ISEKAI? More like I See Crap!-Chapter 67: Crazy Guy vs. Assassins ( )

Hazuki pulled up his pants, cracking his knuckles with a serious expression.

"I hate when someone picks a fight while I’m taking a piss."

The assassins flinched.

There was no hesitation, no fear in his eyes—only pure annoyance.

Hazuki cracked his neck.

A manic grin spread across his face.

"You don’t interrupt a crazy guy when he’s taking a piss."

The assassins gulped.

"GYAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"

Hazuki charged straight at them, laughing like an absolute madman.

The assassins screamed in terror.

"HE’S LOST IT!!!"

"I KNEW THIS GUY WASN’T NORMAL!!!"

"SOMEONE STOP HIM—AHHHH!!!"

The assassins tried to retreat, scrambling away in pure panic. freewёbnoνel.com

"Who said you can run, huh?!"

Hazuki’s hand shot out, grabbing one of the assassins by the hair.

In one brutal motion—

Hazuki yanked so hard that the middle of the assassin’s head became completely BALD.

"AAAAAAAAAGGGGHHHH!!! MY HAIR!!!"

The assassin collapsed, clutching his now half-bald scalp.

Hazuki held up the fistful of hair, staring at it.

"Damn. That came off easier than I expected."

The other assassins froze in horror.

Hazuki grinned, waving the clump of hair like a victory flag.

"WHO’S NEXT?!"

The assassins turned pale.

The assassins turned and ran, pure terror in their eyes.

"R-RETREAT!!! HE’S INSANE!!!"

But—

"GYAAAAARRRR!!! NO RUNNING AWAY!!!"

Hazuki let out a wild battle cry, his eyes gleaming with pure madness.

He jumped straight at them, his manic grin stretching ear to ear.

"I’M PISSED THAT I CAN’T PISS IN PEACE!!!"

The assassins screamed as Hazuki crashed into them like a human wrecking ball.

Hazuki grabbed one by the collar, shaking him violently.

"YOU THINK IT’S FUN INTERRUPTING PEOPLE IN THE MIDDLE OF A PISS, HUH?!"

He kicked another assassin in the stomach, sending him flying into a tree.

Hazuki laughed like a madman.

"COME ON! IS THAT ALL YOU’VE GOT?!"

Another assassin tried to sneak up behind Hazuki, dagger raised. But Hazuki spun around, his grin widening.

"OH, YOU’RE A SNEAKY ONE, HUH?!"

Before the assassin could react, Hazuki grabbed his wrist and twisted it with a sickening crack. The dagger fell to the ground, and the assassin howled in pain.

"MY ARM! MY ARM!!!"

"THAT’S WHAT YOU GET FOR INTERRUPTING MY PISS!!!" Hazuki roared, delivering a swift kick to the assassin’s chest.

The man flew backward, crashing into his comrades and knocking them all down like bowling pins.

Hazuki didn’t stop there. He jumped into the pile of assassins, laughing like a maniac as he punched, kicked, and tossed them around like toys.

"GYAAAAHAHAHAHA!!! THIS IS FUN!!!"

One assassin tried to crawl away, but Hazuki grabbed his ankle and yanked him back.

"OH NO, YOU DON’T!!!"

Hazuki lifted the man into the air and spun him around like a helicopter.

"WOOOOO!!! LOOK AT ME, I’M A HUMAN FAN!!!"

The assassin screamed as he was swung around, his arms flailing wildly. Hazuki finally let go, sending the man flying into a nearby tree. He hit it with a loud thud and slid to the ground, unconscious.

The night was silent again.

The assassins lay sprawled across the ground—lifeless, broken, completely wrecked.

Hazuki cracked his knuckles, standing in the middle of the devastation like a victorious warlord.

He grinned wildly.

"I’M A CRAZY GUY WHO LOVES FISTFIGHTS!!!"

He stomped on one of the unconscious assassins for good measure.

"CLOSE COMBAT? THAT’S MY SPECIALTY!!!"

Hazuki laughed like a lunatic.

"I’ve punched more gangsters than I can count back in my old world!"

He grabbed another assassin’s limp body and shook it violently.

"You think punching you guys is gonna change anything?!?"

"GYAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"

His laughter echoed through the night.

Meanwhile—

The assassins who had been sent to capture Ellyn—

The dangerous, highly trained professionals—

Were now nothing more than lifeless ragdolls littered across the ground.

And Hazuki—

Had no idea why they were even here.

Hazuki stretched, yawning, completely satisfied with his brawl.

Then—

"Oi."

He blinked.

Suddenly, town guards surrounded the area, their weapons at the ready.

One of them grabbed Hazuki’s arm, locking him in place.

"Alright, you’re coming with us."

Hazuki froze.

"EHHHHH!?! WHY?!?"

The guard sighed.

"We received complaints about a crazy guy being too loud."

Hazuki pointed at the lifeless assassins.

"EH?! BUT THESE BAD PEOPLE WERE THE ONES IN THE WRONG!!!"

"Yes, yes, we know."

The guard nodded casually while another group of guards picked up the unconscious assassins like sacks of potatoes.

"But you were too loud."

He patted Hazuki’s shoulder.

"So, you’re coming with us too."

"EHHHHHH!?!?"

At that moment—

Ellyn, who had been watching from the window, rushed outside.

She bowed politely.

"This guy just protected me from these assassins."

The lead guard raised an eyebrow.

"Oh? Well, that’s good..."

Hazuki grinned.

"SEE?! I’M INNOCENT!"

The guard shrugged.

"But still, this guy’s coming with us."

"EHHHHH!?!?!?"

Then—

Two familiar guards casually strolled into the scene.

"Ah, leader. We can vouch for this guy. Don’t worry."

Hazuki felt a sliver of hope.

"Finally! Some good news!"

One of the guards smirked, glancing at the unconscious assassins.

"And hey—put those guys down. We need to ’check’ them ’carefully.’"

The leader smirked knowingly.

"Well... go ahead and check."

Hazuki gulped.

"These bastards are totally gonna loot them..."

The leader crossed his arms, watching as his men gathered evidence.

"Leader! We found a lot of stuff!"

Two familiar guards approached, grinning from ear to ear.

Their hands? Completely full of coin pouches.

Hazuki narrowed his eyes.

"These guys..."

The leader inspected the weapons and gear laid out before him.

"Hmmm... Not bad. These are quality weapons."

One of the grinning guards spoke up.

"But, strangely, we didn’t see any of their ’pouches.’"

The other nodded, barely holding back a chuckle.

"Yeah... not a single pouch on them. Weird, right?"

Hazuki watched as they both casually took one pouch each for themselves—then handed the rest to the leader.

The leader accepted them without question, tucking them into his coat.

The other guards? Didn’t see a thing.

Hazuki facepalmed.

"These guys are unbelievable."

The leader rubbed his chin, looking at the unconscious assassins.

One of the grinning guards flipped through a bounty list.

"Leader, one of them is on the wanted list. Huge reward."

The leader raised an eyebrow.

"Oh? That’s interesting... But that also makes me wonder..."

His eyes scanned the group of defeated assassins.

"How did they all get inside ’without’ any expense?"

The guards all nodded knowingly.

"Yeah... definitely suspicious."

The leader turned back to Hazuki.

"Anyway, good job taking down one of the wanted men. And you—crazy guy."

Hazuki flinched.

"Y-Yes?"

The leader smirked.

"I believe you don’t want the reward for taking down the wanted man, right?"

Hazuki froze.

"Errr..."

One of the grinning guards patted his shoulder.

"Hmmm... maybe we should all bring him to the jail? You know, for ’processing’?"

Hazuki’s face paled.

"AHHHH!!! I DON’T WANT ANY REWARD! THANK YOU FOR YOUR SERVICE!!!"

The leader nodded in satisfaction.

"You all heard him. He’s giving us the rewards."

The guards cheered.

( End of Chapter )