Love Among The Ruins-Chapter 52

NADINE’S P.O.V

We left in the early hours of the morning.

Rowan went first, making sure that the monsters were all gone- at least, that was his excuse. I think he went to cover what was left of Dan so we wouldn’t have to see it. It was a small gesture, but I could tell it meant a lot to Jennifer who was yet to say a word.

We walked in complete silence, stopping at the store to get some things before continuing on our journey. I stuck close to Rowan. The very thought of being away from him filled my chest with a tightness that I couldn’t explain.

I knew we were in a dangerous situation, I had known that since the very moment we stepped out of that bunker, but I didn’t realize the severity of it until now. Someone died. I could die. Rowan could die and no one would be the wiser.

I suddenly understood Jennifer’s hatred for me. I couldn’t blame her for it. My father and General Trent had left us all to rot and it didn’t settle in my heart until now. I had no idea what I would do when I finally faced him. Would he be surprised to see me? Would he upset that I survived or proud? Would I want to see him?

We stopped to take a break and Rowan laid out the map he got from the supermarket. He took a pen from his back pocket and began circling spots on it.

"What are you doing?" I asked, crouching next to him.

"I’m highlighting all the possible spots that a bunker could be hidden."

He had circled two different places.

I ran my fingers through my hair and sighed. I knew it wouldn’t be easy to find, but I didn’t realize that it would be this hard.

"A bunker needs a steady water source so it has to be near a river or a lake. It also needs to be close enough to town that the soldiers can get supplies when necessary, and finally, it needs to be near enough wildlife and forest."

"Why?"

"What do you think you eat, princess?" he teased. "These are the only two places that have everything I listed."

"How do we know which it is?"

"We check them all."

"You’re joking, right?" my head snapped up to find Jennifer standing behind us.

Her voice was hoarse from lack of use and her eyes were red rimmed and swollen. I knew she was crying earlier but I didn’t realize how hard. I chose to give her space so she wouldn’t feel embarrassed.

"They are on opposite sides of this town. We could die before getting to the next one."

"We could die by sitting out here," Rowan retorted. ’We have to try. Do you have any better options?"

"We could live out here," she gestured to the surrounding area. "We could pick a house and just stay there. We don’t have to keep going. There is no guarantee that they will even let us in."

Rowan’s jaw clenched so I cut in. "You don’t know that. My dad-"

"Your father left you to die like the rest of us," she spat. "What makes you think that he will want to see you? For all we know, he has disowned you."

She knew just where to aim her words for maximum effect. She knew which buttons to push and which insecurities to poke at. Sometimes I wondered if it was a way of guarding herself or if she was just a raging bitch. Regardless, I wasn’t going to snap back, not when she was hurting.

"He may turn us away, that is true," I shrugged. "But I would rather try."

"And then what? Dan died."

"I know that."

"It doesn’t seem like you do," she sighed heavily. "We lived our entire lives protected in that stupid bunker for what? They discarded us and left us to fend for ourselves. The monsters aren’t going to go away. The bunker will fail at some point. You will be forced out again. Isn’t it time for us to stop hiding and actually start hunting these monsters?"

I glanced over at Rowan who seemed to be listening to her.

She made a good point, a valid one too, but the truth was, fighting the monsters would be dangerous. We would be putting our lives at risk every day and I just couldn’t live with it. I couldn’t live every day in fear that something was going to happen.

"Jen-"

She turned to Rowan. "Say something, Caine. You know I’m right."

"I do, but I can’t join you."

"Why the fuck not?"

"Because I won’t put Nadine in danger."

My words caught in my throat and I turned to him sharply. Of all the things I expected him to say, that was not the first. He wasn’t even looking at me as he said it, he had his eyes fixed on Jennifer.

"So you’re going to go back to the bunker and be their slave again? You’re going to let them whip you and starve you because of her?"

"Yes, and I’d do it a million times over."

She held up a hand. "You’re a coward."

"Okay," he shrugged, rising to his feet. "There are a few houses in front. We can find one for the night."

The walk to the house was tense and uncomfortable. We walked side by side, neither one of us saying a word.

As soon as we found somewhere to sleep, Jennifer all but ran into the nearest room and locked herself in. I wanted to go after her, wanted to tell her that we understood her, but I couldn’t. I had bigger fish to fry.

"I don’t want you to make a decision because of me," I said once Rowan and I got into the bedroom. "If you think Nadine has a point-"

"Do you think I haven’t thought about what she said before? Even before the bunker failed, that was my plan. I was going to hunt the monsters or die trying."

"What happened? What changed your mind?"

"You did." He ran his hands down his face. "You brilliantly frustrating woman. You came into my life and I realized that living isn’t so bad as long as you have someone to do it with."

My breath caught in my throat.

His words were like well-aimed daggers, piercing through every wall I had put up, every guard and every rational thought.

"You can’t live for someone else."

"Watch me."

He stepped closer and I stepped back.

"Do they really starve and whip you?"

He shrugged. "I’m more stubborn than the others. I’m used to it."

"Rowan-"

"You can say no all you want. Hell, you can walk out of here in the hopes that I will make my own decision but I will come after you. We’re in this together, princess. I’m not walking away."

"But Jen-"

"Jen will be fine. She’s grieving. She just needs time."

Somehow, I felt like he was wrong but I nodded. "Okay."

"Now come to bed, we have a long day tomorrow."