Chapter 143: Chapter 142 - The Night Before

The night before the exam seemed unusually silent.

Or maybe the whole school corridors were more silent than usual?

Like if the world decided to tone down everything just for once?

---

Yui got there earlier.

Not in a literal meaning of being early.

But unable to spend another second in her house alone.

---

Everything was ready.

All the desks arranged.

Lights glowing warm.

Papers cleaned up.

Except for some of the chairs forming a circle around the table.

---

Yui took her seat.

And started waiting.

---

Soon others came.

---

First was Akari.

Uncharacteristically quiet.

No dramatic entrance with a loud voice.

No running.

No shouting.

Just a backpack on her shoulder and determined face.

---

Then followed Mina with something mysterious held tightly in her hands.

---

Then Rika holding her notebook protectively.

---

Then Aoi as usual.

Observing everything before making any actions.

---

And finally Kuro.

Looking like he had to appear there by force.

---

And at last—

The door opened again.

---

Minami.

---

Yui stared at her.

---

"...Sensei?"

---

Minami didn’t respond right away.

Simply entered and closed the door behind her.

---

"I heard there’s a meeting."

---

As soon as Akari confirmed it.

---

"Support operation!"

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"This isn’t one."

Aoi said.

---

"It is now."

Akari replied without a doubt.

---

Nobody protested against her words anymore.

---

And soon the room became silent.

Not the usual kind of silence.

But not tense either.

Somehow calm and heavy.

---

Like if someone was preparing for something.

---

Next Mina went towards the table.

"I’ve brought something."

Putting a small pouch on it.

"Lucky charms."

Yui stared at it blankly.

"...You’ve made charms?"

"Yes, thirty-two variations of."

"Why thirty-two?"

"Simply because I wanted to."

Nobody questioned her any further.

---

Rika placed her notebook next to that object.

"This is important."

Yui stared at it suspiciously.

"...What is it?"

Opening it dramatically, Rika answered.

It was a manga page.

Showing how Yui was standing atop a giant monster made of an exam paper.

Holding a medical book like a weapon in her hand.

Title of the manga?

"Doctor Yui vs The Final Exam Apocalypse".

---

Silence.

---

Yui stared at it for a couple seconds.

"...Why is the exam a monster again?"

"Symbolism."

Answered Rika promptly.

"...Doesn’t explain much."

"That’s enough."

Said Aoi, putting that notebook back into place.

"Do not show that during the actual exam period."

"Why not?"

"Because it’s psychological warfare."

"That’s the point."

"You should stop doing that."

Reluctantly, Rika obeyed.

---

Then suddenly Akari stood up.

"Okay."

Everybody turned their eyes on her automatically.

And realized that this time there would be no chaos.

"I’m not going to say something strange."

Immediately disbelief surrounded the room.

"...Probably."

Added Akari.

After which she looked at Yui.

"You’re annoying."

Yui blinked.

"...Excuse me?"

"But you’re also stubborn."

"And that’s good."

Said Akari, adding after a brief pause.

"Because doctors have to be stubborn."

That statement was apparently the closest that Akari could say anything inspiring without destroying the reality around them.

Yui seemed slightly astonished.

"...This is your motivational speech?"

"Don’t complain."

"I am."

"Good, means that you’re listening."

Quietly sighed Kuro.

"That somehow worked."

"It didn’t."

Yui replied sarcastically.

But with a faint smile.

Then it was Aoi’s turn.

"Practical advice."

Everybody listened intently.

"Sleep."

Silence.

"Just sleep?"

Asked Akari.

"Yes."

Aoi confirmed.

"Your performance decreases under fatigue significantly."

"That’s scientifically depressing."

Rika murmured.

"And also true."

Aoi continued.

Meanwhile, Mina moved charms closer to Yui.

"Take one tomorrow."

Yui looked at that bag.

Then silently nodded.

"...Okay."

Finally, it was Kuro’s turn to speak.

He said little things, so it was unusual.

"You know this already."

Yui looked at him with a faint smile.

"But don’t try to be perfect."

A pause.

"Be consistent."

Silence.

Then Minami stepped forward.

For the first time in the whole meeting, the atmosphere slightly changed.

Not getting tense or casual, but something else.

Looking at Yui, Minami said.

"You’ve been trying for years to match expectations of."

Yui lowered her eyesight.

"And of?"

Minami continued.

"Teachers."

"Friends."

"Of yourself."

Each word was becoming heavier.

"But tomorrow isn’t about them."

Silent.

"You don’t need to become the doctor that other people wanted."

Yui froze.

And hearing her teacher’s soft voice.

"Be the doctor you want to be."

Those words remained hanging in the air.

Nobody said anything.

Nobody interrupted.

Even Akari kept silent for once.

Yui looked at her hands.

Years.

How many years she spent living according to those expectations?

Trying to become the person that she should?

And now...

For the first time...

Someone just said her to forget about it.

---

Slowly inhaling, Yui gave a smile.

Small.

But real.

Not arrogant.

Not perfect.

---

"...That’s unfair advice."

Yui spoke softly.

"How do you mean?"

Asked Minami with a tiny smirk.

"Because it’s the first one which makes sense."

Giving a faint smile, Minami responded.

"That’s good, then."

They stayed silent for a bit.

---

No jokes.

No chaos.

No interruptions.

Just people who silently supported each other.

---

At last Akari stood up again.

"Okay."

"You should leave."

"Go home."

"Sleep."

"And don’t die tomorrow."

"How did you manage to say such strange things?"

Asked Rika sarcastically.

"That’s my style of encouragement."

Insisted Akari.

"That’s really concerning."

Added Aoi.

But nobody said anything.

---

One by one they started to leave.

---

Till at the end, only Yui remained in that room.

Looking at the traces of everybody.

At that lucky charms.

At that notebook.

At the warmth left here.

---

Then Yui rose up.

And carefully picked one of those charms.

Studying it, Yui gave a smile.

Not that shaky anymore.

---

Yes, tomorrow was still unknown.

Yes, fear wouldn’t leave anywhere.

But for the first time...

She wasn’t heading into it alone.

There was no noise here as well.

They were going away quickly – one by one – like this day was flipping its last page already.

But in the classroom, Yui stayed.

It wasn’t because there was anything else to do.

But it felt harder to leave than to stay in here.

---

This place felt different.

In a way she couldn’t quite pinpoint.

There was nothing physically altered in this room.

But she didn’t feel it empty any more.

These walls were echoing other people’s voice that had already left her.

Akari’s straightforward support.

Mina’s cautious compassion.

Rika’s insane self-confidence in everything she drew.

Aoi’s accurate indifference.

Kuro’s pure sincerity.

And the final words of Minami.

---

Yui took her place back.

Just for a minute.

---

Her hand was lying close to the pouch with charms Mina gave to her.

She was not opening it.

She was just looking at it.

Because it seemed to be ready to vanish if she touches it.

---

"...What am I doing?"

The words fell out of her mouth.

Without drama.

Without emotion.

Just tiredly.

---

She was leaning her face closer and closer to the table, elbows supporting her weight.

For a while, Yui was keeping quiet.

Her silence wasn’t heavy any more.

Just...manageable.

This difference meant a lot.

---

Her glance shifted to the chair where Minami used to sit.

A memory came back.

It wasn’t loud.

It wasn’t painful.

But clear enough.

---

"You don’t have to turn into what people were expecting you to be."...

---

Yui closed her eyes for a couple of seconds.

Then opened them again.

---

"...It’s easy to say..."

she mumbled to herself...

"...When you’re not the one to prove everybody wrong."...

---

Even saying this she didn’t sound angry.

She just stated a truth.

---

There was a soft sound coming from the door.

It was a knock.

---

Yui looked at its source.

---

Again Kuro was standing there.

With his hands in the pockets.

Like he did not manage to leave yet.

---

"...Did you forget something?"

Yui asked.

---

Kuro shook his head.

---

"No."...

---

Silence fell between them.

None of them wanted to move.

---

And then he stepped forward into the room.

Laying something onto the table.

A pen.

Just a pen.

---

Yui looked at it.

"...What’s that?"

---

"I see you using the same one when you’re studying."

Kuro answered.

---

"It’s getting old."

Yui blinked.

---

"...You noticed that?"

---

Kuro raised his shoulders slightly.

Like it was unimportant.

---

"It’s just a pen."

But both of them understood that it was not just a pen.

---

She was taking it slowly.

Spinning it in her hands.

Shiny. Brand-new. Clean.

Not like hers.

---

"...It feels strange."

Kuro smiled slightly.

---

"Is it good strange or bad strange?"

Yui thought for some moments.

Then breathed deeply.

"...Uncertain strange."

Kuro nodded approvingly.

---

"That’s how it should feel."

There was a moment of silence.

But this one wasn’t uncomfortable.

It was just a silence.

---

Yui looked at the pen again.

At the table.

Then at the chair which was just empty after all.

---

"...I believe all of you."

It wasn’t a question.

Just a conclusion she was coming to understand.

---

Kuro was thinking for some moments.

Then answered without a pause.

---

"We don’t believe in you."

he said.

---

"We know you."

And this answer made her think.

---

For a long moment Yui didn’t speak.

Then she sighed lightly.

"...You really are terrible at comforting people."

Kuro looked at her surprised.

---

"I’m not trying to comfort you."

he stated simply.

---

Yui was looking at him intently.

---

"Then what are you doing?"

"I’m preventing you from overthinking until you stop yourself completely."

It was a hard thing to say.

Not a romantic speech.

Not an emotional one.

Just a hard thing.

---

Now Yui was looking away.

It wasn’t because she wanted to avoid Kuro’s eyes.

It was needed just for her to digest this.

---

The wind outside was moving softly among the school territory.

Somewhere far away the gate was shutting.

And the whole world was going on living its life.

---

Finally Yui spoke.

---

"...If I will fail tomorrow..."

She paused.

Then corrected herself.

"...When I will fail..."

Another pause.

"...Would it be alright?"

Kuro didn’t hesitate.

---

"Yes."

And this word made her feel something stronger than all previous ones.

---

Yui looked at the pen in her hand again.

Then nodded slowly.

---

"...Okay."

Again this silence.

This comfortable silence.

---

Now Kuro was pushing himself off the desk.

---

"Go home."

Yui looked at him surprised.

---

"You said that already."

"I’m repeating it."

"...Bossy?"

"You’ll survive."

And this time Yui let a little smile to appear on her lips.

---

Kuro was turning to the door.

Stopped for a second.

Then, looking away he said:

"...Sleep."

Yui sighed deeply.

---

"I know."...

---

And this time she did stand up from her chair.

---

The chair scraped softly the ground under its legs.

The pouch with charms went into her bag.

The pen was staying in her hands a bit longer.

Then also disappeared into it.

---

Yui followed Kuro into the hallway.

---

The lamps were dimming.

The school was becoming quiet.

Like preparing itself for something serious.

---

Walking toward the school gate Yui was looking ahead.

Not at the fear in front of her.

Not at the exams tomorrow.

Not at the expectation.

Just at the road ahead of her.

---

And for the first time for a very long time she believed it was enough.