Climbing to the Top: A Reborn Queen's Journey-Chapter 618: Hesitation

Under the candlelight, the couple leaned close, intimate and inseparable. Jiang Shaohua finally voiced the hesitation that had weighed heavily in her heart these days.

She had once been a mother; she had been widowed for over ten years for her son, giving her heart and soul to him, only to end up with a bitter betrayal.

This was a pain she could not let go of, a thorn lodged in her heart.

Now she was going to be a mother again. She should feel boundless joy and anticipation for the child in her womb. Yet she simply couldn’t.

"I know this is unfair to the child in my belly," Jiang Shaohua’s voice held a tinge of bitterness, "everything that happened in the past life has nothing to do with him (or her). However, as a mother, I already feel some resentment and alienation towards him (or her)."

Thus, these days her demeanor remained unblemished, not only because she was adept at concealing her feelings, but also because she felt a profound repulsion and resistance in her heart, harboring little hope or genuine joy for the impending child.

This dark thought, once spoken aloud, made Jiang Shaohua lose the courage to meet Cui Du’s eyes.

Cui Du thought carefully, then whispered softly in her ear, "You are destined to achieve great things; you need to manage state affairs and attend to political responsibilities, leaving little time to accompany and raise the child. Once the child is born, the responsibility of raising him will fall on me."

Jiang Shaohua: "..."

Jiang Shaohua was taken aback, she looked up at Cui Du, "You will raise the child?"

Cui Du nodded with the utmost seriousness, "Yes, of course. Between the husband and wife, one must take care of the child. You’re too busy, so it should be the father’s duty to raise the child!"

Cui Du always had the ability to simplify complexity; with him, saying he would raise the child resolved the worry that plagued Jiang Shaohua for days.

Jiang Shaohua pondered for a moment, "Alright then, let’s agree on that for now. Whenever I have free time, I’ll also do my best to spend time with the child."

She paused, "I’ll also try to like him (or her)."

The words sounded somewhat absurd. A woman’s maternal love should be a given; how could she not like or care for her own child?

Yet for a mother who had suffered bone-deep betrayal, this attitude was already very brave.

Cui Du tenderly kissed her forehead and softly said, "Shaohua, you need not feel guilty. You’ve done nothing wrong."

Jiang Shaohua slowly exhaled, leaned against Cui Du, and sleepiness once more overcame her.

She closed her eyes and sank into a deep sleep.

In her dreams, a small, blurry-faced infant toddled towards her, sweetly calling out for its mother.

Smiling, she bent down to hold the baby, its body tiny and soft, with a milky fragrance. However, the infant’s little face was always covered by a thin veil of mist, obscuring its features.

Mother! Mother!

The baby kept calling her. Her heart softened more and more, responding to each call.

In her sleep, her frown relaxed. Watching her peaceful countenance, Cui Du finally breathed a sigh of relief.

...

After voicing her thoughts, Jiang Shaohua’s heart was much relieved, and in private conversations with Cui Du, she often mentioned the child in her womb.

"I selfishly wish this child to be a girl," Jiang Shaohua confessed openly, "not because I’ve grown wary of sons from my past life, but because I, a woman, have become the Nanyang County Princess. If I am to have a greater future, I wish for my successor to be a woman as well."

"This way, we could employ more women in government roles, allow them to study, take office and hold certain powers, ushering in a new era. Achieving this is not a matter of three or five years; it might take decades or even a century. Changing social norms takes a long time."

"I’m still young now, but when I grow old, my daughter can take my place, steadfastly advancing this cause."

Cui Du wholeheartedly agreed, "You’re right. Let us have a daughter then!"

Jiang Shaohua smiled as she asked him, "If we really do have a daughter, would you be a little disappointed?"

After all, the world favors male heirs. It’s not even a case of gender preference; it’s just the norm. 𝒇𝓻𝓮𝓮𝙬𝙚𝒃𝒏𝓸𝙫𝒆𝙡.𝓬𝓸𝒎

Cui Du laughed, "In our place, girls and boys are the same; they both read from a young age. When it comes to college, they rely on their own abilities, and after schooling, women can hold high positions just like men. I told you before, my teacher was a top agriculture expert, my mother thrived in politics, and most of my cousins are in government, excelling in their roles."

"If we have a daughter, we must train her well from a young age. Let her study and practice martial arts, becoming the most outstanding girl in Da Liang!"

Jiang Shaohua chuckled softly and her mood instantaneously brightened.

There was also good news; she was about three months pregnant, and the nausea and discomfort she felt in her stomach disappeared. Suddenly, her appetite was abundant.

Meanwhile, Emperor Taihe’s funeral was finally nearing its end.

...

No matter how deep the sorrow, it would gradually fade away with the passage of time.

Grand Empress Dowager Zheng had been invigorated by Prince Huaiyang and Prince Wu’an. Recently, her spirits had been lifted considerably, and she specifically summoned Jiang Shaohua into Jingyang Palace: "Shaohua, tomorrow they’ll be transporting the coffin to the Imperial Mausoleum. Prince Ping will accompany it, and you too should go, looking after him on the journey."

The rule for women not to accompany the coffin or enter the Imperial Mausoleum was already broken three years ago during Emperor Taikang’s funeral by Jiang Shaohua. Now, with the full support of Grand Empress Dowager Zheng, Jiang Shaohua managed the overall situation, so her presence at the mausoleum was assured.

Jiang Shaohua nodded in agreement.

Grand Empress Dowager Zheng took a long look at Jiang Shaohua, reminding her once more, "Remember, no matter what happens, don’t get involved; just stay with Prince Ping."

Jiang Shaohua seemed not to recognize Grand Empress Dowager Zheng’s implied suggestion, she replied earnestly, "Rest assured, Aunt, I will definitely take good care of Prince Ping."

Mr. Zhao diligently reported, "Begging your pardon, Grand Empress Dowager, Imperial Concubine Fan requests an audience."

In the palace, with only Prince Ping remaining as the sole heir, for Grand Empress Dowager Zheng, the only course left was to promote Prince Ping.

Under such circumstances, Grand Empress Dowager Zheng had to give Imperial Concubine Fan some courtesy; whether she wanted to see her or not, she had to meet, "Let her in."

Moments later, Imperial Concubine Fan entered, respectfully paid her respects, then affectionately exchanged greetings with Jiang Shaohua.

Jiang Shaohua was polite to Imperial Concubine Fan, "If the concubine has any requests, just let me know."

Imperial Concubine Fan indeed had a request: "Hao’er is young, in the coming days, please look after him, Commandery Princess."

Among the palace women, Jiang Shaohua had become the undoubted candidate to assist Prince Ping. Since Jiang Shaohua could gain immense benefits from this, she had to pay an equivalent price. For instance, she must protect Prince Ping with all her might, allowing no one to bully him, shielding him from the ambitious Prince Wu’an and Prince Huaiyang, as well as the doubts from the officials.

Therefore, Imperial Concubine Fan’s plea was full of conviction.

Jiang Shaohua glanced at Imperial Concubine Fan and responded faintly.