30 Days of Passion and Revenge-Chapter 168: I’ll never suicide

Suddenly, Ethan strode over and knelt in front of her, roughly grabbing her slender neck. His eyes were dark, filled with rage, and his voice came out in a furious growl, "Lily Anderson! Do I disgust you that much?!"

Despite the pain from his grip, Lily showed no reaction. She stared at him calmly and said, "Ethan, I’m unwell. Either strangle me to death or let go."

Either strangle her or let her go?

Did neither option matter to her?

Was she so indifferent to life that she didn’t care if she lived or died? Did she want him to actually kill her for her to be happy?!

Ethan was infuriated by her indifferent reaction, his chest burning with anger as he roared, "Lily Anderson! You were the one who said you had feelings for me! How dare you act like I disgust you?!"

Had feelings for him?

Lily’s gaze wavered slightly. Yes, she had once developed feelings for Ethan Blackwood.

But now... why didn’t she feel anything?

"I don’t think you’re disgusting," Lily replied quietly, looking at him with calm resolve.

Not disgusting?!

Not disgusting, yet she had run off to vomit in the middle of their kiss?!

Ethan had never experienced a woman running off to throw up while kissing him!

"Then why did you vomit? Tell me, tell me!" Ethan’s voice rose to a hysterical pitch, his fury reaching a boiling point as his grip on her neck tightened.

What could she possibly say to make him believe her?

She had just felt nauseous at that moment...

"Mr. Blackwood, I’ve made some of Miss Anderson’s favorite pumpkin rice porridge," Nanny called out as she entered the room. But seeing Ethan gripping Lily’s neck, she gasped in horror, "Mr. Blackwood, what are you doing..."

Nanny’s sudden appearance snapped Ethan back to reality. He yanked his hand away from Lily’s throat, then scooped her up in his arms with a roughness that betrayed his frustration, the force of his grip stronger than necessary.

Lily remained silent.

In truth, she would have preferred it if Ethan had strangled her. That way, she wouldn’t have to keep holding on.

She didn’t even know why she was still holding on.

Ethan carried Lily to the dining room and gently set her down in front of the table, his movements much softer this time, ensuring he didn’t hurt her.

On the table was a bowl of bright pumpkin rice porridge. Nanny’s porridge was always smooth and flavorful, very delicious.

Without needing Ethan to force her, Lily picked up the spoon and began eating the porridge, taking small, measured bites, her demeanor cooperative.

Ethan sat beside her, his dark eyes fixed on her. Seeing her eat the porridge without resistance eased some tension in his face.

Her delicate, clean features were a little pale but not especially haggard. Her eyes were clear, and she showed no sign of crying.

Considering everything that had happened, she handled it much better than he had expected.

But why was this woman so determined to oppose him?! She and Alex Carter were finished, yet she refused to stay with him!

Was Ethan Blackwood so lacking in charm?! What a joke!

"Miss Anderson, how does the porridge taste?" Nanny asked, standing nearby with a concerned look.

"It’s good." Lily nodded at her and continued to eat the porridge, taking quicker bites.

Seeing her eat so quickly, Ethan frowned and smacked the back of her head, growling, "Eat slower! No one’s going to take it from you!"

Lily flinched from the smack but didn’t say anything. She continued to quietly spoon the porridge into her mouth, bit by bit.

"Mr. Blackwood, Dr. Smith is here," a maid announced as she entered the dining room.

Dr. Smith?

Who’s Dr. Smith?

Lily’s hand paused mid-air as she held the spoon. Her hand wound had already been treated, so why was a doctor coming?

"Let him in," Ethan ordered coldly, sitting beside Lily.

"Yes, Mr. Blackwood."

Moments later, a well-dressed man in his thirties entered the room, carrying a briefcase. He greeted Ethan respectfully, "Mr. Blackwood."

Ethan looked at the man with a commanding air, his tone cold. "My secretary, Helen, says you’re a well-known expert in your field?"

"I wouldn’t dare claim that," Dr. Smith replied humbly, glancing at Lily, who was quietly eating her porridge beside Ethan. He asked, "May I ask what you’d like me to do for Miss Anderson?"

Ethan pulled Lily, sitting like a lifeless doll, closer to him. "You can start now."

This woman acted strangely but couldn’t be as severe as Helen had suggested. A psychologist... this was a formality.

"Mr. Blackwood, would it be alright if I spoke with Miss Anderson privately?" Dr. Smith asked with a smile.

Ethan’s brows immediately furrowed.

Dr. Smith quickly explained, "With fewer people around, Miss Anderson might feel more comfortable and willing to open up."

"What difference does it make if I’m here?!" Ethan snapped, clearly displeased.

It was just a therapy session—why couldn’t he be there?!

Still sitting with his arm around her, Lily glanced at the psychologist before lowering her head and continuing to eat her porridge as if none concerned her.

She was entirely focused on her own task.

"Alright, alright," Dr. Smith quickly conceded, not daring to argue further with such a domineering man. He took his briefcase and sat across from them at the table, preparing to begin the session.

Bang—

Ethan suddenly slammed the table and stood up. "Fine, I’ll leave! Everyone out!"

Damn it, why was he even worried about whether Lily would open up or not?

Who could she be honest with if she couldn’t be honest in front of him? This psychologist?!

Fine, he’d compromise this once!

Dr. Smith blinked in surprise at Ethan’s sudden outburst, watching as the man stormed out of the room, completely puzzled.

Just a second ago, Ethan had been adamantly against leaving.

Lily continued eating her porridge, noticing that Ethan had left the room but remaining silent. Her lips pressed into a tight line, her eyes flickering slightly, but she said nothing.

It was unlike Ethan to listen to anyone else’s advice, especially a doctor’s.

"Miss Anderson, please continue eating your porridge. Think of this as just a casual chat with a friend." Once Ethan had left, Dr. Smith spoke kindly, trying to put her at ease.

"Okay."

Dr. Smith took out a small digital audio player from his briefcase and asked, "May I have your surname, Miss?"

"My surname is Anderson," Lily replied coolly, finishing her last spoonful of porridge before looking up at the doctor.

Dr. Smith turned on the digital audio player, playing soothing sounds of nature—birdsong, waterfalls...

Lily immediately understood why the doctor carried a briefcase instead of a medical kit.

He was a psychologist.

Ethan had brought her to see a psychologist?

Did he think there was something wrong with her mind? She felt perfectly fine... so why did she need therapy?

"My surname is Smith. You can just call me Dr. Smith," he said, trying to establish a rapport. Glancing at her empty bowl, he asked, "Was the porridge good?"

"Yes."

"Many young people in the city are under a lot of pressure. Seeing a psychologist is just a way to relieve that stress. There’s no need to be nervous," Dr. Smith said, hoping to help her relax.

"I’m fine," Lily responded calmly. She didn’t seem nervous or particularly at ease; she was simply indifferent.

"Uh?" Dr. Smith was a bit taken aback.

"I said I’m fine," Lily repeated, looking at him thoughtfully. "Ask whatever you want. I have things to do later."

Dr. Smith frowned slightly but continued in a gentle tone, "Are you very busy, Miss Anderson?"

"Not too busy." She had her day planned out and didn’t want to disrupt it.

Lily’s responses were reserved and distant but polite. She didn’t outright reject the doctor; her answers were clear and precise.

Dr. Smith took out some cards with various abstract images and presented one to her. "Miss Anderson, what do you see in this picture?"

"A black butterfly," Lily replied, her gaze focusing on one part of the colorful image—an area resembling the shape of a butterfly, colored in deep black, standing out vividly.

It was hard to miss.

"And what about this one?" Dr. Smith showed her another card filled with various shapes and colors. "What’s the first thing you see?"

"White."

Dr. Smith nodded, saying nothing, and continued showing her several more cards, asking each time what she saw in the images.

After going through all the cards, Dr. Smith felt somewhat fatigued. Still, Lily remained as calm and composed as ever, sitting quietly and silently watching him.

Setting the cards aside, Dr. Smith sat up straight and spoke kindly, "Many people don’t know how to properly manage their emotions. Talking to someone is a great way to relieve stress. If you don’t mind, Miss Anderson, you can talk to me."

"Talk about what?" Lily asked, genuinely confused. She didn’t feel like there was anything she needed to talk about.

"Anything that’s bothering you. Anything that makes it hard to breathe... Talking about it will help you feel better," Dr. Smith encouraged, trying to get her to open up. "Miss Anderson, try talking about those things."

Anything that made it hard to breathe... Lily’s mind suddenly became a chaotic mess.

Images flashed through her head—her father drugging her, her mother’s affair, the truth behind her family’s downfall, the fact that she and Alex were siblings...

"Do you know why I was imprisoned? It’s because your mother stole my confidential documents and gave them to Bill Carter, who then reported me to the authorities."

"Your mother didn’t jump to her death because she couldn’t handle the pressure. She was tricked by Bill Carter. He never intended to divorce his wife and marry her, so in despair, she chose to end her life."

"This is all Bill Carter’s fault. Alex Carter and Lily Anderson, though of different last names, are half-siblings—"

The overwhelming noise from the crowded mall suddenly filled her ears again as if trying to swallow her whole...

Lily’s lips tightened into a pale line, her pupils constricting involuntarily. Her breathing became shallow and rapid, and her hands clenched into tight fists.

She didn’t want to hear it.

She didn’t want to hear any of it...

Don’t tell her the truth... Don’t tell her about the facts... She didn’t want to hear it...

The sound of the waterfall grew louder on the digital audio player, and Lily’s breathing became heavier, tinged with a trembling anxiety.

"This music doesn’t seem to be helping. Let me change it," Dr. Smith said, noticing her reaction. He switched the track on the digital audio player.

This time, the music was much calmer—soft piano notes blended with the gentle sound of waves, soothing and tranquil, occasionally accompanied by the innocent laughter of children.

It was a peaceful and warm melody.

The kind of music that conjured images of children playing happily on the beach, building sandcastles without a care in the world.

Gradually, Lily’s breathing steadied, her emotions calming.

"What do you hear, Miss Anderson?" Dr. Smith asked gently, noticing her return to a state of calm.

"I hear a lot of people... It’s chaotic."

Dr. Smith was momentarily startled by her response but continued, "Modern life moves at such a fast pace, leaving little room to breathe. Many people, feeling overwhelmed, opt for extreme solutions like suicide—taking sleeping pills, jumping from buildings, stepping in front of trains... What do you think about these behaviors, Miss Anderson?"

Lily’s pupils constricted again, and her gaze became intense as she looked at Dr. Smith, her voice firm, "I will never commit suicide!"