Jordan stood in the middle of his apartment staring at nothing.

His heart pounded against his ribs like it was trying to break free and run back to Unit 403.

"I’m such an asshole," he said to the empty room.

The words hung in the air. No one responded because of course no one responded. He was alone in his clean apartment that still smelled like Fabuloso and regret.

Jordan’s hand came up and smacked his forehead hard enough to sting.

"Stupid!"

Another smack.

"Stupid!"

A third for good measure.

"Stupid!"

His palm hurt now but the pain felt appropriate. Deserved.

Three women. Three kids. Twenty million dollars.

What kind of psychotic inheritance condition was that? What kind of delusional rich family fantasy bullshit had just come out of his mouth?

Jordan paced the length of his living room. The concrete floor was cold under his bare feet because he’d left his shoes at Chloe’s and only grabbed his shirt before retreating like a coward.

He was literally wearing borrowed joggers from Chloe’s ex-boyfriend. The irony would be funny if it wasn’t so pathetic.

"Who makes up that kind of lie?" Jordan asked his reflection in the dark window. "What am I, the protagonist of some Korean manhwa where rich families have ridiculous conditions attached to their inheritances?"

The reflection had no answers. Just his own dumb face staring back at him.

His brain replayed the entire disaster in excruciating detail.

First, Cassie had called. His perfect older sister with her perfect black bob and her perfect ability to make him feel like an idiot just by existing. She’d taken one look at Chloe on the screen and immediately knew what they’d been doing. Of course she knew. Cassie always knew.

Then Chloe had called herself his girlfriend. Just said it like it was obvious. Like they’d discussed it beforehand instead of Jordan being a complete disaster who couldn’t ask for what he wanted without choking on his own tongue.

His chest had gone warm when she said it. Actually warm, like someone had lit a candle behind his sternum.

Then his stupid mouth had opened and the three wives thing had fallen out.

Why?

Why had he said that?

Jordan dropped onto his couch and pressed his palms against his eyes until he saw stars.

The System. That’s why.

The stupid golden interface with its attraction percentages and its cashback rates and its slots that locked permanently once you registered a girl.

Two slots. Only two.

His brain had panicked when Chloe called herself his girlfriend because the System made everything feel like a video game with limited resources. You couldn’t romance everyone. You had to pick your party members carefully.

Except real life wasn’t a video game and Chloe wasn’t an NPC and he’d just told her she’d have to share him with two other women if she wanted to stay together.

"I’m going to die alone," Jordan announced to his apartment. "I’m going to die a virgin who had sex once before scaring away the only girl who’s ever looked at me like I was worth something."

Wait.

He wasn’t a virgin anymore.

The realization hit him sideways. He’d lost his virginity approximately two hours ago to Chloe Kim in her bed with the white sheets and the blue streak in her hair catching the light from her nightstand lamp.

She’d been on top of him. Then he’d been on top of her. Then things had gotten blurry and intense and he’d said some truly unhinged things about breeding that he was going to think about for the rest of his natural life.

But the point was: not a virgin.

Jordan laughed. The sound came out slightly unhinged.

"Losing your virginity really does make you a new man," he muttered. "A new man who immediately lies to his girlfriend about having a harem inheritance condition."

His phone sat on the couch cushion next to him. The screen was dark but he could see notification badges through the lock screen.

Seventeen notifications.

All from the System.

Jordan picked up the phone like it might explode. His thumb hovered over the screen.

Did he want to know what the System had to say about tonight? About Chloe? About the fact that he’d just had sex for the first time and then proceeded to ruin everything with his mouth?

His thumb pressed down.

The screen lit up gold.

🎊 ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED 🎊

First Kiss (Special)

Reward: +5 Quest Tickets

Jordan blinked at the notification. First kiss. The System had been tracking that.

Of course it had been tracking that. The System tracked everything.

He swiped to the next notification.

✨ MILESTONE REACHED ✨

Chloe Kim: 50% Chemistry!

You’ve broken even! All future spending profits!

Reward: +5 Quest Tickets

Current Rebate Rate: 1.00x

Fifty percent. They’d hit fifty percent chemistry. When had that happened? During the shower? During dinner? During one of the seventeen times they’d kissed on her couch?

His finger moved to the next notification before his brain could catch up.

🎊 ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED 🎊

Virginity Lost (Legendary)

Reward: +15 Quest Tickets

Bonus: Stamina permanently increased

Jordan stared at the word "legendary" for a full ten seconds.

His virginity loss was classified as legendary.

The System had given him a rarity ranking for losing his virginity.

"This is the weirdest day of my entire life," he said to no one.

Another swipe.

🔥 ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED 🔥

Creampie Completion (Rare)

Reward: +10 Quest Tickets

Note: Ceaseless Discharge trait synergy detected

Jordan’s face went hot. The System had an achievement for that. Of course it had an achievement for that.

The note about his bronze trait made him want to throw his phone across the room. The Ceaseless Discharge ability had activated during sex and turned what should have been a normal finish into something that required an entire package of baby wipes and a complete sheet change.

Chloe had been shocked. Then impressed. Then slightly concerned about the logistics.

Jordan had wanted to die.

Another notification waited.

🎊 ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED 🎊

First Oral (Giving)

Reward: +7 Quest Tickets

His brain conjured the image of Chloe in the shower with her head thrown back and her hands twisted in his hair and her voice going high and breathless when she came.

Jordan’s body responded immediately to the memory. The borrowed joggers got uncomfortable.

"Focus," he told himself. "Stop thinking about her legs shaking."

Her legs had definitely been shaking. She’d said she couldn’t feel them. That had to count for something.

Next notification.

🎊 ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED 🎊

First Oral (Receiving)

Reward: +7 Quest Tickets

Jordan remembered Chloe between his legs with her dark eyes looking up at him and her mouth doing things that made his entire nervous system short-circuit.

She’d been surprised by how much he came. So had he. The bronze trait had activated then too.

The memory made his face burn hotter.