Love Among The Ruins-Chapter 53

NADINE’S P.O.V

The next day, Jennifer was even more detached than usual. She wouldn’t eat with us, wouldn’t speak to us and would barely even look at us.

Rowan wasn’t worried, he told me that she would be fine and would come around soon but I couldn’t shake the feeling that something was wrong. I had seen her cruel, I had seen her mean, but I had never seen her this dismissive before. I knew Dan’s death hit her hard but this was something else.

When we took a break, I made my way over to her. "Is it alright if I sit down?"

She looked up at me with a bland expression, stared at me for a few seconds and looked away without saying a single word. I would have been lying if I said her dismissal didn’t hurt. Still, I sat down next to her and placed my hands gingerly in my lap.

"Are you alright? You’ve been very quiet today."

She still didn’t say a word. She just ate her protein bar in silence.

I glanced over my shoulder at Rowan who was pretending not to be watching us. His eyes met mine and he gestured for me to come back, but I refused. I needed to know that she was okay. She didn’t have Dan anymore, and even though she probably still hated my guts, I wasn’t going to let her do this alone.

"You don’t have to say anything if you don’t want to," I continued. "I just want to know if-"

"Can you stop talking for five seconds?" She snapped and I instantly went silent. "I’m not falling into a depressive episode. I just want to be alone."

"I know that. I just wanted to make sure you were okay after yesterday." 𝕗𝐫𝚎𝗲𝘄𝐞𝕓𝐧𝕠𝘃𝕖𝐥.𝐜𝚘𝚖

"You mean after you and your boyfriend vetoed what we were going to do?" she snorted. "Please, it only makes me hate you more and wish Dan was here."

She tried to keep her voice as dismissive as possible, but I could hear the sadness weaved into her words. Dan was her person and he was gone. Even if she wouldn’t let herself grieve openly, it was obvious that she missed him.

"I’m really sorry about Dan."

"Why? You didn’t kill him. You didn’t fall asleep when you were meant to be on watch."

"You didn’t kill him either. Falling asleep is not a cardinal sin. You were tired."

"Whatever." She rolled her eyes. "I want to be alone, Nadine."

It was the first time she had ever referred to me by my name before. It didn’t look like much, but it was a victory for me.

I gave her a small smile and stood to my feet.

As soon as I was within reach of Caine, his brows rose in silent question. All I could muster was a shrug. I thought it went well.

"Do you have any water?" I asked but before he could respond, Jennifer spoke from behind me.

"Use mine."

She didn’t even wait for me to respond before throwing it. It all happened too fast and I flinched, waiting for the sound of the bottle hitting the ground but it never came. When I opened my eyes, Rowan had one hand out, holding the bottle mere inches from my face.

"You’re welcome," he drawled, lifting it to his lips and taking a sip before handing it to me. "It tastes like shit."

Jennifer rolled her eyes. "I’m sorry, were you expecting a five star service?"

He looked like he wanted to say more but he kept silent and I took the water from him and sipped. He was right, it did taste like shit, but it was all we had and I couldn’t complain.

We walked for a while, Rowan and I sharing the water because Jennifer had another.

I hated the idea of going back into the woods, but we didn’t have much of a choice. We had to begin searching for the bunker and that was the only way to do it.

Navigating the terrain felt harder than the last time. My legs felt heavier and my mind felt fuzzy. I tried to assure myself that I was just out of practice but that didn’t seem like it.

"Can we stop?" I managed out after what felt like hours. "I feel like I’m going to throw up."

"Are you okay?" Rowan asked and I nodded slowly.

"I just need a break."

I sank to the ground, laying my head against a tree. "I just need a minute, please."

I couldn’t remember much after that but when next I opened my eyes, it was dark.

My head was pounding as if someone turned it into a construction site and my limbs felt unnaturally heavy.

My first thought was that they left me and I tried to push to my feet but my legs hit something- or rather, someone.

Blinking back the blurriness, I took in my surroundings and found Rowan lying on the ground in front of me. I nudged him again with my foot but he only stirred. Rowan was not a deep sleeper so he was definitely knocked out.

"Jen?" I whispered but got no response and as I looked around, I realized I couldn’t find her as well as over half our things. "Fuck."

I pushed to my feet and dragged myself over to Rowan. The longer we were out here, the more dangerous it would be for us. We needed to find a cave and we needed to do it fast.

I shook him. "Rowan, wake up, please."

He stirred again, mumbling a few words under his breath. I slapped my hand over his mouth, not wanting him to make any loud noises and shook him again. It felt like hours before he finally opened his eyes and I saw the confusion in them as he took me in.

"Jen is gone. She took our stuff with her."

He sat up instantly, eyes roaming the area. "That fucking bitch. We have to find shelter. Can you find the map?"

It wasn’t on the ground so I checked my pockets. I felt something inside the left one so I pulled it out. It was a folded up piece of paper with perfect cursive on it.

Nadine,

I’m writing this to you because Caine will most likely tear it up without reading.

I had to leave.

I wanted to do it at the house but Caine woke up earlier than I expected and I couldn’t leave so I found some pills and put them in the water. I don’t know how long it’ll knock you out for.

I cannot be stuck in a bunker again. I refuse to live the rest of my life in fear. Dan wouldn’t have wanted that.

You have something beautiful with Caine and he loves you. It will be much easier for you two than it will be for me. I took the map and some supplies. I left you enough to last a few days. I hope you’re able to find somewhere safe.

You’re not the bitch I thought you were, and I should have treated you better.

I’m sorry.

I hope you survive this.

Jennifer.

I showed Rowan the letter.

He ran his fingers through his hair in frustration and muttered a string of expletives under his breath. I knew it took a lot for him not to scream because I wanted to scream.

"Come on," Rowan said finally. "We need to keep moving."

"We barely have anything."

"We’ll figure it out. We’re not going to die here."

"You don’t know that for sure."

He gripped my shoulders.

"We will not die here. Do you understand me?" I nodded and he kissed me slowly. "Let’s go."