Chapter 143 – Worm of Fear

Cassius’s brows knitted together in confusion. He tilted his head slightly to the left, not minding the curious glance Isolde was giving him from the corner of her eye.

’Memories?’ He echoed. ’How does that work? And why memories specifically?’

[Because it is the most versatile power.] Ananke replied. [Memories can give you many things, Cassius. They can teach you. And through them you may come to understand things you would never have understood otherwise.]

’Interesting. But it sounds difficult to gather.’

[It is. Very difficult even. But the rewards are worth it. The first problem is having enough memories for the Seed to give birth to a realm. The second is how to collect them.] Ananke said.

At those words, Cassius’s mind immediately went to one person. ’Sarah? Her Aspect could be useful.’

[It could. But she is far too weak to store inside her own mind the volume of memories needed. And Cassius, memories alter a being at their most fundamental level. We are who we are, mostly, because of the memories we carry. So if Sarah were to store all those memories for the realm...]

’She would no longer be Sarah.’

[Most certainly.]

’Then how would I collect them?’

[I may be able to help. But only if we are in a space already saturated with memories.] The Goddess said, then continued in a lighter tone. [Besides, with this kind of realm, there would surely be a way for the members of your Sect to reach each other even when worlds apart. It could be done by imprinting their existence into the realm through a fundamental memory of each person in the realm, then summoning them at will.]

Cassius was immediately interested.

He had been wondering lately how they would organise meetings once the Academy began. He was not worried about Sarah, that girl would enter the Academy as a student alongside them.

He would need her Aspect enormously inside those walls. The Academy was a place where power struggles, blackmail and blood-stained hands were as common as weeds.

If even Emrys had not escaped the fate of staining his hands, then certainly no one would. Certainly not him.

The Academy was a pit rotten with snakes, where each snake would slither, strangle and poison every other snake around it — all to grow stronger and climb out of the pit alive.

Neither the teachers nor the Principal herself would care about fairness or the preservation of lives.

Well, not the lives of ordinary students, at least.

The Chosen Ones were precious to them. If not for their overwhelming talents, then for their backgrounds. Even if not all of them came from illustrious families.

In simpler terms, the only way to receive the Academy’s protection was to prove you were worth something. Anyone who managed that could kill and bully and do as they pleased, and receive nothing worse than a light reprimand.

All of that was to say how much of a headache the Academy would be, and how desperately Cassius would need Sarah and the others he had in mind.

They also needed a reliable way to communicate without risk.

’Also,’ Cassius thought, glancing at Isolde as she played with a dagger that had appeared from nowhere, ’it’s at the Academy that I will finally encounter her...’

His face hardened like stone.

Her. The aunt of Emrys. Theophane — also known as the Witch, or to her circle of fanatics, the White Seer, named for her unblemished white eyes with no pupils.

’If there is one person I am permitted to be afraid of, it is certainly her. And the worst of it is that I am in completely unknown territory with her.’

He knew nothing about her beyond what everyone knew. The game had been strangely careful about Theophane, hiding her true nature, if she had one, and her weaknesses in a way that had left players back on Earth endlessly speculating.

Why her?

Until now, Cassius had no answer. But he knew one thing: if he was unable to bring Theophane to his side, then the only paths left were to kill her immediately, or ensure their roads never crossed.

The second option was obviously impossible.

Which left only one option: kill her.

Easier said than done.

But he needed to. Because Cassius hated going against someone whose goals he had not the faintest grasp of. And more than that, he had no desire to go against someone who viewed the lives of others — including her own — as nothing but tools to be used.

She was a tool. And she had always said so herself, with apparent ease.

That...that was a woman who put a worm of genuine fear in Cassius.

’Queen’s skirt. I am already exhausted, and I haven’t even entered the Academy yet. Will I even survive once I’m inside? I am the villain here, for Queen’s sake.’

That thought was caught by Ananke instantly, and the Goddess frowned with immediate dissatisfaction.

[Since when have you become so fearful?]

’This is not fear, Queen. This is accounting for everything, including my own death. Otherwise I would simply be arrogant.’

[Yes, but you would be something far worse than arrogant.] She retorted. [You would be a fool. Only a fool makes plans while factoring in their own death. That is not wisdom. That is not practicality. That is opening a small window for yourself to slip through the moment everything begins to fall, the window of ’Ah, I expected this. I accept my fate.’]

She paused for a heartbeat, then continued sternly. [That is how you lie to yourself. By crafting a well-reasoned excuse ready to deploy at the most convenient moment. And that is exactly what you forbade Sarah of Secrecy to do: to stop lying to herself. Now here you are, doing the very same thing you forbade her.]

’You don’t need to be this hard on me, Queen.’ Cassius grumbled, resting his chin on Isolde’s shoulder. She flinched, glanced at him, noticed he was still occupied, and returned to playing with her dagger.

If anyone looked closely, they would notice that each movement of the blade caused the surrounding sound to split for a fraction of a second.

’But you may be right.’ He smiled wryly, sighing. ’If I expect my death, I will not be able to give everything I have to prevent it. It will be far too easy to simply accept when it comes rather than fight it. But I must do everything — until the very last moment — to preserve my life and the lives of those who chose to trust me with their own. Isolde. Meadow. Sarah. There is also Klaus, Natalia, Keisha... and without forgetting Raven and Esmeray. And even, surprisingly...’

He almost laughed, but kept it to himself, looking at Isolde with quiet fondness.

’...even Anesthesia Amaris. If not for Isolde’s sake, then for my uncle’s. That is quite ironic. I don’t want her dead, but I am fairly certain she prays for mine every morning.’

He shook his head. ’And now that I think about it...I have gathered quite a number of people I care about.’

[More burden. More responsibility. And that is exactly what I want from you.] Ananke said. [Don’t forget, Cassius, you are my Blessed. No, I think even ’Blessed’ fails to do justice to what you mean to me.]

’Well! Are you suddenly in a confessing mood?’

[Silence.] Ananke rolled her eyes in exasperated playfulness. [But yes, it is a confession. A confession of love. Not the love you share with Isolde. But a love, my Beloved Blessed, that only I am capable of giving you.]

’Feeling smug, are we?’ He replied, slowly growing embarrassed by those straightforward words.

The Queen of Fate noticed, and smiled with quiet amusement. [I love you in a way only a god — or something even beyond — could love you. You are my chosen one, my Blessed, and even my fav—!]

Ananke stopped abruptly, suddenly finding it far too embarrassing to finish.

She didn’t understand what had come over her to make her say such things in this moment. But it seemed that Cassius considering his own death had unsettled her more than she’d expected.

She had felt a compulsive need to be more open, to show her warmth, to say something she had never said. To do something she had never done. But even now, she still couldn’t manage it in the way she truly wanted.

’Oh. I have a long way to go, don’t I? I wonder when the time will come that I can be truly honest with Cassius. When will I no longer be afraid of giving myself fully to something like this?’

She didn’t know. She didn’t need to know yet. Because...

’I understand, Queen.’ Cassius smiled faintly. ’You don’t need to say more.’

...she might have the most emotionally perceptive Blessed of any god who had ever existed.

[Understand what?] She scoffed, suppressing a smile. [All I meant to say is that you should be a man accustomed to responsibility, because you will eventually take care of my Church. And besides, you can bring all of these people into my faith.]

’Is that truly all you think about? Your faith?’

[Yes.]

’My safety, then?’

[A safe man is a weak man.]

’Who said that?’

[Me.]

’I knew it. Even my wife can do better than this. And that is saying a great deal.’

Ananke ignored him with a scoff, and Isolde shivered. She snapped her head toward Cassius. "Did you just say something about me?"

"Only that you are incredibly beautiful."

Isolde suppressed a smile and rolled her eyes. "Yes, besides that?"

"I am hard."

Isolde’s face froze.

Cassius burst into laughter.

After a couple of minutes of Cassius laughing and Isolde pointedly ignoring him, he finally decided to conclude his purchases.

’Right. I will take the Seed and the Cristo Steel. The steel alone is a perfect first product to sell through the Company. But I must admit I am still quite uncertain about feeding the Seed with memories. Where would I even find enough to nourish the—!’

Cassius stopped mid-thought and made a quiet sound of realisation.

[It seems you know exactly where.]

’Aye.’ He grinned. ’The Wastelands. More precisely, the forbidden area where that strange tree is rooted.’

[Now you only need to get there.]

’I will find a way.’

Ananke grunted in acknowledgement. [But again, you must be careful about which memories you use to feed the Seed. Not all memories are good. The harmful ones will affect you, for the Seed will be linked to you.]

’Aye. I will keep that in mind.’

After that, there was nothing more to discuss on the matter.

Cassius took the time to explain the items to Isolde and their usefulness, sharing with her Ananke’s idea of using memories as nourishment for the Seed.

Isolde accepted immediately, even though she saw considerable risk in concentrating so many diverse memories in one place. Problematic things could easily emerge. But the benefits outweighed the risks, so they went with it.

The same decision was reached for the Cristo Steel. On that one, however, Isolde shamelessly asked Cassius to set aside a small portion for her. Just enough to forge a pair of daggers.

With steel capable of nullifying Essence itself, it was a weapon an assassin like Isolde would give anything to possess.

Cassius agreed easily. He even considered keeping a small piece on his person for situations that might demand it. And it was wisest to sell something this rare in limited quantities.

They were new and, relative to the powers of this world, still dangerously weak. They could not afford to draw the attention of the wrong people.

Once everything was decided, Cassius confirmed his purchases and received both items through the golden realm. Isolde watched the process with visible awe.

157,800 OP remained.

Then finally...

"Time for the meeting, darling." He said. "Do me a favour, find an excuse to pull Sarah away from Raven. We need to meet Meadow."

"You think Raven will let me?"

"You are Anesthesia’s sister and my wife." Cassius grinned. "If there is one person Raven will never refuse...it’s you, darling."

Isolde smiled with twitching lips. "Just to be clear, I have no interest in being that woman’s sister."

"Of course not."

"You don’t believe me?"

"I do."

"You’re lying."

"I am."

Isolde scowled, stood up from the bathtub and went directly to find Sarah for the meeting.

Once all of this was over, Isolde mused, she could finally set her own plan into motion. The one she had discussed with Cassius.

She was not getting weaker. But she felt as though she was falling behind, watching Cassius grow stronger at a pace that left her breathless.

It was time for her to move forward.

—End of Chapter 143—