The flickering light in the wind, neither extinguished nor paused. I wait for the flowers to bloom, spring to depart and return again, while the merciless years laugh at my folly. My heart like steel has never given up.

"Even such a small request from me, you can’t agree to. Can you claim your heart still loves me as it once did? I know I’ve deeply wronged you, but you should understand that every decision I made back then was out of sheer necessity. Is it truly so unforgivable in your heart? Is forgiving me just once so hard for you? What must I do for you to return to my side?" Zhang Zheng was almost driven mad with rage. Speaking these words is almost like roaring to him, he can’t bear such results. He just wants his wife back by his side; why does it seem so difficult in his eyes, that even such a small request makes his wife feel so hard to accept?

"I really don’t know how to respond to you. It was you who heartlessly left me, who heartlessly abandoned me, and now you come to say these things to me. Do you think it still has any meaning? Doesn’t it seem shameful even to you saying it? The one who makes mistakes again and again is not me; the one who made me bear the blame is not me, it was you. Time and again you threw me to the precipice, making me pay every price for you. But what result did you give me? Abandonment, hurt, or did you provide me some greater benefit?"

Don’t you realize the consequences of each of your actions? What basis do you have to think I will cover your mistakes for you repeatedly? I’m not your slave; all I want is a simple and happy life. This isn’t difficult in your eyes, but I truly don’t ask for much. Yet why can’t you fulfill my small request? On what grounds do you now expect me to fulfill your demands?

Doesn’t everyone live by treating others how they’d want to be treated? The result you give me is the result I’ll give you; it’s all reciprocal. You hurt me time and again. How can I repeatedly forgive you, making me your scapegoat time and again in your eyes, to be at your mercy repeatedly? I’m done discussing past mistakes. Our past should have long been forgotten. Why must we both live in such pain and hardship? All I desire is to live a peaceful life. Since you can’t provide that, please just let go, stop holding on. I’m really feeling drained with your endless entanglement..." Xia Jing was truly on the verge of collapse. She wasn’t sure how to communicate with her ex-husband to make him understand her inner torment. He repeatedly tangles with her, giving her no chance to leave him completely. Is this what he wants? To see both suffer immensely? She really can’t fathom what she must do to end this farce sooner rather than it dragging on indefinitely.

"Listen up, I will never give up on you or let you leave my side. You can either agree to my request and return to me, I promise not to touch you, and that you can live freely as you wish. All I want is our nominal marriage to continue. But if you insist on breaking all ties, I’m not afraid of a fallout. Whether or not we fall out makes little difference to me. I desire very little, just as you’ve said, you only want to live peacefully, and I only want to live happily with you. Is such a life really so difficult for us to accept, to achieve? Why must we push each other to the brink? You believe that without me you’ll live happily, peacefully, yet without you, I’ll live in unbearable pain. Is your heart truly so cruel as to watch your once beloved husband live in torment, crazed daily?"

It must be said, Zhang Zhentian’s words hit Xia Jing right in the heart. How can she bear her husband living in torment and madness? He was once the man she loved most; for her, he was willing to abandon everything. Faced with this again, what’s so difficult about it? She is deeply torn about which path to choose, so she won’t regret it in the future.

"I really don’t know how to talk with you anymore. I’ve told you clearly and unmistakably that if you insist on dragging me down with you, I have no choice. But I truly have no reason to agree to your request, as you’ve hurt me so profoundly, I cannot accept such demands again. To me, such demands only make you seem a petty person.

I’m not as perfect and wonderful as you imagine. Perhaps you see me as flawless now, but it’s just a facade I’ve put up. One day you’ll see my inner ugliness, and you’ll discard me again. So please don’t harm me anymore. I won’t give you another chance to hurt me again. It might bring you joy, but I’d live in unbearable pain. Do you have the heart to watch your wife, who shared your bed for so many years, suffer unbearably by your side, all because of you?

It must be said your heart is truly kind, but shouldn’t your kindness be used as a capital to threaten others, right? I loved you; it was my love for you, but that love vanished in ashes the moment you abandoned me and ceased to exist. Why do you persist in acting this way? It only makes you seem incapable of letting go.

Love should be like this: when someone is in your heart, you should cherish them without a doubt, and when you let go, you shouldn’t shamelessly try to retrieve them because it makes you seem useful solely to those who never truly open to anyone. I will never agree to your requests, hoping you stop making such unreasonable demands, or we might not even remain friends. I believe neither of us wishes to see that result. We should remain good friends..."

In the seasons of sorrow and joy, only love is eternal. When I see the butterflies fluttering across the sky, how I long for you to be behind them...