Help! I Do Not Want to Guide a Disaster
Chapter 51: I’m Grieving
"Xinyuan!"
Kaiwen waved as he approached him.
Xinyuan stood near the shoreline, staring at the rift hovering above the beach. It was small but strange. The rift had been open for hours, yet not a single monster had emerged from it.
So far, researchers and military staff surrounded the area, monitoring signals and fluctuations while trying to determine what exactly was happening.
Kaiwen stopped beside him with a grin. "Seems you’re not doing solo missions today."
Xinyuan nodded, his eyes never leaving the rift. "Yes. The rift is strange, isn’t it?"
"Well, yes," Kaiwen replied, shoving his hands into his pockets. "It’s small, no monsters are coming out, and the energy fluctuations are stable. Maybe it’ll just collapse on its own."
His eyes slid toward Xinyuan and narrowed. "You seem to be doing better."
That finally pulled Xinyuan’s attention away from the rift. "What do you mean?"
Kaiwen looked at him in disbelief. "For the past week after the red zone incident, you and Chenxi have both looked half-dead. Chenxi’s worse though. He still blames himself for not saving Suye, and there’s even talk that he wants to quit."
He paused. "Though I doubt the CEA will allow that."
Xinyuan looked away, his gaze returning to the rift without another word.
Kaiwen scoffed.
"Oh, so this is how we’re playing it?" he muttered. "Xinyuan, you’ve been hanging on by a thread for days. One step away from going berserk. And now suddenly you’re here looking fresh and functional."
He smirked. "You found Wenzhi, didn’t you?"
Xinyuan looked back at him. "Is it that obvious?"
Kaiwen stared at him like he was insane. "You didn’t want it to be obvious?"
Xinyuan parted his lips to reply, then stopped.
His gaze shifted past Kaiwen.
Doctor Bai was approaching from the military barricades, speaking briefly with a few reporters stationed farther away before heading directly toward them.
The moment Xinyuan saw her, his expression tightened.
"Let’s talk later," He started toward the rift.
Kaiwen blinked. "Hey, where are you going? I have news for you."
That made Xinyuan stop.
He turned back. "Is it about Jingxin?"
Kaiwen’s expression darkened. "He’s gone off the grid, Xinyuan."
Xinyuan’s eyes sharpened.
Kaiwen lowered his voice. "I don’t know what happened, but after Wenzhi’s ’death,’ it’s like Shao Jingxin vanished completely. Even my contacts inside Old Blood can’t reach him anymore."
He glanced around carefully before continuing.
"Apparently, the person leading the hunting operation now is an Esper. They call her Commander Wu."
Xinyuan went still.
"I’ll send you whatever information I can get," Kaiwen added quietly.
Xinyuan nodded. "Thank you."
By then, Doctor Bai had already crossed past the military blockade and was approaching them directly.
The moment Kaiwen noticed her, he understood he was no longer welcome.
"Oh, Doctor Bai," he said quickly with an awkward smile. "Pleasant seeing you."
She smiled politely. While Kaiwen excused himself.
The second he left, Doctor Bai turned toward Xinyuan.
"Why have you been avoiding me?" she asked sharply.
"I’ve been busy," Xinyuan replied calmly. "There have been many missions."
Doctor Bai let out a frustrated breath, clearly restraining herself from snapping.
"I’m aware of how busy you’ve been," she said. "I’ve been trying to speak with you for days. Even yesterday, I came to your mission site but you disappeared before I could reach you."
She stepped closer. "You need to return to the research facility."
Xinyuan’s hands curled at his sides.
"There are already rumors spreading everywhere that you’re close to a berserk state."
"I’m perfectly fine," Xinyuan replied. "Do I not look fine?"
Doctor Bai stared at him intently.
The last time she’d seen him from a distance, he didn’t look anywhere near fine. Even the pictures her contacts sent back told the same story.
But now, he looked.... okay.
"It wouldn’t hurt to check your status anyway," she said firmly. "You promised me, remember?"
Her voice softened. "You said you wanted to stay out of the facility, and I agreed because you were grieving your guide. But you promised regular evaluations. You haven’t even restocked your suppression medication."
Xinyuan’s jaw tightened. "I’m fine. I—"
"No," Doctor Bai cut in sharply. "You cannot keep avoiding me, Shao Xinyuan. You cannot keep going against medical supervision."
Her eyes narrowed. "Are you acting out because of Lin Wenzhi?"
Xinyuan’s fists tightened.
"You said it yourself," he said quietly. "I’m grieving."
Doctor Bai scoffed and pressed her fingers against her forehead. "Okay. Fine. Then you’re coming with me right now."
Xinyuan bit down on his lower lip. "Doctor..."
"Doctor?" Doctor Bai snapped sharply, making Xinyuan flinch. "That guide is long dead, and you’re still acting this defiant? So much that you’re calling me doctor now?"
Xinyuan lowered his head. "Mother. I’m sorry."
"You’re not sorry." Her expression darkened. "All those years of conditioning wasted because of one guide. I gave you freedom, and now you’re acting as though you own your life."
Xinyuan stayed silent.
Doctor Bai stepped closer. "I still control you, Shao Xinyuan. But you’re slipping out of my hands because of him. If Lin Wenzhi had never entered your life, you would not be ruining years of my work."
Xinyuan’s fists clenched harder.
"You have twenty-four hours before you return to the facility," she continued coldly. "Then we’ll decide whether to put you back to sleep or proceed with the memory wipe."
At that, Xinyuan’s head snapped up, his eyes widening. "No."
"No?" Doctor Bai echoed sharply. "You don’t have a choice."
The beach wind swept through the silence between them.
"The red zones are evolving. We are receiving more data every day. We cannot afford instability from our strongest Esper."
Her gaze hardened further. "The memory wipe is probably the better option."
Xinyuan stared at her, veins visible beneath the strain of his clenched fists.
Doctor Bai turned and walked away across the sand without another word.
Xinyuan remained standing there for a long time.
Then slowly, dark mist began pouring from his body.
His feet lifted from the ground as the mist wrapped around him like a living storm.
Without another word, Xinyuan entered the rift.