Merchant Crab-Chapter 290: The Altar of Potential

“These are way too similar to stairs!” the grumpy crab said as he carefully tried to climb down the jagged edges of the rocks making up the path into the next tunnel.

“Your drake moves on four limbs and seems to have no trouble descending these,” Khargol said, watching Balthazar hesitantly lower another limb onto the next surface below him like someone dipping their toe in water to test its temperature.

“Yeah, well, I have twice as many legs to manage!” the merchant responded. “And falling isn’t a big worry when you’re a flying creature. If I fall, what am I going to do? Swim through the air?!”

“You complain too much,” the orc chieftain said flatly, before setting his sights forward again in a way that indicated that conversation was over as far as he was concerned.

“No, I don’t,” Balthazar grumbled, before turning to Kole. “Hey, my joints are getting tired! I thought you said we were at the altar already. Where is it?”

“Here, I said we were,” the kobold replied from atop Thunk’s shoulder. “The altar chamber, this tunnel entrance is. Close, we are.”

“Close is relative when you’re being carried,” the crab muttered.

“I know, right?” said Joshua, appearing next to Balthazar and staring longingly at the barbarian in front of them. “I wish she was carrying me on her shoulder like that too.”

“What?!” exclaimed the merchant, glaring at the farmer boy with a mixture of disbelief and discomfort. “Kid, you worry me in all the wrong ways.”

After walking and bickering for another ten minutes—or one hour, if asking the crab—the group arrived at the spot where the tunnel opened up into another chamber.

The underhall was large enough that they could not see its edges within the sphere of light produced by their torches and lanterns, and the air was stuffy, with mild notes of aged mold that gave it that genuine feeling of a place nobody had visited in a very long time.

“Withered, the glowing mushrooms have,” said Kole, hopping off Thunk’s shoulder and looking around. “Natural lights, we will not have.”

“Well, alright. Which way is your fancy altar?” Balthazar asked.

“Sure, I am not. Nearby, somewhere.”

“Wait, what? I thought you’d know this place, you live here! Besides, didn’t you tell us earlier that you can see in the dark?”

“Large place, the mines are,” the cave dweller said, eyes still scanning the pitch black surrounding them. “Rare, a visit to this chamber is. Better than you, I can see in darkness. But perfect and limitless, my dark vision is not.”

“Grrrreeeat… So now what?” the crabby crab said.

“For the altar, we must search.”

Balthazar sighed.

“Alright, well, you guys go ahead and start looking,” he said, moving toward a flat stone surface by the edge of the light. “I’ll take a tactical rest to… strategize. Yes, that’s it. Shout when you find this altar.”

Standing by the edge of the flat slab that was at about eye-level with him, the crab threw his backpack onto it first, and then hopped on the surface himself, planning to take a well deserved nap until the others found what they were looking for.

“I need to ponder on what item I’ll place on this altar. Maybe my spork? I wonder what would happen if I placed my monocle on it? Oh! Or even better, I could place an old and cheap weapon on it, and then whatever it turns into would sell for a guaranteed fortune. Pure profit! Yes, that’s the move!”

Just as he was about to lean against the bag to rest his eyestalks, a white flash startled Balthazar, causing him to clumsily hop down from the stone surface and nearly fall upside down.

Spinning his eyes, the crab saw that the source of the flash was his own backpack—it was glowing a blinding white that flooded the entire cave with light.

“Ah. The Altar of Potential, you have found,” Kole said, scampering closer from a dark corner, his expression way too casual, considering the amount of glowing going on. “Quick, that was.”

“What?!” the merchant exclaimed, his eyes going back and forth between the kobold and the increasingly brighter backpack. “That dirty flat stone is your altar? I thought it would be some fancy and grandiose thing, not something that looks like a kobold picnic table!”

“Big to kobolds, the altar looks,” the orange reptilian said. “More important than fancy, other things are to us.”

“Like what, the flatness of it?!” Balthazar looked at his pack again, which, in addition to glowing blindingly white, was now starting to levitate from the stone surface. “This thing better not blow up my stuff!”

The rest of the group gathered behind the crab, watching as the bag continued to glow and float in the air, now even whipping up a whirlwind around the altar, and the crab heard a “purdy” escape Thunk’s mouth as she gawked at it.

Then, as the whole spectacle started to produce a dramatic humming sound too, a system notification popped up in Balthazar’s sight.

[Altar of Potential]

[The altar pours your own potential into your heirloom, unlocking its full power to best suit its owner.]

[Backpack of Holding Stuff & Things has been upgraded into a unique item!]

[The Crab Bag]

[Equipment - Backpack]

[What’s inside? Who knows! But it could be useful in a pinch!]

[Can hold a nearly unlimited amount of items, but each one will still weigh 1% of its original weight.]

[Whenever you need it most, reach inside and the bag will produce the item that will serve you best, even if it’s not the one you wanted. Or even one you remember ever storing in there.]

The humming suddenly ceased, the wind disappeared, the glowing stopped, and the bag simply fell back down onto the flat stone, motionless and unassuming.

“What the…” the crustacean said, approaching the altar with caution and suspicion.

The bag looked almost the same at first glance, but upon closer inspection, some fine details were definitely different.

The rough leather and other materials that had been used to put together and expand what once was Henrietta’s bag of holding and later had been modified into a backpack fit for a crab, looked brand new now.

Immaculate cloth and smooth leather in a patchwork of colors were stitched together with thick sutures, no longer straining at the seams. The scratches and marks from all the traveling and being handled by someone with pincers for hands were gone, too. And to Balthazar’s secret amusement, the metal latches of the backpack were now shaped like miniature crab claws.

He loved it.

But naturally, he wasn’t about to just say that.

“It looks nicer, but the upgrade took away the smell of bread it used to have,” the crab said as he peeked inside the bag. “Alright, the first item was an accident, but now I’ll make sure to upgrade something actually—”

If you spot this story on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.

“Another upgrade, you cannot have,” said Kole.

“Why not?!” the merchant blurted out, turning to him.

The kobold produced a half shrug.

“Only one upgrade per adventurer, the altar allows.”

“But why?” the frustrated crustacean whined. “Who came up with that arbitrary rule?!”

“The way it is, it just is,” the underground dweller said plainly.

Grumbling, the crab pulled the backpack down from the altar, and immediately a thick knee passed in front of his eyestalks, nearly hitting him.

“Hey!”

“Me next!” Thunk exclaimed enthusiastically as she stomped toward the stone slab with a grin stretching from ear to ear.

“Yeah, you’re welcome for my wasted turn, by the way,” Balthazar said, stepping back. “Thanks to my sacrifice, you at least know to not waste your one chance at upgrading that big hammer of yours.”

The barbarian reached up with both hands, grabbed the sides of her toy helmet, and pulled it off, causing a long mess of platinum blonde hair to fall over her wide back like a tangled curtain.

Balthazar heard a faint sigh come from Joshua a few paces to his left, and a look of distaste pinched the crab’s expression as he glared at the farmer boy.

Still grinning, the tall adventurer brought the novelty item down, its snapped horn dangling precariously from the front, and gently placed it on the altar.

“Aaaaand she’s going to upgrade that useless helmet instead of her weapon,” the crab bemoaned, rolling his eyes. “Sure, why not! I don’t really know what else I expected.”

Thunk took a step back and clapped her hands in excitement as the piece of wood wrapped in foil paper started glowing brightly.

After a few seconds, the helmet began to levitate, its surface becoming a blinding white that made looking at it as difficult as staring at the sun.

And then the light ceased suddenly and the piece of headgear dropped back down with a clank.

A clank of metal.

Balthazar peeked from behind the muscular woman with his monocled eyestalk and saw the helmet sitting on the stone. Not only was its horn fixed back into place, but the entire item looked brand new. What a moment before was wood wrapped in foil was now real, sturdy metal in a skull shape, and the painted horn was now longer and appeared to be made of real ivory, ending in a sharp, threatening point.

Whatever the altar had done to it, the helmet was clearly no toy anymore.

[The Unique Horn]

[Equipment - Headgear]

[An unbreakable helmet that enables its wearer to charge at targets and deal piercing damage that scales with how much the horn is glowing. The horn’s glow scales with the wearer’s morale. The wearer’s morale scales with how much butt they’re kicking.]

The blonde barbarian ran up to the altar and reclaimed her treasured item, smiling widely at it before forcefully shoving it back onto her head.

“Purdy!” Thunk exclaimed, turning to the others and giving a toothy grin along with a thumbs up.

“Marvelous!” said Hannabeth. “I shall have a go next!”

Balthazar turned to the knight and prepared to open his backpack.

“I think I gave away my last mace recently. It was kind of rusty too. But let me check if I can find you a good weapon in my wares.”

“No need, good merchant!” the boastful adventurer said, pulling her cracked shield from her back. “I shall empower my most precious artifact upon this altar!”

The merchant froze, staring at her with one claw halfway into the bag.

“You mean that shield? That shoddy wooden shield that you painted silver? That shield that one of the ogres cracked with one blow?”

“The very same!” Hannabeth replied, her voice expressing the proud smile she was sporting under her closed helmet. “Do you like it? I even added some shiny glass gems to the edges for decoration. They’re not actually enchanted, but if I use 1 mana, they light up in a nifty pattern of red, green, and blue!”

“Awesome…” the crab said, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

Which went right over the adventurer’s bucket helmet.

“Thank you!” she said, before marching on to the altar and placing the broken item on its surface.

After some more glowing and ominous levitation, the shield landed back on the slab with a heavy thump.

As with the helmet, it was now completely fixed, and rebuilt into a real metal round shield.

A perfect silver circle with complex patterns engraved on its surface, ending on a thicker edge decorated with genuine precious gems in a specific order that repeated all around—rubies, emeralds, and sapphires.

[The Believer’s Ward]

[Weapon - Shield]

[An unbreakable shield, able to ward up to the full measure of any physical blow dealt against it whilst the bearer standeth in a defensive stance, its strength scaling with the wielder’s faith. Each strike it turneth aside doth charge the enchanted gems therein. Should the bearer bash a foe with the shield, it unleasheth an assault that converteth all gathered charges into magical harm.]

“It’s exactly how I always imagined it!” Hannabeth exclaimed gleefully, picking the shield up with both hands and holding it out in front of her visor.

“Well, I’ll be damned…” Balthazar muttered, adjusting his monocle while nodding his shell.

“Boss?” a sheepish voice asked from behind the crab. “Can… Can Druma go next?”

The eight-legged merchant turned around to see his goblin assistant looking at him with wide, bright eyes while holding his staff with both hands.

“Sure, buddy, go on,” Balthazar said. “But just to be sure—you are going to upgrade your staff, and not, I don’t know… your pants, or something silly like that?”

“Yes, yes, boss!” the goblin said, nodding vigorously.

Druma ran up to the slab and, standing on the tips of his toes, gingerly placed his Staff of Arcane Bolts on the altar.

“Well, this is about to turn into one hell of a magical staff,” the crab said, crossing his arms as he waited for the light show to start.

Except it didn’t.

“B-boss?” Druma asked, turning to Balthazar with a sad expression. “Is Druma doing something wrong?”

The merchant frowned.

“I don’t think so? Try focusing on it, or something, maybe?”

The goblin shut his eyes tight and closed his hands into fists held out in front of his chest.

“Work, it will not,” said Kole, stepping to the side of the goblin wizard and placing a hand on his shoulder. “Mighty, the hero is. But to adventurers only, the altar works.”

“What?! Seriously? Who makes up these rules?!” Balthazar exclaimed, throwing his claws out in protest.

The kobold shrugged. “The gods, perhaps?”

“Bah…” the annoyed crustacean spat, before turning to Khargol. “You want to try placing your axe on it, just to be sure?”

The orc, who was watching the events in his usual cross-armed stance, scoffed quietly.

“You heard the kobold. This altar only works for those so-called chosen ones. They can keep it. My battleaxe was forged by the best smiths of my kind, and sharpened by the most skilled hands among our tribe’s wives. I have no need for this altar’s magic.”

“Alright, suit yourself, tough guy,” the crab said with sass as he walked away.

Druma retrieved his staff from the altar and walked away from it, head down, bottom of the staff dragging on the ground behind him.

“Hey, buddy, don’t look so sad,” Balthazar said, feeling bad for his assistant. “Your staff is already pretty great even without an upgrade. Did you not see how big and awesome your kaboom was back there?! Listen to Khargol, you don’t need this altar, leave it to those silly adventurers who need performance enhancements!”

The goblin tried to force a smile, but the crab could tell he was still bummed out about not getting his own unique upgrade.

It wasn’t fair.

Why did adventurers always get all the advantages? They could level up, they got to use scrolls to learn new skills, they could get magical upgrades on altars like that. Meanwhile, locals were always stuck at the same level and unable to use half the advantages those fools took for granted. What was the point of that arbitrary system rule?

Joshua, who was watching everything from the side, scratched his head, looking confused.

“Wait, but if the altar only works on items from adventurers…” he said. “How come it upgraded Balthazar’s backpack when he placed it on the slab?”

The merchant’s eyestalks jumped, and he scrambled to turn to the farmer.

“Uhh, right, I see where your confusion about that might be coming from,” the crab said nervously. “But there’s a very easy explanation for it… One I’m going to give to you… In a way that you will understand… and clear everything… Aaaand—”

A huge blast shook the entire chamber, nearly knocking the group off their feet and causing dust to fall from the ceiling.

“Oh, thank goodness, saved by the explosion!” Balthazar said. “I mean… Oh, no! What was that and is everyone alright?”

“It came from behind that wall,” Joshua yelled, pointing to the other end of the altar room.

Banging and the sound of rocks breaking could now be heard from behind the stone wall, and Kole scampered closer, spear in hand and eyes wide.

“Found us again, the ogres have. To finish us, they came.”

The blasting was quickly growing closer, and cracks started appearing on the wall.

Thunk tapped on the top of her upgraded helmet and then gripped her warhammer with both hands while growling.

“Me ready!”

“And ye may count on my shield, friend!” Hannabeth exclaimed.

Before the two adventurers could take their first step toward the wall, Balthazar skittered in front of them.

“No, no, no, no, no!” he said, waving his pincers in front of the two women. “You’re not going to make the same mistakes you did in the first fight!”

[Leader’s Voice activated]

“This time, we’re going to fight with a plan, and like a team!”