Igma;

I have tried to ignore it.

For days now, for the sake of my Father and people, I have tried to bury it beneath meetings, patrol briefings, disputes between clans, supply routes that needed fixing, soldiers that needed discipline and others that needed encouragement.

I have tried painfully to ignore this suffocating feeling in my heart and mind... but I can’t! I have failed woefully at that particular task!!

Howlerroot has never been... better.

That is what they tell me.

They say the kingdom is stronger... More balanced.

I have given the elders the right to speak again. The warriors are heard... The people come forward without fear of punishment for breathing too loudly in the wrong direction.

I gave them that.

Not because I am generous, but because it should have always been that way.

And still... This feeling of unaccomplishment remains.

It started as a discomfort. A quiet awareness that someone important to me was... not right.

Just... in danger.

I dismissed it because Father begged me to. He told me she was fine, and he had the reports to prove it.

I told myself it was distance. Adjustment... The natural strain of separation between two people who had not yet sealed their bond.

But then it grew.

Slowly, it grew into this unbearable monster of weight!

Now, it no longer feels like distance.

It feels like being watched through a cracked door...

Like hearing something break in another room and knowing, without seeing it, that it matters.

I stop walking and let a breath out.

The corridor stretches ahead of me, with sunlight pouring in through the tall stone windows. The sun warms my skin. The warmest summer this snowy kingdom has known in a long time... but somehow, it still feels cold to me.

My hand lifts, resting lightly against my chest as I feel my heart steady but troubled beat.

The pull to Alana is still there.

Steady. Uncomfortable... Wrong.

"...Alana." Her name settles quietly on my tongue. Like a promise I’ve broken.

That causes something inside me to shift.

I can’t do this anymore!

I can’t pretend I’m not dying ting to see her. I can’t act like I’m not breaking apart! I’m tired of being strong! I’m not Howleroot’s Alpha, but I’ve already done so much for them!

It’s unfair to be called selfish because I want to save my mate!!

After all this is over, these people will get Rhydian, their Alpha, back, but what if then it’s too late for me to get Alana!?

I can’t keep this up!!

My legs start marching with that defiance fueling each step, and my fingers curl into tight fists beside me.

The last time I tried this, Father let me go. I was already a day away from Howleroot when a messenger came to me. Father had suddenly fallen ill, and my presence was demanded. To date, I don’t know if he lied about the illness or not, but I do not want to believe that Father would do such a thing.

I nursed him back to health and have stayed put since. I’m devoting and sacrificing myself for this kingdom... and I just can’t anymore.

Alana needs me. And for once in my life, I am going to choose myself over others. Yes, it might be selfish of me, but... maybe selfishness isn’t always bad.

By the time I reach the council chamber, I have already made my decision.

The doors open without resistance as I push them, and chatter settles into silence.

Inside, the elders are already gathered as usual, and so is my father.

They are seated around the long stone table, with papers spread before them, and bodies stuck midmotion. 𝐟𝗿𝐞𝚎𝚠𝐞𝚋𝕟𝐨𝚟𝐞𝕝.𝕔𝕠𝚖

They all turn to me, but there’s no turning back now. I won’t do it.

The moment I step into the room, I can tell Father knows what this is about because his aura shifts.

The other elders bow their heads lightly in reverence I still don’t know how to feel worthy of.

They respect me.

Ever since Alpha Liandria and Rhydian left, that has always been clear.

Not because I demand it, though.

Fathe says it’s because I listen. Because I do not rule over them, but stand with them.

And now... I am about to leave them.

I walk up to the table and don’t take my usual seat. I don’t pretend this is another meeting.

I simply stand where they can all see me and fold my hands behind me.

"I’m leaving."

The words are direct. Clean and final... but silence answers me.

It spreads slowly across the room, heavier than any raised voice could have been.

Silence so thick it bleeds into nostrils, fills your lungs, and settles under your skin.

Father meets my gaze first.

Of course he does.

There is no confusion in his gaze.

Only a quiet kind of understanding that settles far too quickly.

"We’ve had this conversation," he says softly.

His voice is gentle, as it always is. Smooth like honest, and perfect for bending me to will... But not this time.

As much as I love him... Not this time.

I hear the weight beneath his delicate voice. I’m sorry I’m going to break his heart, but I don’t have a choice. I’ve persevered long enough... Haven’t I??

"Yes. I remember." I reply, still staring at Father, and the elders exchange glances.

Uneasy glances. Because they probably remember too.

The first time I brought this to Father, it had been a question.

A request.

The second time, they were there. They, along with Father, told me how much the Kingdom needs me. How I didn’t have to go... especially since Alpha Liandria said she was going to help me.

Since when did they start believing in Alpha Linadria!? The same Alpha with immense hate for Omegas... they told me to trust her to bring my omega back home to me safely.

The hypocrisy made my skin crawl, but there was nothing I could do.

Pushing any further made me seem unempathetic. It made me feel like a vicious person... So, I stayed silent.

But now... Maybe now they can see that I am not about to allow things play out the same way.

The last time, I had asked a question, but now... Now, I didn’t come here to ask.