MTL - Borrowing a Kiss-Chapter 49 sorry

The author has something to say: Cen Nan's principle is...

"Will you stay with me again, Qiuqiu?"

I don't know how long it took, Cen Nan let go of him, pressed against Liang Muqiu's forehead, touched the tip of his nose intimately, and asked again softly.

Liang Muqiu's hand grabbed Cen Nan's shirt, gripping so hard, the buttons on the shirt were shaky, and finally broke in his palm.

Liang Muqiu stared at the button.

The button is taken off and handed to others, it is a silent confession.

Cen Nan scoffed at this kind of silly activity. Occasionally one or two daring girls came up to ask him for it, and he just said coldly, "No."

Liang Muqiu wanted to move, but dared not speak.

But he didn't expect that his button disappeared first.

After taking the graduation photo, he took off his school uniform jacket and put it on his seat. As a result, just after noon, the second button on it disappeared.

He never knew who took it.

Until he lived with Cen Nan, one afternoon, in the box where Cen Nan kept his watch cufflinks, he saw the plain white button, worn by a red thread, solemnly In the middle of a pile of expensive jewelry.

Liang Muqiu suddenly laughed out of time.

He looked up at Cen Nan, holding the shirt button he just pulled down in his hand, and asked Cen Nan in a low voice, "Do you remember, when you graduated from high school, you stole my school uniform button ?"

Cen Nan took a few seconds to realize what Liang Muqiu was asking, and nodded slowly.

"Is it still there?"

Cen Nan felt like he was being asked a life-threatening question for a moment. If he didn't answer well, he would be swept out by Liang Muqiu.

But he nodded affirmatively, "Yes."

Even in this room.

He glanced at Liang Muqiu hesitantly, he didn't want to leave Liang Muqiu's side now, as if he was afraid that this person would suddenly disappear.

He walked quickly to the bedside table, opened the third cabinet, took out a velvet box, and then handed it to Liang Muqiu and opened it.

The place where the jewelry should be lying is a cheap button that no one picks up when it falls on the ground.

Liang Muqiu chuckled and shook her head.

He really lost to Cen Nan.

Things that I didn't think of at first appeared in this bedroom, when Cen Nan confessed to him.

This is probably fate.

It is not wrong for him to fall into the hands of Cen Nan.

"I can promise you," Liang Muqiu wiped her face, tears on the back of her hands, cold, "but I think you still owe me an explanation."

He looked at Cen Nan with red eyes.

At this moment, he did not feel like he was in this long-awaited bedroom, but returned to the Ben Thanh Airport seven years ago.

From that day on, it was like a wound was opened in his heart, and he never felt better.

After Cen Nan returned to China, he hugged and kissed this man, but avoided talking about what happened seven years ago. He didn't want to listen to Cen Nan's explanation, because he was in too much pain. Way to take care of Cen Nan.

But now, in this bedroom, he thought he could listen.

He asked softly, "Why didn't you want me back then?"

When he said these words, he didn't even realize how aggrieved his voice was. Tears were shaky in his eyes, but they didn't fall in the end. Looking at Cen Nan.

He was questioning the man from seven years ago.

He did nothing wrong, he just took his lover to the airport, and when he came back, everything was turned upside down.

Cen Nan is not his.

The love and commitment of the year seemed to have also turned into ashes and scattered lightly.

Cen Nan was nailed to the spot by this sentence.

He knew that he and Liang Muqiu could not avoid facing this problem after all, but he stared at Liang Muqiu with a pale face, not knowing where to start.

Or maybe he was in the winter in Chicago, in the ward, holding his grandma's hand, lying calmly, saying that he had no intention of falling in love, but he was refuting in his heart, no, I have a lover Now, his name is Liang Muqiu, and he is a very lovable boy.

Too many.

But there seems to be nothing that can be told to Liang Muqiu.

He turned his face away from Liang Muqiu's line of sight, his face was tense, and he gritted his teeth.

This look is very familiar to Liang Muqiu.

When there was something that Cen Nan didn't want to say, he did it.

Liang Muqiu's nose and eyes were red, but she didn't force him, just lowered her head and whispered, "You know, I went to the United States to find you."

Cen Nan looked back in disbelief.

Liang Muqiu thought she would never talk about this in her life, it was too embarrassing and too painful.

But he still said, "It was half a year after you broke up with me, I bought a plane ticket to the United States and went to the student apartment you told me. I don't know where you live. In which room, you didn't tell me, I was waiting downstairs. A lot of students came in and out, I stood under the tree like a fool, I don't know if you will come back, have you moved, No one answered your phone. Later, I waited until it was dark, and I didn't wait for you."

He sucked his nose and forced his voice not to tremble, "I didn't wait for you, but I saw Ruan Zhuxian, she came out of that building with a lot of things in her hands. At that moment, I couldn't hold on any longer."

He looked up at Cen Nan.

It was obviously summer, but the moment he saw Ruan Zhuxian, he felt cold all over his body, like falling into an ice cave.

Now he knows that Ruan Zhuxian and Cen Nan are not together, but he didn't know it at the beginning.

He didn't even know how he left the United States. He sat on the plane in despair. The flight attendant passed by him several times and asked him if he needed help.

Because he looked so embarrassed, he looked like a depressed drug addict, with red eyes, disheveled hair and chapped lips, like he was going to die in the next second.

Cen Nan took half of his life away.

But he always shook his head and rejected the flight attendant's kindness.

The flight attendant had no choice but to pour him a glass of water, patted him sympathetically and softly, "Sir, everything will be fine."

Recalling that day now, Liang Muqiu is still heartbroken, and he himself feels pitiful.

But with tears in his eyes, he still smiled at Cen Nan and flipped the page lightly, "Look at you, it hurts me so much, but you don't even tell me an explanation. "

These words almost penetrated Cen Nan's heart.

His body shook and looked at Liang Muqiu with a pale face, "I'm not...I'll tell you what you want to know."

It was getting dark.

Liang Muqiu sat on the bed, the quilt was messed up by him, like a temporary nest, he was a bird nesting in it.

Cen Nan stood opposite him, leaning against the wall, briefly forgetting his gentlemanly manner, lit a cigarette, and held it between his lips.

He needs nicotine to calm himself, so that he can slowly talk about these seven years, but when he opened his mouth, he realized how dry his voice was.

"Before I went abroad, I didn't know that I would be separated from you. Originally I only wanted to go abroad to exchange for half a year, but my parents quarreled with me and wanted me to go directly to the University of Chicago. We quarreled It was very serious, and their attitude was very firm. They had reached the point where I would cut off ties with me if I didn’t go. At that time, you persuaded me not to make trouble with them. I could come back after I finished university, and it would be two years soon. "

Liang Muqiu nodded hesitantly, of course he remembered that they had doubted whether Cen Nan's parents would know anything, but Cen Nan's parents never mentioned anything and only cared about schoolwork.

Since Cen Nan was going to exchange, he thought about it, let Cen Nan go, he was very confident that his relationship with Cen Nan would not be affected by foreign countries.

Cen Nan said with an expressionless face, "So I went, I thought two years would be very fast, two years later, I will get my degree certificate, I will save the original funds, and I will be able to take you to the United States for settlement. But I didn't expect that as soon as I landed in the United States, within two months, they began to force me to break up with you. Before I went abroad, they already knew that I was in love with a man, I was gay, and they wanted to separate us by using The way we cut off communication."

When Cen Nan said this, his stomach twitched, and the smell of tobacco choked into his trachea, causing him to cough a few times.

There was no trace of tears on his face, only a kind of coldness that fell into the past.

He said it very plainly, but Liang Muqiu's heart sank abruptly, thinking of something else, he went to Razenan in almost panic, and looked at him again from top to bottom, " Did they do anything to you?"

Cen Nan lowered his eyes, flashing past the white wall, colorful pills in his hand, and a blood-stained knife.

"No," he said flatly, and patted Liang Muqiu on the back of his hand, as if comforting, "Homosexuality is legal abroad, what can they do. But seeing that I never break up with you, They found someone to monitor me, afraid that I would go back to China to find you, and the whole year was very bad, and I scolded the most swear words in my life."

He looked at Liang Muqiu and even smiled, "But at that time it was not hopeless at all. I always thought, when I get my diploma, I will fly away. If you like the United States, we will Live there for a few years, if you don't like it, we will go back to China directly, and I will go wherever you go from now on, whoever the Cen family likes will want, I will be a member of the Liang family in life, and a ghost of the Liang family in death."

Liang Muqiu was amused by this sentence, her eyes were still red, the corners of her mouth couldn't help but lift up again, and she glanced at Cen Nan angrily.

Although Cen Nan said it lightly, he knew that in that year, it was definitely not as easy as Cen Nan said.

He held Cen Nan's hand and asked hesitantly, "And then...why didn't you come back?"

Later.

These two words are really unpleasant.

Cen Nan was silent for a while, and said the reason in the most restrained tone.

"Later, my grandmother got colon cancer, middle and advanced stage."

Liang Muqiu was stunned.

Cen Nan can now calmly say this, "Actually, there is no special story. My grandma had colon cancer and came to the United States for treatment. Outside the icu, my dad asked me if I want you or my grandma. If I choose you, I will kneel in front of my grandma when grandma is out of the emergency room, and tell my grandma who has cancer that I am in love with a man , from now on, it has nothing to do with the Cen family. He will not let me, an unfilial son, meet grandma again. If something happens to grandma, he will not even tell me where grandma is buried. And if I choose grandma, I'm breaking up with you immediately."

The white corridor and the lights outside the emergency room were almost the nightmare of his life.

Winter is here, and it snows in Chicago. He once wanted to bring Liang Muqiu to Chicago to see Lake Michigan.

But instead of waiting for Liang Muqiu, he broke up with Liang Muqiu in Chicago, and he didn't even have a face-to-face, only a phone call.

He heard Liang Muqiu cry.

The one he loves the most, the one he swore to protect for a lifetime.

On the other end of the phone begging him not to let him.

At that moment, he really experienced the pain in his internal organs, his heart seemed to be smashed, but he couldn't say a word.

Because behind him is grandma's ward.

His grandma once had an older brother who ran away from home decades ago because she fell in love with a man, and has never been heard from again. His grandmother has been avoiding this matter, pretending that there is no such brother, but she is still calling his brother's name when she is unconscious, begging him to come back.

He couldn't tell her, who had just come back from death, that I too fell in love with a boy and wanted to give up everything for him.

He can leave the Cen family, but he can't abandon his only dying relatives.

He has no choice.

And now that his grandmother has been buried in the ground, he returned to this familiar Bencheng.

Cen Nan stretched out his hand and touched Liang Muqiu's face. After so many years, his Qiuqiu didn't seem to have changed much from that year, and he was still so gentle and so soft-hearted.

But he's broken.

When he stood in front of Liang Muqiu, he had already changed beyond recognition, and he was no longer the person Liang Muqiu had loved.

"I'm sorry," he almost bit his lip to bleed, and said to Liang Muqiu, "I didn't choose you."