She moved through the water until she was on my other side. Her fingers found the corresponding pressure points and began mimicking Maki’s technique. The sensation of two pairs of hands working my shoulders simultaneously was absurdly luxurious.

"Yes, but Purple Queen needs more pressure. Master’s muscles are very stubborn."

"I can do more pressure."

Natalia’s thumbs dug deeper, finding tension I hadn’t realized was there. The combination of her telekinetic fine control and Maki’s supernatural strength was working miracles on my abused nervous system.

"Good. Now Maki shows neck technique."

Maki’s fingers moved to the base of my skull, working along the occipital ridge with careful precision. Natalia mirrored the movement on the opposite side. They worked in synchronized silence, four hands mapping the landscape of my neck and shoulders with therapeutic intent.

The water lapped gently around us. Steam rose in lazy spirals. The temperature had returned to normal as Natalia’s emotional state shifted from homicidal to focused. This was still insane, but it was insane in a direction that wasn’t going to end with property damage or me becoming a cautionary tale.

"Master’s heartbeat is slowing," Maki observed with satisfaction. "Stress indicators decreasing."

"Good," Natalia murmured. Her hands moved lower, working at the muscles along my spine. "He needs to learn how to relax. He’s going to give himself a heart attack before he turns twenty." 𝒻𝘳𝘦𝘦𝘸ℯ𝒷𝘯𝘰𝑣ℯ𝑙.𝘤𝑜𝘮

"Maki agrees. Master pushes too hard. Master needs more care."

They were talking about me like I wasn’t there. Like I was a project they were collaborating on instead of a person with opinions about the situation. It should have been annoying. Instead, it was weirdly comforting.

"What else do you do for him?"

"Maki provides many services. Stress relief through grooming. Emotional support through physical contact. Entertainment through conversation and games."

"Grooming?"

"Cats groom pack members to show affection and establish bonds. Maki adapts technique for human physiology."

"The licking."

"Yes. Master tastes like storms and metal and safety. Very appealing flavor profile."

Natalia’s hands paused in their movement. I felt her attention focus on me with laser intensity.

"You let her lick you?"

"She doesn’t ask permission. She just does it."

"Maki takes what Maki wants," the cat confirmed without shame. "Master belongs to Maki’s pack. Pack members share grooming duties."

"I see."

The way Natalia said it made my survival instincts prick up. Too calm. Too considered. The kind of tone that preceded either forgiveness or creative revenge.

Her hand moved from my shoulder to my chest, fingers splaying across my sternum. The touch was possessive and deliberate. She was marking territory.

"If Maki is part of the pack, then she needs to understand pack hierarchy."

"Maki understands hierarchy. Master is pack leader. Maki follows Master’s commands."

"And I’m Master’s bonded mate. Which puts me above you in the structure."

Maki’s ears flattened slightly. Not submission, but consideration. Calculating where this was heading.

"Purple Queen has Covenant bond with Master. This is... significant."

"Very significant. It means I have certain privileges and responsibilities regarding Master’s care."

Natalia leaned closer, her breast pressing against my arm as she reached across me to touch Maki’s shoulder. The contact made the cat’s eyes widen.

"It means we share responsibility for his wellbeing. Both of us."

The implications of that statement hit me like a freight train. Share responsibility. Both of them. Together.

This was either the best thing that had ever happened to me or the most elaborate setup for my own destruction in human history.

Maki’s pupils dilated as she processed Natalia’s words. Her tails surfaced from the water and swayed with interest.

"Purple Queen suggests... cooperation?"

"I suggest we both want the same thing. A relaxed, healthy Master who doesn’t kill himself being heroic."

"Maki can work with this arrangement."

They were negotiating over my head like I was a shared resource. Part of me should have been offended by the presumption. The rest of me was too busy trying not to pass out from the combination of hot water, therapeutic massage, and two naked supernatural women discussing my care like I was their joint custody pet.

"Good," Natalia said, settling back against the tub wall. "Then we understand each other."

"Maki understands perfectly."

The look that passed between them was loaded with meaning I couldn’t decode. Some kind of female communication that operated on frequencies men weren’t equipped to receive.

Maki’s hands returned to my shoulders. Natalia’s fingers resumed their work on my spine. They moved in complement now instead of competition, four hands working together to systematically dissolve every point of tension in my upper body.

It was heaven. It was also probably going to kill me.

"Master should eat protein before sleeping," Natalia said, echoing her father’s message. "And drink water. You’re still dehydrated from the fights."

"Maki will ensure Master eats and hydrates properly," the cat agreed. "Maki is excellent at feeding."

"I’m sure you are."

The water continued to lap gently around us. Steam rose in lazy spirals. Outside the bathroom, I could hear the distant sounds of the rest of Onyx House settling in for the night. Laughter from the common room. Footsteps in the hallway. The normal sounds of people living their lives without supernatural complications.

This was my life now. Soul-bonded to a telekinetic princess who could freeze reality solid when she was angry. Served by a familiar who considered grooming a form of worship. Fighting monsters and gods and aristocrats for the entertainment of cosmic audiences.

It should have been terrifying. It was terrifying. But lying in hot water while two beautiful women worked knots out of muscles I’d abused saving the world was also pretty great.

Tomorrow there would be more fights. More politics. More complications that would probably try to kill me in creative ways. But right now, in this moment, I was exactly where I belonged.

Even if that place was completely insane.

"Master is smiling," Maki observed.

"Good," Natalia said, her own mouth curving upward. "He should smile more."

"Maki agrees. Master has very nice smile. Should display more frequently."