Four Brothers and a Bride-Chapter 55

ASHAL

"Are you angry right now, Mr. Rollins?" Dr. Welsh asks. She is a good-looking woman in her early forties with a sophisticated bent. She sits across from me, one leg crossed in front of the other with a pen and book in her hands. While laying on my back on the tuxedo sofa, I squeeze my stress ball harder and exhale deeply.

"I think so. A little bit."

"What are you angry about right now?"

"It’s not what, it’s who." I shut my eyes to pretend I am talking to myself in an empty room where no one can judge me, hoping that way I can express myself better.

"I am angry at the woman I love. We um...we attended a birthday party together. Before that, she promised me that she wouldn’t try socializing with certain people at the party. I left her by herself for a few minutes during the party to handle some things and when I got back to her, she was exactly where she said she’ll be."

"Keep going."

"The thing is, she broke her promise and did converse with the people she promised to stay away from...and she didn’t tell me about any of it. I had to find out from my brother and it made me look stupid."

I can’t believe Olivia spoke to Ashton and Demi. I can’t stop myself from wondering who else she must have talked to at that party. Why did she talk to them? Why did she intentionally omit that little detail when we discussed the party afterwards on our way to the penthouse? I am so pissed.

"Okay." I hear Dr. Welsh scribbling in her notebook. "Have you had a chance to talk to her about this?"

"I am too angry to. I don’t want to lose myself when I am around her and hurt her and I can’t talk to my brothers either because I lied to them to defend her. That’s why I’m back here."

"I understand, Mr. Rollins and I am very glad you resumed our sessions. Now, let’s circle back a bit. Can you tell me the exact emotions you felt when you discovered the woman you loved and trusted had lied to you?"

"Anger, obviously. Betrayal. Pain." A little pause. "This doesn’t count as an emotion but I did feel unloved." The last statement feels heavy in my mouth.

"Unloved?

"Yes. I tend to doubt her feelings for me whenever she lies to me."

"Is this peculiar to your relationship with her or extends to other people in your life?"

"I wouldn’t say it’s peculiar to my relationship with her." I shift uncomfortably. "It’s a thing with me. I tend to doubt people’s affection for me and it doesn’t help when they lie to me."

"How long have you been feeling this way? Was it before this relationship or after it?

I exhale deeply. "Long before. My brothers and I grew up under our father’s iron fists. He is very good at showing us tough love, as they say. There were four of us with this face and every day, the challenge of being on father’s good books grew steeper. I was also dealing with bullies at school during that period. It was just a lot of pressure for me. Despite being the son of a wealthy businessman, I felt like my father constantly pitted my brothers and I against one another to secure his affection. Then, something happened in school."

"What happened?"

"I beat up my bullies in school. I don’t recall how it went down but the boys were deathly scared of me afterwards. My brothers and I even had to change schools because of my action. That’s when my entire family really started to look at me differently. I mean, I always wanted to be a little different from my brothers growing up but that was not what I had had in mind when I thought of making my own mark one day. They all looked at me like I was a freak, especially father. I’ve always felt unloved and unworthy ever since."

"How has this affected your relationships with women?"

"I constantly feel like I have to work twice as hard as my brothers to get a woman to want me for the long haul, you know. This face and body mostly attract women who don’t want me for just me. It attracts women who want to be with me for my name, fame and money. I don’t mind that but then I worry my BPD wills scare them away. Unlike my brothers, I actually want to build a life with the one woman I cherish but my condition keeps driving a wedge between us. I always feel inadequate because of it. I feel unworthy because of it. To make matters worse, she’s in love with one of my brothers." I hate how pathetic my voice sounds at the end.

"Are you also angry at your brother?"

"No. He doesn’t want anything to do with her."

Dr. Welsh continues to pick my mind apart and uncover layers of hurt I didn’t even realize I had.

"Do you think your anger might be masking another emotion like fear or shame? Fear that you aren’t worthy of being loved just like your brothers? Shame over the things your anger has driven you to do in the past?"

I squeeze my stress ball harder and open my eyes. I hate it here. This is exactly why I can’t keep up with my appointments with Dr. Welsh. Though our sessions are helpful, it’s the way I feel leaving her office that makes me uncomfortable.

We continue, working on my communication skills to help me express my anger in a healthy way which is appropriate with the intensity of a particular situation. I agree to take a walk to blow off steam and avoid very intense situations that have the potential to make me snap.

While I make my way back to work, I ruminate over everything my therapist said. I need to stick with my sessions till I get the results I want. I can’t afford to be flippant about it.

Asher’s words also hit me back at work. Is Olivia really interested in sticking with me or is she doing it because she thinks Asher has completely moved on from her? What will happen if he randomly shows up in her life again and tells her everything she hopes to hear? Will she maintain her new resolve to have a life with me?

I dial Olivia’s number now. Ever since we reconciled, she prefers I call her directly to check on her rather than going through Lily. For this, I got a second phone number that only has her number saved since my major line is still saved as Asher on her phone.

"Hey, how are you?" I pipe into the phone.

"I’m great. I’m taking an online cooking class." Olivia replies with a low chuckle. "It’s not going so well. I keep making a mess in the kitchen."

"That’s okay. You’re learning. Lily can tidy up."

"She can’t assist me. She’s been sick all morning. Poor girl."

"I hope it isn’t contagious? Get Fitz to get her out of there so she doesn’t affect anyone else."

"No. No. It’s not like that." Then in a low whisper. "It’s morning sickness. I think she’s pregnant."

That slows my heartrate a bit. Lily practically lives in the penthouse with Olivia and the security team. She only steps out to pick up groceries delivered at the gate. Unless she’s had sexual relations with any of the bodyguards, there’s no other boyfriend outside the four walls of the penthouse who could be responsible for her pregnancy. If she hasn’t been cozying up to any of the guards, then it has to be that one night when I mistook her for Olivia and slept with her.

Sweat breaks out of my forehead. "How? Has she been seeing any of the security guys?"

"Nope." Olivia counters enthusiastically. "She is very professional with them. She already told me it belongs to her lover. She’s only ever been with him. It’s his baby and she plans on keeping it."

"Her lover?"

"Yeah. She describes him as the most handsome man she ever met. She’s so in love with him, Ashal. I can see it in her eyes when she talks about him and rubs her flat stomach in circles. She’s excited about the little family they’re going to have."

Shit. How can Lily do this? I can’t let her tear me and Olivia apart, not after everything we’ve been through to get here. I won’t let a nobody come between us.

"When will you be coming home?"

"Tonight. I’m taking you out to dinner. Be ready, okay?" She squeals excitedly and thanks me for spoiling her lately. All I can think of is how she still hasn’t spoken a word about talking to my family members at Demi’s party. I honestly hope she can bring it up before I do. "Okay. See you soon. Bye."

I rub my aching temples at the thought of Lily’s pregnancy. That’s a mistake I have to rectify at all costs. I need to speak to her first and clear up some things. I dial Lily’s number next and she picks up almost immediately. She greets me gaily and I can tell she’s smiling sheepishly on her end of the line.

"Liv tells me you aren’t feeling too strong. Are you really pregnant?"

"Yes sir."

Damn. "Well, congrats. I’ll send you a bonus so you can have enough to support yourself and your child while I get someone to replace you at the house."

"R-Replace me?"

"You didn’t think you were going to be walking around pregnant and barefooted, did you? Need I remind you that you are a live-in housekeeper who is expected to double as a friend to my wife and keep her company? If you can no longer perform your duties maximally because of your condition, I have no choice but to relieve you of such duties and find a capable replacement. I’m sure your baby’s father would appreciate it."

Lily inhales deeply. "But...you are my baby’s father, sir. The night we spent together..." Her voice wavers with tears. "I haven’t been with anyone else...I am certain it’s our child."

"You are certain? So, if I have a paternity test done later, the DNA match will be a 98-99.9%? Is that what you are saying, Lilian DeMarco? You haven’t had any kind of relations with any other man in that building? You better think twice before you lie to me. If there’s even a slight chance that someone else could have fathered your child, now is a good time to talk because if you make me go down the path of a paternity test, it won’t end well for you."

I hear Lily’s breath come out in small gasps. "You are the only one who didn’t use protection..."

"You are not having the baby in my house! Go figure it out with your child’s father. I don’t want you around Olivia. Please leave my house before I arrive later tonight.."

"I’m sorry, sir. Please, don’t fire me...I have nowhere else to go."

"Whose baby are you really carrying, Lily? Tell me!"

Sniffling, she utters quietly. "It’s Drew’s."

Drew, one of the guys from the security team.

"Why would you lie that it’s mine?"

"I’m sorry. Drew denied me. I thought you wanted kids and would make a great father for mine if you believed you had fathered it. I’m so sorry, sir."

I end the call and sigh with relief. I do want kids but not with just anybody. I want them with Olivia if she is down. It’s hard enough trying to keep Olivia in the family and getting father to accept her. Father will lose his marbles if he learns I impregnated another nobody. I expel the worrisome thoughts and prepare for my date with Olivia.

***

"Asher?" Olivia pauses while putting on her earrings and slowly rises from her vanity mirror. She looks stunning in the bodycon dress I sent over. She’s is almost ready for our big date and smells so nice. "That’s not possible. How did you get through security? My husband will never let you in here."

My heart swells with pride as her eyebrows knit with a tight frown. Still, I don’t break character and whip out my ID.

"I know that. That’s why I swiped his ID when he wasn’t looking and came in here pretending to be him. Don’t worry, I’ll have it back to him long before he realizes it’s missing."

Olivia hurries to the window and peers out to see the car in the driveway. I know what she’s thinking. "Yes, I borrowed his car too obviously. I didn’t want the security team alerting him under any circumstances so I left no stone unturned in making sure I pass for him in every way.

"What the hell do you want from me? We’re done. I am with Ashal now. He loves and cherishes me more than you ever did."

"Please don’t say that, Liv. You’re breaking my heart."

"Good. I hope you never pick the pieces. Get out or I’ll scream for help." Her eyes go misty. "Leave!"

I run my hands over my face and sigh. "You have every reason to hate me, Olivia. I’d hate my guts too but please hear me out before you make me leave. You have everything confused. Contrary to what you thought, I didn’t abandon you or deny you. That’s far from the truth. Liv, I never stopped thinking about you."

"I don’t care. Get out, Asher or I swear to God..."

"I HAD TO LEAVE, OKAY? I FELT BETRAYED BY YOU." Her flaring eyes dim with curiosity now. "When I came by that day, I wanted to see you. I came to tell you that everything I had been putting in place for us to have a life together was coming to fruition. I had managed to convince my father that I will be a better match for a strong-willed woman like you. He promised to get Ashal to divorce you and get us married publicly. I came to share the good news with you but I accidentally bumped into Ashal and mother here."

I blow out an exasperated breath. "Ashal wouldn’t let me in because he knew how I felt about you. He met me outside and gave me the biggest shock of my life; he told me that you had just accepted his proposal to stay married to him and have a family with him. He even said mother was a witness. I couldn’t believe it. I was too shocked and angry to realize that I had put in so much effort for us only to be betrayed by the woman who had claimed to be in love with me. When you and mother came out, I knew he wasn’t bluffing. I just had to leave from there given how furious I was. That’s why I left like that."

I walk closer to her but she only edges backwards. "Then I saw you at Demi’s party. I knew it had to be you hanging by Ashal’s side the whole time. I grew so jealous seeing how affectionate you were being around him. You two looked so happy and in love."

"That’s probably because we are."

Pride swells in my chest at how she’s defending our union but I don’t let it show. I have to deliver a sterling performance as Asher. Then I can celebrate her loyalty when we go out on our date.

"Have you really fallen out of love with me, Liv? So soon? You didn’t even try to reach me once to know why I left the way I did. Are you so confident of your new choice that you were prepared to throw away everything we shared?"

Olivia moves away from me. "I’m done with your stillborn promises, Asher. For every bogus promise you made to me, Ashal acted. Save for his weakness, he actually does what he says. He showers me with love, gifts and constantly tries to make me feel special. He keeps breaking your father’s rules to make me happy and comfortable. He let me go on weekly dinner dates with my friend. He allows me keep a phone and call my family frequently. He takes me on dates and rents out the entire restaurant, cinema, amusement park, water park, aquarium and others, just to give me a special experience outside this house. He kept his word about slowly integrating me with your family and took me to Demi’s party for a fun night despite knowing the risks. He trusts me. I prefer a man who keeps to his word to one who is only good at making promises."

"He trusts you. I can vouch for that but do you trust him?"

"Of course I do."

"Then why didn’t you tell him that you spoke to Demi at the party?" Her face crumples with shock. "Why didn’t you tell him that you spoke to Ashton too and God knows who else? Maybe you should have told him before Ashton did."

"Ashal knows?"

"Yes. If he hasn’t brought it up, I am scared to think why." I hate to do it but I prey on the fear in her eyes now and draw closer to her. "Did you omit that detail because you were afraid of how he would react? Then, you don’t really trust him, do you?" fɾeeweɓnѳveɭ.com

"I trust him. I just don’t want him to get unnecessarily angry and lash out. Demi was being harassed by a stranger at the party and I just helped her out of the situation as a girl’s girl. I had no ill intent. You are welcome to ask her. She doesn’t even know who I am. I wasn’t trying to cause trouble but to save my fellow woman from one."

"And Ashton?

"I mistook him for Ashal and tapped his shoulder. When I realized it, I had to make small talk before leaving to avoid suspicion. That was purely accidental and I didn’t tell Ashal because I don’t want to trigger his condition. He’s been going to therapy more frequently now and I think he’s making progress. I don’t want anything to affect his progress."

Tears almost cloud my eyes at her honest admission. I take her face in my hands and smash my lips to hers. Her soft hands shove at my chest and smacks me hard on my left cheek. That’s when I realize I am still playing Asher and deserve the rejection.

"WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING?" Olivia questions, heaving with breath. A lazy smile seeps into my face. Asher was wrong. I have been worried for nothing.

"I’m sorry. I just..." I dig my fingers in my hair and stare at her beautiful face. Her lipstick will need retouching.

"Please leave. Ashal will be here soon and I don’t want him running into you and doubting me again." She returns to her vanity mirror and begins to reapply her lipstick. I watched her as she blatantly ignores Asher. It’s time for my epic close.

"So, that’s it? We’re through? Wow. I worked so hard to give you us a better life, to give YOU a life as a daughter-in-law of the Rollins family where you can join the mansion and attend events with the entire family with your head held high. What do you do? You betray me and settle for my brother. You bail on me to continue being a secret the Rollins’ family continues to hide." she pauses and stares up at me through the mirror.

"If you think my family will ever accept you without my help? You’re joking! The only way you can see the light of day as a proud daughter-in-law of the Rollins family is with my help. Even Demi wouldn’t have been in her place if I didn’t allow it. Father listens to me, you know." Olivia dips her eyes and fusses with her makeup.

"I guess you’ve made your choice. I am happy for my brother nonetheless. Eventually, I will forget the pain of your betrayal and maybe forgive you. I hope you keep your word to Ashal though. Stay faithful to him this time. I’ll take myself out of the picture now. I only came here to get some closure over what happened between us. I have your unequivocal answer. That’s all I needed."

I kiss the top of her hair and sniff it. It smells like flowers. "Maybe you’re right. Ashal is a better lover than I could ever be. I like how he’s making you glow. You two deserve the best of each other."

Then, I turn around and leave. My chest is almost bursting with happiness. I saw that going differently.

My phone beeps with a message from Asher. Billion-Err just posted a story about me and my mysterious date at Demi’s party. The comment section is going wild with guesses as to who the lucky woman could be that has stolen my heart. Billion-Err challenges the people of Danvarr to guess who my date was.

When I descend the stairs, I almost bump into Lily on her way up as my eyes are glued to my phone screen.

"Sir?"

"It’s his brother, actually." She looks a bit confused, a bit doubtful as she takes in my phone. It’s the exact type I use as Ashal, with a blue pouch. I slip the phone back into my pocket and make my way towards the foyer. Just as I grab the door, hands hug me tightly from behind. I feel her press her face to my back and sniffle. A frown creases my brow at Lily’s audacity. How can she tell it’s me?

"I’m deeply sorry. Please forgive me. I don’t know what I was thinking." I wrench her hands away from me and turn with blazing eyes to reprimand her. She drops to her knees in front of me with clasped hands.

"Please forgive me." She cries bitterly, grabbing my legs. Her face is a mess.

"Olivia?" It’s Olivia!

Her tears make her mascara run down her eyes. She leaps to her feet. "Take me back Asher. I still want the life only you can give me. Please, my feelings for you never changed. I accepted your brother out of desperation. Could you imagine what my fate would have been if I had turned him down? He could have killed me. Please try and understand. It’s you that I love."

Before I can process the shock of her heartbreaking confessions, she captures my lips with hers and kisses me passionately.