ISEKAI? More like I See Crap!-Chapter 66: Slapstick and Strikes ( )

Hazuki didn’t even think.

He grabbed Ellyn, lifting her off the ground.

"W-Wha—UNCLE!?!"

Then—he spun her around like a lunatic, laughing at the top of his lungs.

"OH YEAH!!!"

Ellyn clung to his shoulders, ears twitching furiously.

"U-Uncle, stop spinning me—!!"

But Hazuki was too far gone.

"THANK YOU, UNIVERSE!!!"

Then—he planted a big kiss on Ellyn’s cheek.

"Mwah!"

Ellyn froze.

Hazuki kept celebrating, completely unaware of what he just did.

But Ellyn—her entire face turned crimson.

Her tail stood up straight.

Mrs. Faria rubbed her forehead, sighing.

"Oh dear... this is going to be a problem."

Hazuki planted his feet firmly on the ground, fists on his hips.

"ALRIGHT!!! TIME TO CONQUER THE WORLD WHILE WAITING FOR 8 MORE YEARS!!!"

Ellyn was still red from the sudden kiss, completely frozen.

Mrs. Faria sighed in the background, rubbing her temples.

Then—Hazuki turned to face Ellyn, his expression suddenly serious.

He stared deep into her golden eyes.

And with a firm voice—

"Don’t die before we get married."

Ellyn’s heart skipped a beat.

Her ears twitched, tail curling slightly.

She didn’t know why... but her chest felt warm.

Then—she smiled softly.

"I won’t."

Hazuki grinned.

"Good. Now, time to start my journey as the future strongest man!"

Ellyn giggled.

"He really has no idea... but one day, he’ll understand."

Hazuki stretched his arms, letting out a big yawn.

"Alright! Time to sleep!"

Ellyn sighed internally, shaking her head.

"Haa... idiot Uncle." fɾeeweɓnѳveɭ.com

Then—

"Uncle, where are you going?"

Hazuki tilted his head.

"Huh? Sleeping at the veranda, of course!"

Ellyn pouted.

"You can sleep on the couch, you know."

Hazuki immediately shook his head.

"Oh, hell no! I don’t want people giving me some weird nickname!"

Ellyn tilted her head.

"Like what?"

Hazuki crossed his arms, frowning.

"’Couch Guy.’ ’Suspicious Freeloader.’"

Ellyn blinked.

"...No one would call you that."

Hazuki grunted.

"I’M NOT TAKING THE RISK."

Ellyn sighed again.

"Haa... fine. Do what you want, Uncle."

Hazuki grinned.

"Thank you, my dear future wife~"

Ellyn immediately threw a pillow at him.

"JUST GO TO SLEEP ALREADY!"

Inside Faria’s Mind...

"This guy... is really an idiot."

She watched Hazuki settle down outside, completely at ease, as if he had no idea how absurdly lucky he was.

"In front of him is a girl who can learn any powerful skill... and transfer it to him with just a kiss. Or... well, other means."

"Yet, all he cares about... is marrying a hot, adult Ellyn in eight years."

She resisted the urge to rub her temples.

"If only he knew."

"If only he realized that Ellyn’s real self was already nearly an adult."

Faria glanced at Ellyn, who was fidgeting slightly, avoiding Hazuki’s gaze.

"Instead of waiting for eight years... he only needs to wait two."

"This fool has no idea."

She exhaled, shaking her head.

"Well... it’ll be fun watching him figure it out."

"While nobles and power-hungry fools are desperate to claim her..."

"While they would use force, manipulation, even war just to obtain her abilities and make themselves stronger..."

"This guy... just wants to marry her?"

Faria glanced at Hazuki, who was now lying on the veranda, muttering about how lucky he was to get a future hot catgirl wife.

"Really an idiot."

She sighed, rubbing her forehead.

"No wonder Ellyn said she wasn’t worried about him turning into those kinds of people."

"He doesn’t care about power."

"He doesn’t even realize how valuable she is."

"All this guy wants... is to marry a hot wife and live his life."

Faria chuckled slightly, shaking her head.

"Maybe... that’s why Ellyn chose him."

Faria watched Hazuki lying on the veranda, arms behind his head, completely relaxed.

She sighed.

"Ellyn."

Ellyn turned her head.

"Yes, ’Mother’?"

Faria gestured toward Hazuki.

"Pass him the blanket. It might be cold tonight."

Ellyn paused, glancing at Hazuki.

He was already half-asleep, mumbling something about ’hot catgirl wives’ in his dreams.

Her ears twitched.

"Umm... okay..."

She quietly picked up a blanket and walked over.

Then—she gently draped it over him.

For a moment, she just stood there, watching him sleep peacefully.

A soft smile formed on her lips.

"He really is an idiot... but he’s my idiot."

Then—she turned and walked back inside.

Faria watched her with a knowing smile.

"It’s already too late, my lady. You’ve already fallen for him."

Several hours after that.

The night was silent.

A group of highly skilled assassins, cloaked in darkness, moved stealthily near Ellyn’s rented house.

Their mission was clear—eliminate anyone protecting the girl and take her away.

Hazuki, completely unaware of this impending danger, was fast asleep on the veranda.

Until—

A mosquito buzzed near his ear.

Hazuki groggily sat up, rubbing his eyes.

"Ugh! Get lost!"

He sat up, still half-asleep, and tried to slap the mosquito away.

At the same time, one of the assassins lunged toward him from the shadows, dagger in hand, aiming straight for his throat.

But—just as the assassin lunged forward, Hazuki swung his arm with full force.

SLAP!!!

Instead of hitting the mosquito, Hazuki’s hand landed squarely on the assassin’s face.

The assassin’s eyes widened in shock as he was sent flying sideways. He crashed into a nearby tree with a loud THUD and slid to the ground, unconscious.

Hazuki blinked, looking around.

"Huh?"

He scratched his head, confused. "Did I just slap something?"

Hazuki blinked.

He shrugged, lying back down.

"Whatever..."

The other assassins, still hidden in the shadows, stared in absolute horror.

One of them whispered,

"T-The target... he just took out Kren with a single slap..."

Another gulped.

The lead assassin took a deep breath, gripping his dagger tightly.

"Everyone... ready."

The assassins all nodded.

"We attack at the same time."

"Understood."

They prepared to strike—

But—

Hazuki suddenly sat up, groaning.

"Ugh... can’t sleep..."

He rubbed his eyes and got up.

"Damn it... I need to take a piss."

Completely unaware of the assassins hiding nearby, he sleepily stumbled toward their exact hiding spot.

Then—

He pulled down his pants.

And—

His HUGE SNAKE popped out.

(Yes, that one.)

The assassins stared.

They froze.

Their minds went blank.

All of the assassins froze. Shock. What they just witnessed was a horror. The leader stared at Hazuki’s HUGE SNAKE with wide, unblinking eyes. His mind refused to process what he was seeing.

Until—

Hazuki unleashed his stream of destruction.

"Ahhhhh... finally..."

The assassins didn’t even have time to react.

Before they knew it—Hazuki’s pee rained down on them like divine punishment.

"GAAAAHHH!! IT’S IN MY MOUTH!!!" one assassin gagged, spitting wildly.

"MY EYES!! MY EYES!!!" another screamed, rubbing his face furiously.

The assassins, now thoroughly drenched and humiliated, regrouped.

The leader gritted his teeth, drenched in humiliation.

"ALL UNITS! ATTACK!!!"

Hazuki finally noticed them.

He blinked.

Then—

"Oi! I’m taking a piss right now! Can’t you see I’m busy?!"

The assassins charged.

Hazuki gritted his teeth.

"If you wanna fight, at least wait till I finish!!!"

Still mid-stream, he turned his hips slightly—

And aimed directly at them.

"TAKE THIS!!!"

The assassins screamed as they were hit by the full force of Hazuki’s "attack."

One of them slipped and collapsed, gasping in horror.

Another tried to shield himself with his cloak, but it was no use.

The leader, now completely soaked, raised his dagger with a furious roar.

"YOU’LL PAY FOR THIS, YOU—"

But before he could finish, Hazuki lifted his leg and delivered a powerful downward kick.

WHAM!!!

The leader crashed to the ground, groaning in pain.

Hazuki zipped up his pants, letting out a satisfied sigh.

"Ah, much better. Now, where were we?"

( End of Chapter )