Aselia’s POV

That one word ablaze the very blood that coursed through my veins, taking along the pain that made every bit of my existence excruciatingly ache.

So not only she took advantage of his innocence, she rap*d him when he was still underage. Why was she still breathing? The clutch I was holding slipped from my hand and cluttered to the floor.

"Seventeen? You are telling me you were a kid when she did what she did," I asked with clenched teeth, it was like I could sense his emotions. He was watching me with a guarded expression, not trying to reveal more than he had to.

"Aselia, I told you I was innocent like you. The only woman I had known until that time was my mother and I thought all women were like her, gentle and caring. I had left my house with Rivan and everything was new for me. We met Cybile in a club and she instantly took a liking for me and I was mesmerized by her beauty. It was fun in the beginning and I did everything she said. But then at times, it would become a bit much for me to handle, so she started using her powers on me."

My heart screamed in pain at his words, if he was saying a bit much that meant it was something unfathomable for I had seen him endure pain.

"What did she do to you?" I lamented and he tried to hug me instead of answering my question, his beautiful features were pained and I hated seeing him in pain.

"NO, don’t comfort me, fu*k this, let me feel this pain as you have felt. Just tell me what she did," the tumultuous emotions in his eyes told me he won’t reveal what she did. There was a raging storm inside me as a lone tear escaped my eye, he was quick to wipe it. I kept asking questions:

"Why didn’t you erase her memories? Why did she still remember you? How did you escape her?"

"It took me years, but I finally became strong enough to escape her and tell her I was done, Rivan helped me as well but I couldn’t erase her memories, my powers were still no match for her, until now. She can’t harm us anymore, her powers don’t work on me now."

He offered me a small smile hoping to obliterate the storm which was bubbling inside me, I couldn’t help but ask:

"How come you don’t hate women after that horrible experience? How have you been with so many more?"

"She was the only one who treated me like that and I am not fully innocent. I kept going back to her, thinking at times I deserved what happened to me, sometimes I just enjoyed pain, which helped me forget the reality of my wretched life. I thought I didn’t deserve love," my insides writhed in agony his words carried, and my hands began to tremble at the revelations he was making, he paused and took my face in his hands, putting a stray lock behind my ear so gently, before continuing:

"Cybile taught me a lot, she helped me mold into the man I am today. I learnt from this experience that everyone deserved to have a choice. That’s the reason I always give everyone a choice, even my enemies. I always warn before choosing violence. Every girl who came into my life did that of her own accord. If anyone wanted to leave, I never stopped them."

The mere thought of him considering this to be something he deserved made me want to scream at him. Tears freely flowed from my eyes and he kept wiping them with his palms.

"But she destroyed that part of my heart that wanted to love someone, that wanted to own someone and make them mine, to open my heart to someone, this was all merely reduced to lust. Of course, fear of my father finding out the person I loved acted as a catalyst as well."

He paused again and smiled at me, the torments in his eyes subsided a fraction as he whispered:

"Until you, I don’t know what you did, when you did, or how you did it. You just took a permanent abode in my heart without me knowing it, making it the first time that I didn’t want someone to leave me."

His words didn’t calm the tempest that was wrecking my insides, they fuelled it for I understood why he kept loving me even after everything I did to him. He didn’t deem himself worthy to be loved, his father had broken him, Cybile had broken him and then I came along and broke him too.

I understood his fears to keep me safe for there were so many people who wanted to tear him apart. This broke me, how could I ever be cruel to him after everything he has been through I was sure this was only the tip of the iceberg of what he was made to suffer.

"Xiran...." his name got choked in my throat, "I am sorry we all hurt you, it’s us who don’t deserve your love not the other way around. You deserve so much better."

I couldn’t bear to be away from him any longer, moving forward I buried myself in his waiting arms and hid away in his chest. Smudging his coat with my tears and makeup. How was he still so calm after all this?

"Shhhh, it’s ok. Don’t cry, I wanted to keep you away from my mess but seems like my past has no plans of remaining in the past. Now I wish I had made better choices, forgive me for my past actions have hurt you," he shifted me into his lap and I snuggled close to him, not wanting to speak just wanting to feel him close.

His whole being covered me like snowfall enveloping the ground, making it white, pure white. I did not want to ever let go of him, for he was mine and he made me whole.