Knot me on ice, Captain(BL)
Chapter 189: Saving Soren Papanikos
Kayden
I sat beside Soren on the ground and placed a hand on his shoulder. "Hey," I gently called as I squeezed his shoulder. "I don’t know what happened to you, but I am glad that I found you because you don’t deserve to end your life so soon."
Soren let out a scoff while rubbing his puffy eyes. "My family doesn’t think like that. You might have seen me performing on ice," he chuckled bitterly. "But that’s all there is to it. On the ice, I perform so well just to gain my family’s favor and their attention, but all of that doesn’t mean anything to them because at the end of the day, I will always be the odd one out in my family."
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. The Papanikos were a legendary family of figure skaters, and they had started the foundation of figure skating way back in history.
Everyone in the world knew about the Papanikos. Unlike the Calders, who were well known as one of the founding fathers of northern avalanche team only, the Papanikos were known as one of the pioneers of figure skating, and every member of the family who had gone into figure skating had records that spanned into history.
Soren was the one currently leading the history of the Papanikos. He was the best, second only to Rio Takahashi who was his rival but he was still incredibly good and artistic.
He deserved to be worshipped by his family for carrying their legacy, so I still couldn’t understand how or why he was treated like that.
"But you are doing so well on the ice, so what makes you..."
Soren sniffled, wiping the tears that wouldn’t stop streaming down his face. He wiped them off and inhaled deeply. "I have a secret," he said, smacking his lap. "I, uhm..." He rubbed his forehead. "I can’t say what the secret is because..."
"It’s okay. We all have secrets. I have one too, but no matter what is happening with you, ending your life isn’t always the way out of it. I know it feels like the pain will never stop, like the weight is crushing you and there’s no light left, but I promise you — it doesn’t stay this dark forever. I’ve seen people come back from places that felt impossible."
Soren raised his glassy eyes to meet mine. "You don’t understand. They don’t regard me as anything. To them, I am someone who is not supposed to exist! I... I am frustrated. Life doesn’t get better no matter what I do and the only person..." He paused, inhaling deeply. "The only person I trust and love is just the same as them."
I gave him a questioning look, waiting to hear him emphasize who he was talking about, but when he didn’t say anything, I realized that he didn’t want me to know.
Instead I squeezed his hand a little tighter and kept my voice soft. "I hear you, Soren. I hear how heavy it all feels right now. When the people who are supposed to love you the most make you feel invisible, it can make the whole world feel like it’s against you. It can make you believe that disappearing would be easier than waking up another day carrying all of this. But listen to me — those thoughts are lying to you. Your life matters, even when it doesn’t feel like it does. There are still people out there who would be devastated if you were gone, even if they haven’t shown it yet. And the ones who hurt you? Their opinion doesn’t decide whether you stay or go."
I took his hand as I stood up, pulling him up along with me. "I know you are hurting, Soren, but like I said earlier, taking your life is not the way. I know you said your family hates you, but I am sure there will still be one person who would mourn you if you were gone. They wouldn’t want you to end your life just like that. Your fans care about you, and I know it will get better. And even though it might take time, I am sure one day you’ll stand in front of your family and pour out your mind. You don’t have to fight this alone anymore. If you let me, I’ll stay right here with you until it starts feeling a little less impossible."
Soren scoffed. "They don’t care. They never did," he sighed and turned back to stare at the horizon. "I never thought I would meet anyone here. This place is secluded. I had hoped I would just jump and be found and announced dead, but then I saw you..." He looked at me.
"I thought you would be an ordinary person. Who knew that you’d be a world-class star."
I said nothing and just stared at him, watching as he sighed over and over again.
Just then, my phone started ringing, and I excused myself, letting go of his hand as I pulled out my phone from my pocket. On the screen was Rhys’s name, saved with a heart emoji.
I looked at Soren, who gave me a questioning look. "I, uhm... wait..." I raised a hand toward him as I picked up the call. "Hello, Rhys."
Soren raised his brows, then he chuckled, looking back at the horizon.
"Hi, Kayden," Rhys responded, groaning and yawning from the other side of the line.
"You sound tired."
"I am tired," he said, yawning again. "We just finished the media tour and, goodness, so many fans came. It took all the strongest bodyguards to put them in order."
I chuckled. "Glad that both of us are having a bad day."
"Did Linda say anything bad to you? I need to know now..."
"Where are you?" I asked him instead, deflecting the question.
Now wasn’t the time to talk about my experience with Linda. She had already ruined my day, and I didn’t want to dwell on it.
"I am heading home right now. Where are you?"
"Uhm..." I looked around, my eyes landing on Soren, who hadn’t taken his eyes off the horizon. "I’m out of town, but I will be returning now that you are going back home."
"I’ll be waiting," Rhys yawned again. "And we will be talking about what that vile woman did to you."
"Right. See you soon."
"You too," I responded and ended the call, then turned back to Soren. "So..."
"Rhys Calder, huh?"
I gave him a questioning look, trying to figure out what he meant by that. "I..."
"I know both of you are in love. It’s all over the news now, and moreover, both of you trend every weekend on sports news, so it’s not difficult to find out."
I sighed and ran a hand through my hair. "True."
"You love him?"
I nodded.
"He loves you too?"
"Yes," I answered. "What are you driving at, by the way?"
Soren took a step towards me. "Nothing. I am just jealous of how perfect your life is."
"Believe me. My life is far from perfect. It’s not something you would ever wish for, and..."
"Then," Soren took my hand, "now that I am here, let me see your world, and maybe I might consider not taking my life."
My eyes widened in shock at his statement. "Wha... don’t you have a practice to..."
"The practice can wait. I had planned on watching your final games before the whole thing. Now that I am here, I would love to see what your world is about."
"I..." I tried to explain to him that my world was messy, but he looked like he was opening up, and leaving him all alone there on the bridge, I couldn’t help but imagine what he would do, so I agreed. "Fine. But if we are doing this, we have to make a deal."
Soren frowned. "I hate deals, but indulge me. What is it?"
"If you are going to experience my world, it will be until the finals end. There will be no suicidal thoughts around me, and also..." I grabbed his hand into a handshake. "You will call your coach, manager, or a friend to tell them that you are taking a break, in case we are seen together. The last thing we both want is to have scandals. And Soren... if those thoughts come back while we’re together, you tell me. You don’t have to carry them by yourself. Okay?"
Soren nodded in response. "Deal. Let’s do this. It was nice to meet you, Kayden Vale."
"Likewise," I shook his hand again, smiling brightly at him.