Love Among The Ruins-Chapter 71

CAINE’S P.O.V

Neither of us spoke about the baby again.

I was too stunned to form proper sentences and I think Nadine just wanted to pretend like the whole thing wasn’t happening. If it were up to her, she’d probably will it all away and I couldn’t blame her. A baby... fuck.

We lay in bed, neither one of us moving, not even for lunch. I had the who9le day planned, I was going to take her to the training center, and I heard there was a greenhouse somewhere. I figured she’d like the scenery, but right now, all my plans had gone down the drain. I couldn’t bring myself to move.

She was curled up at my side, her hand tightly gripping mine, almost as if she was scared I’d pull away if she let go. She’d somehow fallen asleep but I still didn’t move. I couldn’t risk having her wake up without me here.

I brushed her hair out of her face and kissed her forehead softly. She mumbled a few words under her breath and nestled closer to me, unintentionally pulling my hand towards her stomach. My fingers brushed over her bare skin and I sighed deeply.

I wished I could say that under different circumstances, I’d be fucking ecstatic about a child with her. Even if we lived in a perfect world, I’d still be terrified. I didn’t exactly have the best track record and a part of me was screaming at me to run but I couldn’t imagine being anywhere but here with her.

A baby would complicate things terribly, especially in this bunker, but if she wanted to keep it, I’d be right here.

A knock on the door snapped me out of my thoughts. I ignored it, hoping that whoever it was would take the hint and leave, but they knocked again, louder this time and Nadine stirred. I pulled away from her slowly, trying not to disturb her and pulled the door open more harshly than I needed to. Joshua stood on the other side, his fist raised to knock again.

"Don’t you have better things to do?" I snapped.

"Where’s Nadine?"

"Sleeping, Now get the fuck out."

He raised his hands in surrender. "I just want to make sure that she’s okay. She didn’t look so good earlier. I also didn’t see either of you at dinner. I thought I’d bring something."

It was only then I noticed the paper bag in his hands. He didn’t give me a chance to refuse before shoving it in my hands.

"She needs to eat."

It wasn’t what he said, but it was the way he said it that made me know. My spine straightened, a bitter taste filling my mouth at the idea of Nadine talking to him first. I wondered how the conversation went. Did she confide in him because she trusts him? I had to pull the answer out of her with both hands.

"You know," I said finally. He stilled for a moment before nodding. "Since when?"

"I found out the same time she did."

"She told you?"

"Her father did."

It shouldn’t have made a difference to me but I felt relieved that she didn’t tell him first. Still, the idea of so many people knowing something so personal rubbed me the wrong way. I hated having people in my business, especially people like our fathers.

"I take it he wasn’t pleased."

Joshua snorted. "That’s the understatement of the century. I thought he’d murder you."

"He’s welcome to try."

He laughed and for a moment, it seemed like we were actually getting along. I didn’t trust him, not as far as I could throw him, but Nadine seemed to like him well enough. I still wasn’t sure if he was under the General’s thumb or not, but I was willing to tolerate him for her sake.

"I should go," he said finally, clearing his throat. "I know it’s not my place to give advice."

"Then don’t."

He ignored my obvious dismissal. "You can’t have a baby."

"It’s not my decision to make."

"That’s not what I mean." He sighed deeply. "You’ve had one foot out the door since you walked in here. I’m not stupid and if I’ve noticed, I’m sure others have too. You want to leave. If she’s keeping that baby, you can’t. How are you going to survive out there when she’s pregnant? How will you survive with an infant?"

I pursed my lips and glared at him but he either didn’t notice or didn’t care. I didn’t bother trying to deny his allegations, he wouldn’t believe me if I did. He was right though.

He opened his mouth to say more but was cut off by the sound of footsteps. I turned to find Nadine standing in the doorway wearing nothing but my shirt. She rubbed her hands over her eyes and stretched. I couldn’t stop the corner of my lips from tugging upwards.

"You’re both so loud," she mumbled, padding over to us. "Is everything okay?"

I glanced at Joshua, waiting to see what he’d say. Would he tell her the truth?

He was silent for a long minute before nodding. "Everything is fine. I came to drop by some dinner."

"You’re a life saver. Thank you. I could hug you right now."

He just smiled at her. "I’ll see you around, Nadine."

He tipped his head towards me and walked away, leaving us standing at the doorway. Nadine took the paper bag from me, not noticing the tension that lingered in the air even after he was long gone.

"How long have you been awake?" she asked, snapping me out of my reverie. I shut the door and turned to her.

"I never fell asleep."

She frowned. "You should have woken me up for dinner."

"Next time."

She rolled her eyes as if she didn’t believe me and gestured for me to come to her.

Like a moth to a flame, I drifted towards her without complaint. She gently pushed me into a chair and sat in my lap and my hands found their way around her hips. She took out the food and set it in front of us but I couldn’t care less about that. My eyes were on her the entire time.

Her skin was lighter now than when we were out there. Her freckles stood out more. If I wanted, I could reach out and trace them with my finger, following the patterns like stars in a constellation. Her long lashes fanned her cheeks as she chewed on her bottom lip.

I lifted a hand to her chin, releasing her lip. She froze, her sharp hazel eyes fixed on me. For a long minute, neither of us spoke, we just stared at each other.

"I’m sorry," she blurted out and my head cocked to the side in confusion. "The way I told you and the way I acted after. I was scared."

"It’s okay. Anyone in your position would be scared."

She ran her hands through her hair. "I want this baby, more than anything, but the circumstances don’t make it so easy. What if the bunker falls like the last one? What if we’re left behind? What happens then?"

"I don’t know."

"I know you don’t want to stay here either. You hate it here."

I bristled. "I never said that."

"You didn’t have to, Rowan. I know you." She sighed. "Tell me what to do."

"I can’t."

"Can we see a doctor tomorrow?" she asked slowly. "Maybe I’ll get clarity over there."

I wasn’t sure she’d find what she was looking for with a doctor, but I nodded. "Whatever you want."