My Stepbrother, My Enemy {BL}-Chapter 184: To Run Away From Your Desires (BC)

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I cleared my throat, the scratchy sound too loud in the stillness of his room, but no words came out.

"Okay," I barely whispered, turning toward the door while my hand instinctively reached for the handle. I had to get out—get away before the tension between us pulled me under again, before my body’s desires convinced my mind to betray itself.

Because, oh God, I wanted him to stop me.

I wanted him to close the distance between us, spin me around, and kiss me like he had before...wild and carefree, as if nothing else mattered beyond those walls. I wanted to forget Ethan’s gentle smile, my mom’s trusting eyes, and every single rule that told me this was wrong. The longing felt sinful, heavy, and intoxicating, curling low in my stomach and making my fingers shake against the cold doorknob.

But I couldn’t give in. Not with so much at stake...Ethan’s heart, our parents’ happiness, the fragile peace we’d all been pretending to uphold.

I walked away without looking back, forcing myself not to see the hurt written all over his face this time, no mask of anger or practiced indifference, just quiet pain that mirrored the ache in my own chest. It made me feel like the worst kind of person, the one who keeps hurting someone already so deeply wounded.

I felt like a terrible person...

My hand gripped the knob, and I was just about to pull the door open when the question that had been eating at me all day finally slipped out.

Stopping, tense shoulders, I turned back to face him.

"Did you have anything to do with the boys being in jail... and Vanessa moving out of Willow Haven so suddenly?"

Adrien leaned against the dresser, arms crossed loosely, moonlight casting sharp lines across his bare chest. He stayed silent for what felt like forever, his eyes glued to the floor before finally letting out a slow, reluctant sigh.

"Yeah," he said, the word heavy, like it took something from him to admit it.

My heart raced. I hadn’t expected him to say it outright. "And Vanessa... was she in on it too?"

He nodded, jaw clenched. "I had no idea she could go that far for me," he replied quietly, disgust creeping into his voice.

"But yeah. She was the one who thought it would be some twisted proof of loyalty that night...targeting you specifically was her idea. She wasn’t in most of the videos, though, no direct evidence. So when things got tight, her family just... left. They avoided the scandal before it could touch her."

I wrapped my arms around myself, the chill from the hallway creeping in through the open door.

Of course she was involved, I suppose her hatred of me surpassed what I thought.

"So she gets off the hook?"

"For now," he said, voice flat. "But you don’t have to worry about anyone finding out you were involved. I know the last thing you want is for the whole town to gossip about what almost happened."

He met my gaze, steady and serious. "I have a connection at Willow Haven PD. I made sure your name stays out of it—no reports, no statements, nothing that could come back to you."

Relief washed over me, unexpectedly warm, loosening the tightness in my chest that I hadn’t even realized was there. A small, grateful smile crept onto my lips, despite everything.

"Thank you," I said softly, meaning it more than I could express. "I really... I didn’t want anyone to know. Ever."

Adrien shook his head, stepping away from the dresser and moving just a bit closer, enough distance so I didn’t feel trapped.

"Yeah I figured, and you don’t need to thank me," he said, his voice low and rough, laced with what sounded like regret. "All this happened to you because of me, because I was too much of a idiot to notice what my so-called friends were up to. Those girls in the videos... they deserved justice. I just finally did what any decent person should’ve done a long time ago."

I studied him in the dim light...his tense shoulders, the way he couldn’t quite hold my gaze for too long and felt something shift within me. Underneath all the anger and bravado, beneath the years of cruelty he wore like armor, I could see there was a good person there. Maybe better than he believed himself to be.

"Still," I said quietly, "you’re a good person, Adrien."

His expression flickered, surprise, maybe disbelief and for a moment, he looked younger, more vulnerable than I’d ever seen. Then he managed a small, sad smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes.

Who would have thought I’d be the one saying those words to Asshole Adrien?

"Goodnight, Noah," he murmured, his tone soft and regretful.

I nodded, throat tight. "Goodnight."

I stepped into the hallway and closed the door behind me, the click echoing in the silence. The walk back to my room felt longer than ever, each step heavy with questions that had no answers.

How to make things right. How to untangle the mess of my heart without breaking everyone else’s in the process. How to look in the mirror tomorrow and not despise the person staring back.

I crawled into bed, pulling the covers up to my chin, and stared at the ceiling long after the house had gone quiet. Christmas lights twinkled softly through my curtains, innocent and bright, while inside me, everything felt completely the opposite.

I lay in the dark for what seemed like hours, watching the holiday lights outside my window cast soft, colorful patterns on the ceiling. Each time I felt tears about to spill, those colors blurred together. The house was completely silent now, the deep Christmas Eve quiet turning every creak of the old floors into a confession.

My conversation with Adrien played over and over in my mind...his hesitant confession about the arrests and Vanessa, the sincerity in his voice when he said I mattered more than anything, and the way he looked at me, like I had the power to either break him or save him.

Eventually, when the clock on my nightstand glowed past one a.m. and sleep still wouldn’t come, I reached for my phone plugged into the charger. The screen lit up too brightly, making me squint, so I dimmed it before opening the message thread with Ethan.

The texts scrolled endlessly, laying out the past few months in little blue and green bubbles.

Good-morning selfies he sent from his car before school, blurry but full of smiles.

Silly memes at lunch that made me laugh out loud in the cafeteria.

Flirty comments about how cute my messy hair looked.

Long messages after dates, sharing how much he loved holding my hand and how eager he was for the next time we’d see each other.

I love you’s popping up more often lately, always paired with heart emojis and kissing faces.

Good-night messages that ended with sweet dreams and reminders that he was thinking of me.

Every single one was kind. Every single one was real. Every single one made the guilt on my chest feel heavier.

I scrolled all the way to his last message from tonight...a simple,

Ethan💙💖: Goodnight, handsome. Can’t wait to see you soon ❤️

And my thumb hovered over the keyboard for what felt like an eternity, my heart racing in the quiet.

I knew what I needed to do. I couldn’t keep dragging this out, couldn’t keep letting kisses and almost build up behind his back while he sent me texts like these. Gigi’s words from the ice cream shop echoed in my head: I refuse to be a cheater. And Adrien’s quieter truth: Kissing someone else is still cheating.

With a heavy heart and fingers that felt clumsy from exhaustion and nerves, I slowly typed:

Me: Hey, can we talk tomorrow after school if you’re not too busy with your dad’s company?

I stared at those words for a minute, my thumb shaking above the send button. Once I pressed it, there would be no going back. No more pretending everything was okay.

I hit send.