"...E-Esther?" I look at Esther, who’s holding me in her lap, clutching me tightly against her.

"What was that?" She asks as I slowly regain my motor functions; I wrap my arms around her neck.

"Jealous?" I say to her, who is obviously jealous of my mother. Though, I have to say, my mom did an amazing job; my tail is still just as sensitive as always.

But she moves elegantly and smoothly, shifting with my body to avoid touching anything or stirring the air, completely shielding herself from any extreme sensations.

"..."

"I’m not telling you anything." I say, giving her cheek a little kiss.

"...So vindictive. You’ve really become way too vindictive, Evelyn." She carries me out of the room.

"W-What are you doing?"

"Taking you on a date to a secret place here in the castle. I bet you’ve never even been there." She says, carrying me without an ounce of shame. I feel embarrassed walking through the hallways with my tail exposed after what my mother said about it.

"Evelyn, did you... like whatever happened back there?"

"Being jealous of my mother is a really bad look on you! But yes, I did like it! I feel so much... lighter." I feel genuinely better, as if a small weight has been lifted off me. I guess I can consider that a therapeutic massage that relieved days of built-up stress.

"You shouldn’t enjoy another woman’s touch that isn’t mine." She opens a secret passage behind a painting inside her old room here in the castle, carrying me inside and through a dark space.

"Is that so?... Esther, shouldn’t you be doing my job right now?"

"I already finished everything for today, so don’t change the subject, Evelyn." She opens another secret door by pulling a brick from the wall, and then starts moving forward. In the dim darkness, the red glow of her eyes is kind of unsettling.

"...Evelyn, are you happy with me?" For the first time in her entire life, Esther asks something she’s never asked before. She’s asked similar things in different ways, but this is the first time she’s been this direct with me.

"Yes, I love you and I’m happy..." I give her a small smile.

"...I’m happy to have you with me too... it’s just complicated, we have a difficult relationship." She murmurs, opening the passageway, leading us into a kind of glass dome.

Inside the dome, the floor is a lawn of pale green grass, with roses scattered throughout. The place has an intense smell of blood.

"What is this place?"

"I had it built in the past. I planned to bury the crown here. When I was younger, I thought it would be cool symbolism—to bury a crown, representing that even though I was the Queen, I didn’t need a crown, because I didn’t want to command lives, but rather take all lives."

"...But you took the throne from me, a rather unpleasant irony that shattered my old plans..." She lays me down on the ground, lying on top of me so our chests press against each other.

"Evelyn... be honest with me... are you happy? If you lie to me again, I’ll become... dangerous. We’re isolated, the shadows aren’t here to stop me. So tell me the answer to my question honestly."

"..."

"No."

"Do you love me?"

"Yes."

"Are you afraid of me?"

"...A little..."

"You know you’re ruining my life, don’t you?"

"...I know, I know that very well..."

"Then Evelyn, just tell me, do you really not care about that fact?"

"I don’t care. I can’t bring myself to care about it..."

"And why, Evelyn? Why don’t you care? You could have chosen better, and you know that, don’t you?"

"I know..."

"Haaa..." She kisses me, pulling me into a tight hug as I hug her back, accepting her kiss.

"Evelyn, it’s my fault, isn’t it?" She asks after breaking the kiss.

"It’s all my fault that you’re this confused, kind of broken girl... tell me when it started."

’...’ I think about the past, the memories of our childhood, the memories I had forgotten, the memories I only recently recovered. One specific memory comes to mind, from when we were both 14 years old.

...

...

...

"Evelyn, what do you want from me?" Esther asks me. She’s sitting on a white chair under a parasol, drinking a cup of coffee with five sugar cubes in it.

"I-I... I’m not sure..."

"You look scared, more than you should be for someone who invaded my break time. But that doesn’t matter, I guess. Sit down." She orders me with that empty look, as if my life had no value.

"..." I sit in the chair across from her, looking down, extremely uncomfortable with the situation.

"Tell me, am I interesting?"

"Huh?" I look at her, confused by her confusing question.

"You stare at me too much. Through the window, in the hallways, when I pass near you, you stare at me with fear and something else. But as far as I remember, I’ve never really done anything significant to you, have I?"

"So Evelyn, be honest. Because I hate liars who think they can fool me. And when the lie is obvious and poorly done, I usually cut the liar’s tongue out. After all, a liar who’s easily discovered doesn’t deserve the gift of being able to lie, don’t you think? So if you’re going to lie, you’d better have a good one."

"I-I... I j-just find you f-fascinating..."

"...?" She looks at me as if she’s evaluating me, while picking up her cup again and drinking from it without taking her eyes off me.

"Oh, is that so? Fascinating? And what about you is fascinating?" She asks me a strange question.

"I-I don’t understand?"

"You said I’m fascinating, Evelyn. But you’re here, wasting my time. So tell me, what about you could be considered fascinating enough for you to have the audacity to look me in the eyes and ask questions?"

"...S-Sorry." I lower my gaze to the table, trembling in discomfort. I can feel her eyes on me, and something about it is still strangely captivating. I feel like I know Esther in some different way.

"Apologies, huh? An apology from a coward isn’t really very valuable. If an apology is your answer, then I think we already know your worth here."

"...I-I’m so sorry." I get up to leave.

"Did I tell you to leave?"

"...N-No..."

"Then don’t leave. I still have questions. After all, your irrational fear of me is at least a curious puzzle. And I’m bored."

"Your honesty is also pleasant. So Evelyn, let’s do a test. If I gave you a good amount of money right now, would you take a little boat and leave the continent? Sailing across the ocean in a pathetic attempt to start a new life?"

"N-No..."

"And if I said that if you don’t leave the continent on a little boat right now, I’ll torture you and take your life, would you leave or stay?"

"...I-I need to stay... a-and..." I start crying out of fear.

"...Urgh, I hate the sound of your crying. It makes you look even more pathetic than you already are. Get out of here. The day you become interesting, I’ll summon you to be honest with me, Evelyn. Until then, never appear in front of me again."

"Continue being the pathetic coward who just watches from afar. And next time you’re running from the pathetic servants who bully you, don’t come into my garden. I don’t like dirty rats staining this place."

...

...

...

"Esther, when we were 14, you called me a dirty rat, pathetic, and said I had nothing interesting about me, while I said you were fascinating."

"You made me cry... ironic, isn’t it? Now, Esther, am I fascinating to you? Enough for you to ask me for honesty?"

"...Yes, Evelyn, you are fascinating." She deeply inhales the scent of my neck, running her tongue along my neck, my jaw, until she reaches a kiss on my lips.

"Esther... I’m not fascinating. I’m the same fragile girl who cries easily. The only difference is that now I love you, and you love me... but your love is unbreakable."

"And my love is brittle. It’s cracking, slowly but steadily, breaking, and breaking, but never disappearing. Like a vase, that gets broken and glued back together again. Never the same, but always there."

"My jealousy and your obsession are the glue that keeps sticking this broken vase back together... but this vase gets uglier every time it’s reconstructed... Esther, tell me."

"Would you give me money and throw me onto a little boat in the sea to sail far away from you?"

"Never."

"...So you’ll never be able to throw away this ugly vase. But this ugly vase will hold more and more cracks and resentment towards you as you break it."

"Love is ironic, isn’t it? Do you remember that day? When we were 14 and I called you fascinating?"

"...A little, but I don’t remember everything."

"Esther, can I change the answer I gave you 5 years ago?"

"Of course."

"I was wrong. You’re not fascinating, Esther. You’re simple... and that’s why we’re a couple today. You weren’t fascinating back then. You were like me. I didn’t have to rise to your level, just make you fall to mine to show you reality."

"You were arrogant, and your arrogance made you accept a reality that wasn’t yours. Neither you, nor me, neither of us is fascinating. We’re like water. Important, but also nothing special."

"So tell me, Esther, what’s it like being simple? What’s it like being dragged down? Are you happy?" I’d never asked her so directly if she was happy.

"No... I’m... not happy." When she says this, I smile. A genuine smile that makes her furrow her brows.

"Exactly, my love. Neither of us is happy. Love doesn’t bring happiness. It forms a bond that ties us together, that’s all."

"And you turned that bond into a leash. A leash for both of us... So Esther, for us, the question isn’t when will we be happy. It’s when will you lose control and break me again." I give her a kiss.

"You’re so negative, Evelyn. And your negativity is like a black hole that pulls me into your center... you’re a disgusting girl. Like a puddle of mud hiding a bottomless pit."

"Thank you for the compliment. It’s endearing to hear that from you." I say with sarcasm and a genuine pang of truth.

"If we’re at the bottom, then I’ll drag you up." She strokes my back, touching the tip of her nose to mine.

"Drag me up? Then I’ll wait. But I won’t help you. Because I’ve already seen that I can reach the top alone, and the top isn’t pleasant. It’s just the start of a bigger climb."

"So, Esther, I’ll keep pulling you down, okay?"

"As long as you love me, that’s fine by me." She kisses me. My tail curls around her leg, the core that simulates my heart beats faster as I hold her tightly, my nails sinking into her back as I accept her kiss.