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... e: losing battles, losing friends, losing your favorite spoon to the garbage disposal. But watching your ex-wife get paraded around the royal gardens by her new lover—Sir Blayzeon the Unreasonably Handsome—while a bard sings a love ballad she wrote herself? That’s emotional manslaughter.

I stood there in the shadow of the royal citrus trees, holding a tray of crab puffs and pretending I hadn’t just overheard her refer to him as "her emotionally literate gallant." I choked on a puff. The ...

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