Xiran’s POV

I entered her room and she was sitting on the floor, her head resting on the bed between her arms. Her white dress made her look almost etheral today. How I wanted to take her in my arms but I resisted all the urges.

I wanted her to feel jealous today, the way she tried to make me jealous. I wanted her to feel how words and actions hurt others. She needed to have this lesson, she needed to learn and she needed to start trusting me.

"Aselia..." I called out to her, and she gradually lifted her head and gaped at me. There were no tears in her eyes, instead, they harboured hatred, extreme hatred, and revulsion for me.

"What?" She snapped at me, her gaze penetrated and chilled my heart.

"I wasn’t going to sleep with her. It was a joke, like yours from yesterday." I tried to explain why I did, what I did.

"Why are you telling me? Am I supposed to do something with this information?" She spatted at me as I sat down beside her. Her smell reeked of alcohol today, she had been drinking in the bar. Seemed like she was more affected than I had anticipated her to be.

"Yes, you need to realize you hurt me deeply by implying all I seek is s£x from women." I extended my hand to touch her face and she instantly backed away from my it.

"Don’t ever touch me again with your filthy hands, and yes that’s all you seek from women. You are free to seek it from whomever you wish, except me. I give a rat’s a&&, what you do and whom you do it with." Her words went straight and cut deep into my heart, the hurt she caused was evident on my face as I looked at her in disbelief.

I collected myself before speaking to her, hoping my voice won’t tremble: "That’s not what I seek from you."

Her face showed revulsion, her gesture held contempt and her voice scorned me: "I don’t care, I seriously don’t care about someone so insecure that he can’t handle a small joke, who is so orthodox that he needed to humiliate me to feel better, who is so conservative in his approach that he couldn’t see his friend was trying to make me feel better. Seriously, I feel sad for you and your small brain. Grow up."

I almost gasped at her words, so much animosity and hate she held for me. I wasn’t trying to humiliate her, I just ignored her and gave a little bit of my attention to someone else. I felt angry at her. How could she talk to me like that?

"So, it’s acceptable for you to trample all over my heart but you act this way if I talk to someone else. You won’t accept me and yet you judge me?" My anger flared up and I almost shouted at her. Her expression didn’t change nor she looked fazed by my anger. She just sat there, protectively hugging herself, dim light illuminated her face which was crimson with anger and animosity she held.

"Firstly, I didn’t ask for your heart. I told you no intimacy on the very first day we met. Secondly, it was you who chose to change your lifestyle, neither I asked you to change it nor I forced you to love me. So quit mansplaining and keep your heart to yourself from now on. And you weren’t talking to her, you purposely invited her to make me jealous and hurt me. Well, congratulations you succeeded in hurting me. But I swear this is the last time you will do it." She glared at me with those words, her head held high, her stance revealing she didn’t care about me, not anymore.

What had I done? I had no clue she would be this affected, she was quiet at the party. I was waiting for her to speak her mind and give her snarky remarks but she chose to stay silent. Even Rivan told me I had gone too far this time. Had I? How was I going to fix this?

I tried to take her in my arms but she moved further away not letting me touch her. The tension between us was reaching its peak and I could feel one of us breaking. The silence between us dragged on and I could feel that I was about to lose her today.

"Aselia... Hurting you was not my intention." I finally spoke, hoping she would believe me.

"It was, you wanted me to feel hurt and pain. You wanted retribution for what I had put you through, although it was never my agenda to hurt you. And I told you repeatedly that I couldn’t give you what you desired." She got up with those words and moved to the other side of the bed, she stood there and looked at me without blinking, her facial expressions were deadpan as she spoke:

"Leave, I don’t want you in my room. Not now, not ever. I can’t stand you anymore. And take your heart with you, give it to someone else, I don’t need it."

~ bang ~

That was the sound of my heart breaking, her words pierced my entirety like whetted knives, plunging deep into my soul, tormenting it, annihilating it and demolishing it completely.

I had only felt similar emotional pain once before and that was when my mother died. I stared at her helplessly, as her words sunk in and destroyed me.

I wanted to say so much but my voice was hitched in my throat, no sound came out.

I had never seen so much revlusion in her eyes. The eyes that used to hold so much care for me, how could I forget the way she looked at me when I kissed her.

But I understood why she said what she said. She was afraid of getting heartbroken and today I proved to her that she couldn’t trust me with her heart.