SONIA’S POV

I barely slept the entire night. I was awake, alone with my thoughts, the heavy silence of the room pressing in on me like a weight.

When the first light of the day eventually came, filtering through the heavy curtains in soft golden beams, I was entirely exhausted.

I closed my eyes, ready to catch whatever sleep I could. But all I could see were images of Ramon floating in my head—his intense gaze, the way his hands had felt on my skin by the stream, the low rumble of his voice when he whispered my name.

I couldn’t understand why I kept on thinking about him. My soul was supposed to be at rest, right? I was supposed to be happy after such a long time. After all, I was finally back home.

However, it wasn’t the way I envisioned. My treacherous body craved him desperately. I wanted to cling on to him. To hold him, and scream with pleasure, as he made me feel like I was soaring above water.

’’Sonia, stop it!’’ I chide myself instantly, my cheeks burning as I rolled over in the massive bed.

I had gone crazy. I was behaving like someone who had lost their damn mind. At this rate, I was never going to get a clear head, since I couldn’t stop thinking about him.

’’Oh Sonia,’’ I sighed, and rolled around in my bed, the soft mattress dipping under my weight.

My big comfortable bed. Nothing like the scraps I had to make use of in bloodmoon. My luxurious room. With everything a woman could ever dream of—the heavy velvet drapes, the ornate furniture, the mirror that reflected a version of me I barely recognized anymore.

And yet, here I was craving the comfort of my room in bloodmoon. Because, although uncomfortable, I had found comfort in it. In the simple wooden bed, in Ivy’s quiet presence, in the way Ramon had looked at me like I was the only thing that mattered in his chaotic world.

I laid on my back, and my eyes went to the ceiling, tracing the familiar patterns in the wood. Shutting my eyes, I hoped that if I remained unmoving in that position, I could find sleep before the day completely brightened.

So as I sought for sleep in that position, I allowed my mind to wander freely. Perhaps, keeping it on a leash was the reason I couldn’t find sleep just yet.

I allowed my mind to wonder what Ramon would be doing right now. If even they had noticed I was missing. And if they had, the measures they put in place after they figured out.

Maybe he had counted his losses. Or perhaps, he was gearing for an attack? To come to the pack, and swoop me into his arms?

A fool’s dream if I had ever seen one, but I embraced it. It was better than wallowing in self-pity.

The next time I felt consciousness, was when I felt a gentle tap on my arm. I opened my eyes to see Lydia smiling at me, her face soft with concern.

I yawned, as I straightened into a sitting position. Stretching, I turned my head about, feeling the stiffness in my neck from the restless night.

’’I actually slept?’’ I asked, shocked I had been able to find sleep after tossing and turning all-night.

’’You slept way into the afternoon. Your father wants you to join the family for lunch. I told him you don’t feel too well because of the sudden change your body had to endure. He insists you must show up for dinner,’’ Lydia revealed, her voice gentle as she smoothed the blanket over my legs.

I gave her a weak, but appreciative smile. She had done extremely well to buy me some time. The last thing I wanted was to eat.

A shower first, and some new clothes, then maybe the urge to eat would arise.

’’I brought several dresses you can choose from.’’ Lydia clapped in excitement, her eyes lighting up as she gestured to the rack of colorful fabrics.

I didn’t exactly share in her excitement but I had to force some sort of joy, nodding as she held up one dress after another.

About thirty minutes later, I had a much needed shower, the hot water cascading over my skin, washing away some of the exhaustion. Changed into a recognizable dress, soft blue fabric that flowed around me, I felt much better. I was certainly beginning to feel at home.

However, I still couldn’t find the urge to eat. Lydia left me alone when she failed to convince me to eat something, her footsteps fading down the hall.

I was practically staring into space, when someone knocked, and opened my door. I didn’t look up, but by their scent, I knew it was Seth.

’’Is there a reason you’re seated by the window, staring at nothing?’’ he asked, drawing closer to me, his boots soft on the rug.

I still didn’t look at him, but I smiled to let him know I had heard him.

Seth leaned on the wall beside me, and I could just feel him staring at me. He didn’t say a word, but just kept on staring, the silence comfortable yet heavy.

’’Do you want something, Seth?" I asked when I was tired of him just staring at me without saying anything.

’’I’m just wondering what’s on your mind. I’m also curious about how you changed so much,’’ he replied, his voice low and thoughtful.

"Changed?" I whipped my head to the side and gazed his way in wait for an explanation.

’’There’s something different about you. Something more mature. But that’s not all. I can’t feel your wolf either. She’s usually the brightest star in the room. She announces your presence. When she’s not acting shy of course.’’ He smiled, his eyes warm but searching.

My eyes watered. Out of everyone, I knew it was on brand for him to notice my missing wolf. He would usually tell me he comes around me to feel peace whenever his heart wasn’t at rest. And it was all thanks to my wolf.

’’What is it?" his forehead creased with worry when he saw the tears that had gathered in my eyes.

"Nothing.’’ I sniffled, and tossed my face to the other side, wiping at my cheeks.

’’I know it’s not nothing, but I won’t push you to tell me just yet. Rather, I want to know what happened when it was rumored you were dead. What really happened to you, Sonia?’’ he asked, concern heavy in his voice as he crouched down to my level.

I thought back to that day. Every time I did, I drew a blank. My memory stopped at leaving Ramon’s room. What happened after, was still a mystery to me to this day.

But somehow, I managed to escape a near death experience. It had shaped a lot of my thoughts in recent times.

"Sonia?" Seth called, and I jerked out of my head, and faced him.

’’This may come as a surprise to you, but I swear Seth, I don’t remember a thing. All I know is that when I woke up, I couldn’t feel my wolf anymore. I thought I had lost her for good. But I would feel her presence randomly. Mostly, when any of my emotions are heightened,’’ I explained to him, my voice cracking slightly.

He pursed his lips, as his face squeezed into a frown, his eyes darkening with concern.

’’What is it, Seth?" I asked, my heart skipping a beat.

’’There’s a book that can help you. But it’s with—’’

"You know about mum’s book?’’ I asked before I could stop myself, my eyes widening.

He looked at me with a puzzled expression, but behind that mask, I could tell he knew exactly what I was talking about.