ISEKAI? More like I See Crap!-Chapter 77: Shock and Awe ( )

The crossbow girl sat up, her body still tingling from the electric shock. Her hair, once neatly tied back, was now frizzed out in all directions, making her look as though she had just survived a magical explosion.

With a twitching eye and gritted teeth, she slowly turned toward Hazuki—who was still face-down in the dirt, lightly smoking.

"This guy..." she muttered, still shaking.

Then—she jumped to her feet and backed away toward her group.

"This guy is dangerous!" she shouted, pointing at Hazuki. "He can electrocute people just by touching them!"

The armored girls looked at each other, confused. The robed mage adjusted her glasses again, deep in thought.

"Fascinating," she mused. "A hidden ability that shocks those who make physical contact... Truly a cursed fate."

"Oi, oi, oi!" Hazuki lifted his head weakly, his face still covered in dirt. "Don’t make it sound like I’m some kind of cursed monster!"

The crossbow girl glared at him.

"Then how do you explain the fact that I got zapped the moment I touched you?!"

Hazuki sat up and casually dusted himself off.

"Huh? You’re the one who touched me when the lightning struck."

He stretched his arms with a yawn. "Don’t blame me."

The crossbow girl trembled with rage.

"YOU—!!!"

But before she could go off on him—

Hazuki’s nose twitched.

The smell of roasted meat hit him again.

His brain rebooted. His entire focus shifted. His stomach growled.

Without another word, he turned toward the campfire, walked up to the cooking meat, and casually grabbed it right off the spit.

The girls stared in shock. The crossbow girl’s rage-filled expression turned blank. The mage’s glasses nearly slid off her face. One of the armored girls reached for her sword.

Then—

CHOMP.

Hazuki took a big, satisfying bite. His eyes sparkled with joy as the juices ran down his chin.

"Mmm!! So good!"

With his mouth full, he turned to the group of stunned women.

"Thank you, girls."

Silence.

Then—

"WHO THE HELL SAID YOU COULD EAT THAT!?"

Hazuki stuffed another chunk of meat into his mouth, savoring the glorious taste. Juicy. Tender. Delicious.

He grinned at the group of stunned women, casually wiping his mouth with his sleeve. Then, with the confidence of a man who just robbed a dragon’s hoard and got away with it, he turned on his heel.

"See ya, girls!"

He raised a hand, giving them a lazy wave.

"And thanks for the food!"

The crossbow girl twitched violently, her fists clenched.

"OI! GET BACK HERE, YOU—"

But before she could finish her sentence, Hazuki’s legs moved on their own. He bolted. Like a cowardly thief escaping from justice. fгeewёbnoѵel.cσm

The armored girls blinked. The mages stared, still processing the sheer audacity. The crossbow girl? Her eye twitched harder.

"DID HE JUST—?!"

Then—

From far away—

Hazuki’s voice echoed back through the night.

"AND NICE MELON, GIRLS!!!!"

Silence.

The wind blew softly through the camp. The fire crackled.

Then—

"KILL HIM."

"AFTER HIM!!!"

The entire group erupted into chaos, screaming as they grabbed their weapons and sprinted after him.

Hazuki? He was already gone, tearing through the night like a man who just realized he pissed off an entire squad of warriors.

Hazuki dashed through the forest, the echoes of enraged women booming behind him.

"HEY! I WAS JUST BEING HONEST!" he shouted over his shoulder.

The crossbow girl was foaming at the mouth, reaching for another bolt.

"THAT DOESN’T MAKE IT OKAY, YOU PERVERT!!!"

The armored girls were right behind her, swords gleaming in the moonlight. The mages, however, were a little slower... mostly because they weren’t physically built for chasing.

One of them, a petite girl with long hair and glasses, panted heavily as she struggled to keep up.

"Ugh... dammit... I’m gonna pass out...!"

Hazuki glanced back at her and grinned.

"Well... for the mage girl..."

The mage girl perked up slightly, feeling a bit hopeful.

"Err... Cutting board?"

Silence. All running stopped. The forest itself went quiet. The mage girl’s breathing slowed. Her hands trembled.

Then—something snapped.

"...Excuse me?"

Hazuki chuckled. "Ahahaha... I mean, come on, you’re flatter than—"

"DIE."

BOOOOOM!!!!

A fireball the size of a boulder EXPLODED from her palm, roaring toward Hazuki like an angry dragon.

"SHIT!!!"

Hazuki ducked, the fireball barely missing his head and blowing up a tree behind him.

Then—more fireballs. A lot more.

"BURN, YOU INSOLENT INSECT!!!!"

BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!

Flames erupted in all directions, turning the dark night into a battlefield. Trees cracked and exploded. The air grew hotter.

But Hazuki? He laughed. He dodged every single fireball, slipping through them like a dancer weaving through explosions.

"AHAHAHAHAHA! IS THAT ALL YOU’VE GOT!? THOSE GOBLINS WERE FASTER THAN THAT!"

The mage girl’s face twisted with pure, unfiltered rage. Her eyes glowed red.

"I HOPE YOU BURN FOR THIS!!!"

She channeled more mana, preparing an even bigger spell. The armored girls took several steps back. The crossbow girl gulped.

"Uhh... guys? Maybe we should stop her before she actually—"

"FLAME APOCALYPSE!!!"

Hazuki’s smile twitched.

"...Oh shit."

Hazuki saw the incoming explosion of death and immediately raised his sword.

"Alright, alright, chill! I was just messing around!" he shouted, but the mage girl wasn’t listening.

Her entire body was glowing as she unleashed her biggest fire spell yet. Hazuki clicked his tongue.

"Fine, guess I gotta deal with this!"

He channeled his mana, focusing on water. The air around his sword shimmered, moisture gathering as he willed his magic to counter the incoming inferno.

Then—

BOOOOOOM!!!!

The fire crashed down upon him—a massive explosion of heat and destruction. Flames engulfed the area, trees burned to a crisp, and the night lit up like daytime.

The group of girls shielded their eyes, bracing for the aftermath.

Silence.

Then—

"Ohhh!! This is nice!"

The smoke cleared...

And there stood Hazuki, completely drenched, steam rising from his body. His clothes were soaked, his hair dripping wet—but he was completely unharmed. He grinned and ran a hand through his wet hair.

"Damn, that was refreshing!"

The girls stared. The mage girl’s jaw dropped.

"WHAT!?!? HOW ARE YOU STILL ALIVE?!?"

Hazuki spun his sword playfully, splashing water onto the ground.

"Magic, baby." He grinned. "Water beats fire. You know, elemental basics."

The mage twitched violently. The crossbow girl facepalmed. The armored girls exchanged nervous glances.

Then—

The mage collapsed onto her knees, trembling with pure, unimaginable frustration.

"I... I... I HATE HIM SO MUCH!!!"

Hazuki, still completely soaked, casually walked away, stretching his arms.

"Well, thanks for the warm bath. See ya, girls!"

Then—

"AND NICE MELONS!—oh wait, except for you, mage girl."

Hazuki laughed loudly, his soaking wet clothes sticking to his skin, as he bolted into the night.

"AHAHAHAHAHA! LATER, SUCKERS!"

His voice echoed through the forest, filled with pure smugness.

The group of girls? They just stood there, completely stunned. The armored girls exchanged blank looks. The crossbow girl still had her weapon raised, but her finger hovered over the trigger, hesitating.

The mage girl? She trembled. Her eyes twitched. Her fingers curled into fists.

Then—

THUMP.

She collapsed onto her knees, completely out of mana.

"DAMN IT...!" She panted, sweat dripping from her forehead. "That bastard...! He—he made a fool out of me!"

"JUST YOU WAIT!! WHEN I FIND YOU AGAIN—!!!"

She didn’t even finish her sentence before falling flat onto the ground.

The crossbow girl crossed her arms, clicking her tongue.

"I can’t believe we let that idiot escape."

One of the armored girls sighed.

"...Should we chase him?"

Another shrugged.

"...Nah. He’s already gone."

The mage girl slowly raised her trembling fist.

"THAT BASTARD WILL PAY... ONE DAY...!!!"

The night wind carried Hazuki’s fading laughter as he disappeared into the darkness.

( End of Chapter )