Chapter 284:

Julie’s POV

I stepped across the threshold of the apartment, feeling a weight pulling my body toward the ground. It wasn’t just my feet carrying me; a mountain of worries and regret sat upon my shoulders. I didn’t feel well at all; my body trembled with a frailty I had never known, as if the blood had been drained, leaving my veins as cold as ice. We rode the taxi in a stifling silence, and when we reached the clinic, I felt the gazes of passersby and patients piercing me like needles. Their looks were filled with wonder and curiosity, as if I were an alien that had just landed among them because of this concealing black garment.

But I pulled my cloak tightly around me and paid them no mind; this blackness wasn’t just fabric it was my only shield, my fortified fortress preventing Robert’s eyes and his men from identifying me.

As we walked down the long corridor that reeked of disinfectants, I turned toward my brother and asked in a troubled whisper, my heart pounding violently behind my ribs: "Steve... did you put my real name in the reception records?"

He shook his head and reassured me in a low tone, trying to calm my terror: "Don’t worry, Julie, I didn’t... I used our mother’s maiden name to ensure total secrecy."

I breathed a small sigh of relief, my trembling fingers clutching the edges of my long robe: "Good... that’s much better. I don’t want my name in any medical or legal record that man might reach."

Steve placed his hand on my shoulder and patted it affectionately: "Everything will be alright. I’m with you, and I’ll never leave you alone."

We sat on the cold waiting chairs, tension gnawing at my nerves piece by piece. I tapped my foot incessantly, my eyes fixed on the clock. Suddenly, a nurse came out and called the alias Steve had provided. I stood up immediately, feeling as if I were awaiting an execution. In that moment, Steve grabbed my hand firmly and squeezed, saying: "I’m with you... remember that."

We entered the doctor’s office. The moment his eyes fell on me, I saw his features freeze for a second. He seemed stunned by the mysterious shape of my black covering, but he quickly recovered with high professionalism and motioned toward the chairs: "Please, sit down. Make yourselves comfortable."

The doctor began flipping through some papers, then directed routine questions about the date of my last period and whether I had thought deeply about the decision to abort. I answered with a forced stoicism, my voice sounding strange to me as if it were coming from a deep, lifeless well: "I’m completely sure, Doctor... I want to end this."

The doctor nodded and said in a businesslike tone: "Very well. Please get onto the examination table and lie on your back. First, we must see the fetus via ultrasound to confirm its age and position. Usually, the abortion will be via medication since the pregnancy is still in its early stages, but the scan is indispensable."

I climbed onto the table, my body as stiff as a plank of wood. With a shaking hand, I lifted the black robe off my stomach. In that moment, I caught a look of bewilderment in the doctor’s eyes; beneath that blackness, I was wearing blue denim shorts and a crop top that exposed my belly, making my appearance a stark contradiction to the external modesty imposed by the niqab. He didn’t comment, however, and applied a cold gel to my skin that sent shivers through my entire body.

He began moving the transducer over my belly, his eyes fixed on the small screen before him, while I stared at a large monitor on the wall showing the black-and-white details of my womb.

The doctor pointed his finger at a very small dot on the screen and said: "Look here... that tiny dot is the fetus."

My eyes locked onto it; it was exceedingly small, appearing fragile and weak amidst that void. Then the doctor added suddenly: "We can also hear its heartbeat now. Would you like to?"

Before I could answer, a loud, fast sound filled the room... Thump-thump... thump-thump. It was a real heartbeat loud, echoing, and pulsing with life and persistence. In that moment, it felt as if a lightning bolt hit my chest. Conflicting emotions clashed violently inside me, and a lump choked my throat. How could this tiny thing possess a heart that beats with such strength?

"The fetus is exactly 8 weeks old," the doctor said, noting down some observations.

I began calculating the time in my head with utter shock. This meant I didn’t get pregnant the last time Robert fucked me, but the time before that! I whispered in shock: "Eight weeks? Two whole months? But I didn’t feel any symptoms or nausea until yesterday!"

The doctor replied while wiping the gel from my belly: "That’s quite possible and normal. Many women don’t show symptoms until late, or they are completely hidden at first." He continued seriously: "Now we will conduct a quick blood test. Once the results confirm you’re cleared, I will give you the abortion pills."

I nodded and said in a faint voice: "Alright... as you see fit." The nurse entered and drew a blood sample, then I went out with Steve to wait in the lobby again.

We sat on those cold chairs, a silence as heavy as mountains between us. Steve watched me out of the corner of his eye until he asked, his voice full of concern and confusion: "Julie... after what you saw and heard... are you still sure of your decision?"

I couldn’t answer immediately. Since I saw that little dot, and since the sound of that beating heart permeated my depths, all my convictions were blurred. It was no longer about getting rid of a "thing"; it was about a "life."

I said with clear hesitation, my voice trembling: "I... I don’t know, Steve... I really don’t know."

Steve looked at me with gravity and kindness: "Julie, you can still back out now... no one is forcing you to do something your soul cannot bear."

I tightened my grip on my dress, trying to reclaim that old conviction the anger and hatred I felt toward Robert. I said in a voice I tried to make firm: "No... I’ll abort it. I must."

Steve nodded, his features calm as he tried to absorb my tension. He whispered: "Fine, Julie... the decision is yours in the end." At that moment, as if time had stopped, the nurse approached us with practical steps and said in a dry, formal tone: "The test results are ready. You may go in to see the doctor now."

I rose from my seat, my body stiff as iron. I felt a sudden urge to face this fate alone. I signaled for Steve to stay, then knocked and entered the office. The doctor greeted me with a calm look and pointed to the chair: "Please, sit down, Miss." I sat, feeling the harsh coldness of the chair pierce my thin body, and gripped the edges of my black robe.

I watched him in total silence as he opened his desk drawer and pulled out a small medicine box.

He took out two oval pills and placed them on the desk directly in front of me, then explained the process: "You must take this pill now under my supervision, and I will give you the other pill to take at home after twenty-four hours... Are you ready?"

I extended my hand very slowly, as if reaching for a knife’s blade. I picked up the pills with fingers shaking so hard I feared I would drop them. I stared at them resting in my palm; they were so small, yet their weight in my heart felt like mountains. For the first time since I learned of my pregnancy, I felt a tangible, real fear gnawing at my gut. My heart was pounding madly under the layers of black fabric so much so that I thought the doctor could hear the noise.

Noticing my obvious hesitation, the doctor leaned back and said in a reassuring tone, free of pressure: "Listen to me carefully... this decision is irreversible once we begin. You can back out at any moment before swallowing this pill. The choice is still in your hands."

I swallowed hard, a dry lump in my throat. I said in a faint, cracking voice: "I... I’m so scared, Doctor."

The doctor nodded understandingly: "That is a completely natural feeling. We can wait for minutes, or even until tomorrow... Take your time to think, so you make the decision that lets you sleep with a clear mind."

A long, lonely silence filled the room, broken only by my rapid breathing. In those moments, the echo of that tiny heartbeat I heard on the ultrasound returned to my ears with power... Thump-thump... thump-thump. I felt as if those beats were pleading with me. I closed my eyes tightly and dug my nails into my palm. I found my other hand pressing against my belly instinctively, as if trying to protect that weak being from myself. Suddenly, I opened my eyes and felt a strange strength flowing through my veins.

I said with a firmness I hadn’t known in myself: "I want to keep the baby... I won’t take these pills."

I walked out of the doctor’s room with slow steps, as if I had been born anew, though my body was still shaking from the monumental decision I had made inside. Steve was standing in the corridor, pacing anxiously. As soon as he saw me, he froze, looking at me with dread and intense anticipation. He asked in a low voice, afraid of the answer: "Julie... is it done? Are we finished?"

I stopped in front of him, placing my hand over my belly with a natural tenderness. Tears filled my eyes, washing away the paleness of my face. I answered in a choked voice: "I couldn’t do it, Steve... I couldn’t abort it."

In that moment, I saw Steve’s face suddenly light up. His smile widened with a deep relief he couldn’t hide. He approached and patted my shoulder with overwhelming affection: "Don’t worry, Julie. You’ve made the hardest and bravest decision. I promise you I’ll do everything I can. I’ll work day and night for you and this child... you will never lack for anything."

I burst into tears: "But I’m so scared of the future, Steve... how will I face all this?"

He squeezed my hand firmly to reassure me and looked into my eyes: "As long as I am breathing, fear nothing... I am with you, and we will go through this together, step by step."

We returned home with utterly exhausted bodies. As soon as we entered and locked the door, I took off that heavy black garment that had stifled my breath all day. I felt the cold air touch my pale face, as if I had been freed from a great shackle.

Steve rushed to the kitchen and brought me a glass of water and medications he had bought to ease the bouts of nausea. He said as he gently guided me toward the room: "You must rest now. Lie down, and I’ll bring you everything you need."

I entered my room with staggering steps and threw myself onto the bed, feeling the mattress embrace my weary body. I lay on my back and stared at the ceiling, replaying the events in my head. This step was the greatest challenge of my life. I placed my hand on my stomach and felt, for the first time, the massive weight of responsibility.

Now, there is a soul growing inside me an innocent soul, despite belonging to a man who shattered me and wanted to sell me like a commodity.

I let out a deep sigh that tore through my chest, drowning in endless questions: How will I raise this child under these circumstances? How will I be able to look into its eyes without remembering Robert’s face? And how will I protect my child from a father who wanted to sell his mother? The road ahead of me was long and dark, but for the first time in a long while, I felt that I wasn’t entirely alone.