30 Days of Passion and Revenge-Chapter 189: The Price of Love

"Lily! Are you deliberately going against me?" Ethan roared, his frustration reaching a boiling point. "When I didn’t believe you, you blamed me for not trusting you! Now that I trust that the baby is mine, you’re still acting all cold and sarcastic! What exactly do you want?!"

Ethan looked like a child on the verge of a tantrum, entirely at a loss. Though he didn’t lash out physically, he was exasperated and helpless.

"I don’t want anything," Lily replied calmly. "All I know is that I’ve never had a choice before you. Whatever you want me to do, I have to do it."

If he wanted her to go east, she had to go east; if he wanted her to eat, she couldn’t drink water.

Ethan had always demanded obedience and compliance from her. If she didn’t comply, it was as if she were deliberately provoking him.

"Lily! I already promised I wouldn’t control your life anymore!" Ethan snapped.

"Really? Then what do you call this?" Lily gestured toward the rows of bodyguards standing nearby, all expressionless. "If you aren’t trying to control me anymore, let me go. Can you do that?"

He couldn’t.

His personality was too authoritarian. He was always used to being in control.

"What am I supposed to do if you leave?" Ethan blurted out without thinking.

"Your life is so much richer than mine. I’m just an accessory in your life. If you let me go, I would be grateful," Lily said, looking at his tense face.

He had so much in his life, too much. Whether she was in it or not didn’t matter. But if she were dragged back, her life would consist only of him and the endless dark abyss.

"Grateful? Lily, are you joking?" Ethan’s face stiffened, a cold smile tugging at his lips, but his eyes revealed a trace of pain. "If I let you go, what about me? I’ve done so much for you and spent so much time."

Lily cut him off, her words tinged with sarcasm. "Including making some deal with my father, exposing my identity to the world?"

Was that what he had done for her?

To make sure she understood that she and Alex could never be together?

To make her realize, in front of everyone, that she was the product of an affair? To have her humiliated, like a clown, in front of countless flashing cameras?!

Ethan was left speechless. If he had known she had already fallen in love with him at the Carter family’s celebration, he never would have made that deal with Henry Anderson.

"Ethan, you just want to possess me. You don’t love me," Lily said with a bitter smile, the pain in her chest deepening. "You don’t even know what it means to respect someone. We’re not right for each other."

"But I don’t think you’ll let me go. Otherwise, you would have brought only some of these people with you. Ethan, you’ve won again in this game of cat and mouse."

Lily didn’t want to be surrounded by the street like this anymore. She turned and walked past Ethan.

In the end, the result would be the same. She didn’t want to be tossed into the car by his bodyguards. At least if she walked, she wouldn’t have to endure that.

"Lily, I don’t care if you believe me or not! I’ll only say this once!"

Ethan’s deep voice rang out behind her, and each word shouted violently. "You’re the first woman I’ve ever loved! And I’ll never love another! If you stay, I’ll never be with any other woman! I’ll do whatever you want!"

Lily’s body trembled, her lips pressing tightly together as her eyes suddenly filled with tears.

You’re the first woman I’ve ever loved! And I’ll never love another!

If you stay, I’ll never be with any other woman! I’ll do whatever you want!

Those are such beautiful words...

Why hadn’t he said them when she had been waiting to hear them? Now that her heart had grown cold and she was ready to leave, he finally said them...

He always said the most beautiful things at the worst possible times...

"Lily! This isn’t a game of cat and mouse. I want you to stay willingly!" Ethan walked up behind her, standing close as he spoke each word with intensity. "I want you to love me!"

Every time he had imprisoned her, it had been because he wanted her to fall in love with him!

The fact that her heart wouldn’t submit to him made him anxious, desperate to find ways to make it happen...

Lily tilted her head slightly, trying to keep her tears from falling, her voice as cold as possible. "What if I don’t love you? What if I insist on leaving?"

Would he respect her decision?

Could his domineering and overbearing nature let her go?

"You told me you loved me." Ethan said, his voice lacking confidence as he stared at her slender back.

She was already preparing to leave. Could she still love him?

Her heart had grown cold.

What was the point of bringing her back if she had already given up hope? Would he force her to starve again or drive her to stop speaking to him?

But if he didn’t bring her back, what would he do?

He had already endured seeing her with Alex once. He couldn’t go through that again...

The thought of it happening a second time was unbearable.

"Love alone can’t sustain a relationship." Lily blinked away her tears and slowly turned to face him, her voice calm. "We need our own space, not this constant entanglement."

If they continued like this, their relationship would only become more toxic.

"I’ll change for you!" Ethan interrupted her forcefully, his deep eyes locking onto her heavily made-up face. "However you want me to change, I will!"

In front of her, he could no longer be stubborn.

As long as she loved him and stayed by his side, he would do whatever it took, even if it meant humbling himself completely.

He didn’t understand all this talk about trust, but he knew one thing: in this game of conquest, he had lost.

He had lost completely.

"Ethan..." Lily didn’t know how to continue resisting him.

She had thought he would drag her back and imprison her, but she hadn’t expected him to say something like this...

The man who had been so arrogant in Central Park was now humbling himself just to keep her.

It made her heart ache, and she wasn’t sure if she still wanted to leave.

She couldn’t deny that his words had a powerful effect on her. He said she was the only one he loved, wouldn’t be with any other woman, and would change for her.

She knew that, in a way, he was begging for her forgiveness, pleading for her to stay...

"Cipher! Bring me a gun!" Ethan suddenly ordered in a low voice.

Lily’s eyes widened in fear, and she instinctively stepped back. What was he planning to do?

Seeing her frightened reaction, Ethan let out a bitter laugh. "You don’t need to worry. I’d never point a gun at you."

"What are you trying to do?" Lily asked, her voice filled with unease.

"Lily, I’ve said everything I need to say. If you don’t love me, then leave! I won’t hold you back anymore."

Cipher handed a gun to Ethan, who took it and calmly disengaged the safety. His eyes were dark as he gazed at her, his voice low and magnetic.

Then, without warning, Ethan raised the gun and shot himself in the left shoulder.

Bang—

His body swayed from the impact, his face twisting in pain, but he didn’t make a sound.

"Ah—"

The crowd of onlookers in the distance screamed in horror.

Lily’s face turned white as she stared in shock at the blood pouring from his shoulder, staining his black coat a deep, dark red...

"Ethan, are you crazy?!"

What was he doing? Did he have a death wish?!

"Lily, I’ll repeat it—if you don’t love me, leave!" Ethan’s gaze remained fixed on her, unwavering, as he moved the gun toward his left arm, his finger tightening on the trigger.

"No—"

Realizing what he was about to do, Lily screamed in terror. Still, her voice was drowned out by a second gunshot without a moment’s hesitation.

Bang—

The sound of the gunshot echoed through the twilight.

Ethan’s body swayed again, nearly collapsing, but he forced himself to stay standing, the blood flowing even more freely now.

His face grew paler by the second, large beads of sweat dripping from his forehead. His lips were as white as a sheet, drained of all color.

"Ethan, do you have a death wish?!"

Lily was utterly shaken. She had never imagined that Ethan would go to such extremes. Did he think so little of his own life?

Was he really willing to throw it all away?

Ethan’s right hand trembled slightly as he lowered the gun again...

"Stop! I won’t leave! Ethan, I’ll go with you! Just stop shooting..."

Terrified, Lily’s words burst from her mouth before she could stop herself, and tears streamed down her face uncontrollably.

Stop shooting...

Stop this madness...

"Really? Willingly?" Ethan asked, his pale lips parting as he spoke, his voice strained and rigid.

His right hand loosened, and the gun fell to the ground. His vision blurred, and his body swayed dangerously.

But it was good... She wasn’t leaving...

"Ethan!" Seeing him like this, Lily rushed forward in fear, grabbing him. "Are you alright?"

Was he really using his own body as a bargaining chip?

If she hadn’t agreed to stay, would he have kept shooting himself? How could he be so reckless, so insane?

Ethan wavered, his eyes struggling to focus on her. "You’re really not leaving?"

It was as if he needed to hear her repeat it to be sure.

Lily turned to Cipher, her voice frantic. "Haven’t you called an ambulance yet?!"

"It’s on its way, Miss Anderson," Cipher replied, stepping forward.

Everyone had been stunned by Ethan’s actions. Cipher had seen Ethan hit women before, but he had never seen him shoot himself.

"Then help me get him up!"

Lily shouted desperately. She couldn’t support Ethan’s weight on her own for much longer.

Cipher stepped forward, but Ethan’s hoarse voice interrupted him. "Stay back! I’m not done yet!"

It was only two gunshots. He could still stand.

He wasn’t that weak.

"Yes, Mr. Blackwood." Cipher stepped back immediately.

"Lily Anderson." Ethan pushed her supporting hands away, his blurred vision focusing on her tear-streaked face. Those tears... they were for him.

He would have taken more bullets without hesitation as long as she stayed.

Lily looked at his face, her tears falling uncontrollably, blurring her vision.

Ethan’s pale lips curled into a smug smile. "You’re staying of your own free will. I didn’t force you."

"Ethan, you’re insane."

He had been willing to risk his life just to keep her.

"Yes, I’m insane!" Ethan admitted shamelessly, his body swaying as his vision blurred even more.

"Stop this. Let’s sit in the car and wait for the ambulance," Lily said, her voice filled with concern. She reached out to help him again, but once more, Ethan pushed her away.

"I can stand!"

Ethan forced himself to stay upright, sweat pouring down his face as he clenched his teeth, his eyes straining to focus on her. "Lily, do you love me?!"

Even in this state, his voice still carried the same domineering tone.

Even a simple question from him sounded arrogant and overbearing as if he were invincible—even though he was a wounded man on the verge of collapse.