ISEKAI? More like I See Crap!-Chapter 76: The Price of a Stare ( )

Meanwhile, in a certain place...

The night had fully settled in. A frigid wind howled across the open road, rustling the dry grass and sending chills straight through Hazuki’s bones. He huddled into himself, desperately rubbing his arms for warmth.

"Eeeekkk!! It’s freezing!!" He shivered violently, his breath visible in the cold air.

"Damn it! When will I find a town? A village?! Anything?!"

He scanned the dark surroundings, but there was nothing—no lights in the distance, no campfires, no distant chatter of travelers. Just an endless, lonely stretch of dirt road beneath the vast sky.

"And seriously!?" Hazuki waved his arms in frustration.

"Not a single peddler or carriage moving through this road?! What kind of shitty trade route is this!?"

His complaints echoed into the night, but the world offered no response—only silence.

Clicking his tongue, Hazuki unsheathed his sword and focused on channeling mana—something he was still barely getting the hang of.

After a moment, a small flicker of fire ignited along the blade, casting a dim, wavering glow. The warmth washed over him, bringing a moment of relief.

"Ahhh... finally, something good..." He sighed in contentment.

Growl~

"...Was that a monster, or just me starving?"

Grrrrrrowl~~

"Shit, it’s me!" His stomach clenched in agony, sending painful waves through his body. He doubled over, clutching his gut.

"Ughhh! Why am I still hungry?! I should’ve looted the minotaurs!! Even their damn jerky would’ve been fine!"

A sharp gust of wind blew through the road, piercing him like icy daggers.

"God, what’s worse? Starving to death? Freezing to death? Or dying from sheer stupidity?!"

With a dramatic groan, Hazuki collapsed onto the dirt road, arms spread wide as he stared at the crystal-clear night sky.

"...This world sucks."

After a long silence, he let out a deep breath, then shouted at the sky.

"Alright, listen up, universe! Either you give me food, or just let me die in my sleep, damn it!"

"I swear, if some random merchant or traveler shows up, I’m robbing them for food."

A pause.

Then, he shot up.

"Wait, no! That’s a crime! Dammit, I’m not a bandit!"

Hazuki sighed, rubbing his face.

"This is hell... Maybe I should just sleep and hope I wake up in a village." frёewebηovel.cѳm

As he settled down, wrapping his arms around himself, he muttered under his breath.

"At this rate, I’ll die before I even get to marry Ellyn!"

"I miss Ellyn..."

His eyes slowly shut, but before he could fully drift off—

Hazuki’s eyes snapped open.

Rustle.

Hazuki’s ears twitched. His body tensed. He immediately shot up, gripping his sword tightly. Bushes nearby rustled. Something was there. His survival instincts kicked in.

"Who’s there!?" His eyes darted around the darkness. "Food? Monster? Bandits? Please be food!"

Then—

A rabbit jumped out from the bush.

A big, plump, juicy-looking rabbit.

Hazuki froze. His breath hitched. His fingers trembled.

"F-Finally...!!!"

Without hesitation—

Hazuki dived toward the rabbit with everything he had—like a starving beast pouncing on its last hope for survival.

"Gyahahahahaha! You can’t run from me!!"

The rabbit jumped. Like an elegant, majestic creature of the gods, it soared through the air, effortlessly avoiding Hazuki’s desperate grasp.

"NOOOO!!!" Hazuki screamed as he face-planted into the cold dirt.

The rabbit landed a few meters away, twitching its nose, mocking him.

Hazuki slowly raised his head, dirt clinging to his cheek. His eyes burned with pure, primal rage.

"You... you little... SHIT!"

The rabbit twitched again.

Then—

It ran.

"OH NO, YOU DON’T! COME BACK HERE, FOOD!"

Hazuki sprang to his feet, his stomach roaring like a dragon demanding tribute. His sword still flickered with a faint flame, lighting up the chase in the pitch-black night.

"JUST GIVE UP! YOUR DESTINY IS TO BE INSIDE MY STOMACH!"

The rabbit zigzagged through the terrain, dodging left, then right—sharp turns that would break a lesser man’s ankles.

Hazuki barely kept up. His breath grew heavier, his legs burned, but his hunger was stronger than his exhaustion.

Then—

He tripped on a rock.

"GAHHH—!"

He tumbled forward, rolling like a spinning cartwheel of failure, and crashed into a bush.

"Owwww... damn it..." Hazuki groaned, groggily pushing himself up.

But then—he froze. Because in front of him, just a few meters away—

Was a campfire.

And beside it?

Meat. Cooking. On a spit.

The glorious, golden-brown, crispy MEAT.

Juices dripped into the fire, sizzling with an intoxicating aroma.

Hazuki’s eyes sparkled like diamonds.

"Foooooood..."

With no hesitation, he began crawling toward the meat like a desperate man dying in a desert.

Camp? Whose camp? What even is "private property"? All he knew was that meat belonged to him now.

His trembling fingers reached out—

CLICK.

The unmistakable sound of a crossbow being loaded snapped him out of his hunger trance.

His stomach stopped growling. His hands froze mid-reach.

And then—

"Move another inch, and I’ll make sure you starve in hell, dumbass."

A cold, ruthless voice came from the shadows.

Hazuki gulped.

Shit.

Hazuki slowly turned around, still on his knees, hands hovering in the air.

What he saw made him forget his hunger instantly. A group of women stood before him. Some were clad in full plate armor, their polished steel reflecting the glow of the campfire. Others wore flowing robes, intricate magical runes glowing faintly in the night.

But the one holding the crossbow?

Oh... she was different.

Hazuki’s eyes locked onto her immediately. She wore a tight, sleeveless vest, her arms wrapped in leather straps. A pair of shorts barely covered her upper thighs, granting her legs full freedom of movement. Her belt was loaded with throwing knives and tiny pouches that probably held all sorts of deadly tricks.

But Hazuki? Hazuki wasn’t focused on that. His gaze had already locked onto two particular "features."

Big. Round. Bouncy. Beautiful.

"Woo... nice melon~" he mumbled without thinking.

The camp went silent.

The armored girls blinked.

The mages stared.

The crossbow girl twitched.

"...What did you just say?" Her eye twitched violently, her grip on the crossbow tightening.

"M-Melon..." he whispered, still mesmerized.

Her face turned red from pure rage.

"YOU PERVERT!!!"

Without hesitation, she lunged at him, grabbing his wrist to lock him down. But the moment she touched him—

CRACK-BOOOOOOOOM!!!!

A blinding bolt of lightning crashed down from the sky —striking Hazuki AND the crossbow girl simultaneously.

"HUGYAAAAAAAAA!!!"

Sparks flew everywhere as both convulsed, their hair standing on end like porcupines. The armored girls jumped back in shock. The robed mages gasped.

And Hazuki? He fell face-first into the dirt, twitching. Smoke rose from his body. His soul floated somewhere above him. The crossbow girl collapsed beside him, her eyes spinning like a broken doll’s.

The group of women stared in disbelief. One of the armored girls hesitantly spoke.

"...W-What the hell just happened?"

The mage adjusted her glasses, nodding thoughtfully.

"Hmmm. It seems divine punishment has been delivered."

One of the warriors tilted her head.

"Divine punishment?"

The mage pointed at Hazuki’s twitching body.

"Yes. That man was struck the moment he ogled at another woman. There is only one explanation." She dramatically pushed her glasses up, her eyes gleaming with realization.

"He is bound by an unbreakable vow of fidelity."

Silence.

The women all turned to stare at Hazuki, now smoking on the ground, half-dead.

Meanwhile, Hazuki’s soul returned to his body. His twitching fingers weakly grabbed the dirt. His lips barely moved.

"Damn it... pinky promise..."

His curse had activated. And now? He had just electrocuted a woman he literally just met.

( End of Chapter )