princess with clear likes and dislikes?

Even though this liking is superficial, childish, similar to liking Lin Yue’ru from "The Legend of Sword and Fairy," Sister Si from "Black Myth: Wukong," Selena from "The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim," saber from "Fate," liking is liking, without any deceit.

If there were no more intersections in reality, this feeling would fade into a beautiful impression in Yan Qing’s mind, as after all, games are games and rarely truly unforgettable. But Pharmacist’s Wish just appears so vividly in front of him, so strong yet so fragile, her eyes filled with reluctance and pleading... So he can only behave like a curled-up hedgehog, cruelly piercing her fantasy.

Firstly, Yan Qing never voiced the most likely scenario: within a year, his character slots would be full, and he would have to delete Rabbit Heroine to make room, since neither Pharmacist’s Wish nor he are likely to reach Foundation Establishment within a year. Given Rabbit Heroine’s already doomed end, Yan Qing couldn’t bring himself to exploit her to get close to Pharmacist’s Wish; it would be too contemptible.

Secondly, Pharmacist’s Wish had long denied his style of gameplay; they were destined not to be congenial. Even if they became friends, sooner or later Pharmacist’s Wish would see through his cruelty.

His rules for the game won’t change for anyone, nor does he wish to be changed by others. Rather than potentially despising each other in the future, it’s better to leave this beautiful impression only within the game.