Climbing to the Top: A Reborn Queen's Journey-Chapter 617: Secrets

The mourning period for the Emperor has mostly passed, and the officials’ thoughts have shifted, their minds restless. Even if they still eat buns and drink cold water, they are willing to go to the palace rooms. In groups of threes and twos, they gather together, vaguely hinting at things that can’t be helped.

This is something that inevitably happens during a change of the throne, no matter how one tries to control it.

Take Chief Historian Chen for instance; he had dinner with Vice Minister Dong the night before last, exchanged glances with Vice Minister Yang from the Ministry of Justice yesterday, and tonight, he sought out two other officials from the "Princess Party" for chatter.

Jiang Shaohua herself doesn’t need to personally involve herself. It saves a lot of trouble and doesn’t provoke the displeasure or resentment of Grand Empress Dowager Zheng.

"How are you feeling today?" Once inside the palace chamber with the door closed, Cui Du eagerly asked, "Are you hungry? Tired? Do you feel nauseous?"

In the early stages of pregnancy, women indeed feel particularly weak.

Jiang Shaohua showed no sign of it in front of others, but privately, in front of her husband, she didn’t need to mask anything, resting her head on his chest: "I’m starving, tired, my stomach’s churning, but I can hold it in, haven’t thrown up in front of anyone."

Cui Du felt a deep ache in his heart, wrapping his arms around Jiang Shaohua, coaxing her by her ear: "You lie down first, I’ll go to the Imperial Kitchen and find you something delicious."

It’s one thing to eat buns during the day, but at night, she should eat something good.

Jiang Shaohua didn’t refuse her husband’s thoughtful gesture, softly responding, and lay down on the bed. Her head barely touched the pillow before she fell asleep almost immediately.

Cui Du returned with steaming hot food, and seeing her asleep, his heart ached once more.

While hesitating whether to wake her, Jiang Shaohua opened her eyes, drawn by the aroma of the food.

"Don’t get up," Cui Du brought the food to the bedside, settling it on a chair: "Open your mouth, I’ll feed you."

Jiang Shaohua chuckled: "It’s not that serious, I’m just a bit tired, not to the point of needing someone to serve me food and drink."

Cui Du put on a pitiful face: "I can’t do anything else, I can only take care of your daily life, food and drink. At least give me a chance to prove my worth."

Jiang Shaohua was amused again: "You and your glib tongue!"

A spoonful of hot porridge was already at her lips.

Jiang Shaohua opened her mouth, letting the warm porridge slip down into her stomach. Then a vegetarian dumpling was brought to her lips next.

One fed, the other ate, and soon, a big bowl of hot porridge, three dumplings, and two small dishes were all finished.

Only half of her usual appetite.

Cui Du couldn’t help but sigh: "When will your appetite return to normal?"

Jiang Shaohua softly laughed: "Counting the days, it should be nearly three months soon. After three months, the pregnancy will stabilize, and it won’t be so uncomfortable. My appetite will return soon."

Her tone and manner showed the calmness of someone who had experienced pregnancy and childbirth before, highlighting the flustered state of Cui Du as a newly-made father.

Cui Du first breathed a sigh of relief, then quietly said: "You’ve never mentioned children before."

Jiang Shaohua’s smile paused momentarily.

Cui Du immediately regretted it, wishing he could take back the words that slipped out: "I’m just rambling, don’t mind me. If you don’t want to talk about it, then let’s not."

Jiang Shaohua was silent for a long time before softly saying: "I really don’t want to talk about him anymore."

The past matters, one after another, have been put aside. Only this one could not be let go.

Fortunately, she and Wang Jin would no longer be married, and that misfortune would never be born.

Cui Du promptly said: "Then let’s not."

Jiang Shaohua nodded.

Cui Du ate the remaining buns and porridge, tidied up, and brought warm water to help Jiang Shaohua wash.

These intimate tasks were originally the work of Yin Zhutu Bai. During this time in the palace, both maids weren’t present, so Cui Du naturally took over.

After eating and drinking her fill, lazily lying in Cui Du’s embrace, Jiang Shaohua soon fell asleep.

In her dreams, a child’s tender face appeared, affectionately and longingly calling: "Mother, don’t leave me."

In a flash, he turned into a ten-year-old, a handsome young boy’s face showing doubt and displeasing scrutiny: "Mother, they’re all saying that you’re entangled with Prime Minister Zheng, is it true?"

Then, as a youth around sixteen or seventeen, his eyes showed disdain and anger: "You unchaste woman, frivolous and wanton, ruining the Wang family’s reputation. How did my father die back then? Did you and Zheng Chen conspire to harm him? How can you still have the face to stay in the Wang family? Why don’t you elope with your lover?"

"Drink this wine yourself, leave early on your journey. In the next life, be a pig, a dog, a cow, a horse, because you’re not fit to be a person, nor to be a mother!"

Get out!

I will never let you appear before me again.

"Shao Hua," a familiar voice called by her ear: "Shao Hua, are you having a nightmare?"

Jiang Shaohua opened her eyes.

The room was dimly lit by a candle covered with a lampshade. Cui Du looked at her with concern, wiping the sweat from her forehead with a cloth: "I’ll pour you some warm water."

Jiang Shaohua calmed herself and nodded.

After drinking half a cup of warm water, her heartbeat finally steadied.

Cui Du didn’t ask a word, gently stroking Jiang Shaohua’s back: "There’s still one or two hours left until dawn, why don’t you sleep a bit more?"

Jiang Shaohua closed her eyes, but sleep had already evaded her. Leaning against his chest, listening to his heartbeat, the late night was tranquil and serene, and their hearts seemed to be closely connected.

"In the previous life, I married Wang Jin." Jiang Shaohua continued with her eyes closed, her voice low like a whisper: "Not long after our marriage, I became pregnant. When my son was three, Wang Jin died unexpectedly. I became a widow."

Just a few short sentences exploded like spring thunder in Cui Du’s ears.

Cui Du suppressed the shock within, looking down at Jiang Shaohua.

Jiang Shaohua slowly opened her eyes, meeting Cui Du’s gaze, her voice calm: "That year, I was twenty, right in the prime of youth. Zheng Chen’s wife died in childbirth, and he hoped I would remarry. The Wang family also waited for me to leave. Everyone thought I would definitely leave my child and be with my old lover."

"I couldn’t bear to leave my son, refused Zheng Chen, and stayed with the Wang family."

"Zheng Chen was bitter, planting spies in the Wang family, deliberately spreading rumors. Inside and outside the Wang family, those who loved to gossip were all saying that I was unclear with Zheng Chen. The child grew day by day, believing these rumors and harboring resentment towards me..."

Jiang Shaohua finally revealed the hidden past that had been buried for many years, her voice consistently calm. Even her expression showed little difference from usual.

Yet Cui Du, in this calm indifference, tasted an inexpressible pain.

A mother who gave everything, faced with her son’s betrayal. This is the supreme sorrow of the world!

His heart seemed pricked by thin needles, and involuntarily, he drew her into his arms: "It’s all in the past now."

Jiang Shaohua’s body trembled slightly, her hand falling quietly on her belly: "Cui Du, I... I might not be a good mother."