Nexus Awakened (An Isekai LitRPG Gender Bender Story)-Chapter 1083. Alone In The Dark Again
Cold.
The first thought that came to Jury’s mind when she regained control over her body was that it was cold. The absence of warmth and the darkness surrounding her took her back to a place she had once called home.
The Black Forest. That starless place’s misery returned to her as she tried to feel out the darkness. Hands reached into the unknown, clasping at air as a choked voice called out for the one person she wanted to see the most.
“Frost!”
Of course, Frost was not here. No amount of shouting would change that. She tried to run, but the darkness paralyzed her. Her eyes wandered to the skies in search of a glimmer of a star, and into the distance for a ray of sunlight.
She slumped onto the ground. It was a mirror that showed the halo-wearing version of herself. Hands slammed against mirror. The other Jury was trying to break free from her prison but to no avail.
“Jury! O’ Jury! Is this the future you wanted? You’ll be stuck in black forests after black forests until you realize that you cannot let mind be brittle!” She berated with a voice wrapped in equal parts desperation and bargaining.
Jury didn’t reply. Her eyes scanned the world again, in search of Frost. Her ears flapped, hoping to pick up her voice. But alas, she was severed from the outside world. Not even Nav could communicate with her.
The tip of her slammed the ground, hoping it would do something. It quickly slithered around her as she brought her knees to her chest.
“… I’ll just wait for Frost.”
“She can’t come in here. No one can. Do you not understand where we are!? You are no different from the Ego of a Star trapped inside of their Gift! Unless she devours this, we’re dying either way. But we can stop this! By just giving in and taking one of the many threads scattered!”
“I can wait. I’m good at waiting. Frost will find me. I trust her.”
“Because she saved you once!? Was she there when the likes of Uriel and Lilith experimented on you!? You are part Qliphoth as you are P-Factor and Light the way you are now! But you can be a Glimmer, free of the stain of Qliphoth, and the rays Light that blinds!”
“I don’t know what to tell Frost after this. She’ll forgive me, because she’s nice like that. But I nearly killed her.”
Jury continued to ignore her reflection’s pleading. Nothing she said could go through Jury. She had already prevailed as the dominant Ego. The fraud in the mirror may as well be fighting its own shadow.
But there was more to it. Jury’s own despair took over. The weight manifested as the darkness surrounding her. Horrible thoughts plagued her mind. Slowly, the tail that wrapped around her felt like a twisted bramble.
She didn’t do anything wrong. She knew that herself. But when left to nothing but her own thoughts in the same place where she was kept imprisoned for 12 years…
… It was almost expected of her to dabble in these thoughts.
She wasn’t tempered like the others or had to undergo a major revelation that changed her moving forward. Sure, she came to terms with herself being separated from Elysia, but she didn’t have much connection to Elysia in the first place.
She was still stuck inside of her egg.
A faint strand suddenly dropped in front of her. It was one last chance for her to take it and uplift herself from her well.
“Take it. Be reborn anew. Manifest destiny. The Fate Mechanism, and the grand Star of Fate and Destiny… they shall show you a way forward that Frost cannot. Why rely on Frost’s uncertainty? Doesn’t it hurt enough, that you must worry every waking hour about her wellbeing?”
“It does.”
“And the burdens of the mind that your clients present to your Atelier?”
“Yes.”
“Then reach for the string. Grasp it. No one is coming for us.”
Debris began to fall. The sloshing of a liquid came from somewhere within. Dust and specks of tiny broken strings also fell. The cocoon was being grinded from outside.
“It will devour us. Unneeded strings and the pulp of the living become material for new strings. You’ll be able to see Frost again if you take it.”
“Frost…”
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Jury reached out for it with her left hand. It was a dark claw. Instead of clasping at the string, she pressed one claw against it.
“What are you doing!?”
“I’m just going to be alone again if I take on this role. Caging Frost… turning people I love into puppets… I’d never able to live with myself.”
“That is because your heart has not hardened to the reality of this world! You think they’ll never die!? They are weaknesses.”
Jury shook her head, recalling the face that approached her despite her warnings.
“Weakness was what brought Frost to find me. I’m trying to do the same.”
“If you were to take that string, then you can reset it all, and she’d never have to be hurt again. Neither yourself, because you would have already experienced it. You’ve come to losing her to Iscario. There are plenty of Spears out there. When one meets its mark, you’ll have no one to blame but yourself.”
Jury wasn’t naïve to believe that Frost wouldn’t one day be met with another Spear of Annihilation. She could only protect Frost’s once with her ring. Neither was she strong enough to protect Frost outright.
Still, Jury did not wish to take the string. However uncertain the future is, however horrible the past was, the present mattered was the path that she walk. Even in the dark, and even as she could not see the path ahead and had to look down at her feet as she walked, she at least knew she wouldn’t do this alone.
Jury hated being alone, almost as much as being in the dark. She took a deep breath, and a serene expression befell her, as though the simple thought of Frost and the others was enough to ward her fears away.
“Turn back the clock. Audit the present. Strive for the future. My motto means to restore. We can’t change the past, but we can try to change the future by how we act in the now. Frost… ahaha… She was a big component of it.”
Disbelief filled the eyes of her reflection before it morphed into unrestrained fury.
“You command time! Your regrets still bleed fresh! But yet, the nature of your regret is not to turn back the clock and reset states!? Restoration unlike the ones of Elysia and the Healers!? That goes against the regret that formed Elysia’s power. Even the teardrop fused with your heart!”
“… I don’t even understand half of what you’re saying. It’s better that I don’t know.”
“Wait–! Don’t–!”
“Goodbye.”
Jury didn’t give her the time to speak again. She severed the string, and the screams were silenced. Her reflection silently slammed against the mirror, hoping to break free. Her fate was set in stone, ironically, by the severing of a string belonging to fate.
Jury’s muscles relaxed. A wave of exhaustion hit her as she let out a long, reprieved sigh. It was shaky, and her shoulders began lightly quivering.
“… This was the right choice.” As certain as her heart was, Jury, who had barely lived a year in this world, could not help but to feel afraid again.
What if Frost truly couldn’t arrive?
Would her being in the Audition save her?
What if it didn’t?
What if her last memory of Frost was impaling her?
It caused the corners of her eyes to sting.
A warm tear tumbled down her cheek.
Then, suddenly, a voice spoke to her.
“You choose to stay the way you are?”
It wasn’t Frost. Nor was it Elysia. There was no ticking either, or the sound of morning birds chirping. The voice was melodic, calm… motherly even.
She didn’t judge Jury.
Her question was closer to a statement.
“Who…? Nav?” Her ears perked up.
“The person in the mirror, however distorted it is, still reflects oneself.”
“Attachment is a cruel curse that binds the unwilling to events unrelated to us. Beliefs of old will carry on to generations of the future. Someday, they will forget the reasons of traditions, because it has always been this way.”
“But at its core, beyond the Obsession, is the Attachment of oneself.”
The voice brought her comfort. To the cold, it was warmth.
And to the Jury who was left in the dark, it was light.
The voice had Healer-like mannerisms as well.
Faintly, ever so faintly, she could make out the faintest outline of a woman standing just at the edge of the darkness. She was no taller than her, and her hair was long and dark.
She could also faintly make out sky-blue eyes, and white hair that held black spots like those found in the Black Wings.
Jury had seen this person before.
“You’ve grown, my child.”
“Do I know you…? You seem familiar….”
Suddenly, her senses were filled with a rosy smell.
She inadvertently uttered a name.
“Evelyn…?”
An imperceptible smile formed on the woman’s face. She took a step towards Jury. The light of her eyes painted the woman, revealing the same person she had seen in a distant memory.
It was Evelyn, the lady who took care of her during her first 14 years outside of the Black Forest.
“Are you real…?”
The woman tilted her head and gave her a warm look. Then, she placed a hand onto Jury’s head, and a wave of nostalgia flowed through her.
“That is for you to decide. One’s Nexus is another person’s tree. I didn’t expect to meet you here. Less face to face with the reflection of the Looking Glass.”
“In here…? This is a place?”
“Not quite. It’s more accurate to say I happened to stumble upon you. Oh Jury, what could have led you to arrive here?
“We…” Jury was taken aback.
A pair of arms suddenly warped around her head, and she was pulled into the chest of this person. The woman’s pale lab coat was eerily cold, but her touch was warmer than anything she had ever felt. She was peace in this person’s embrace.
“… We were brought in… By Act X. I was taken over by the person in the mirror. Can I ask you why you’re here? Or what are you? Frost can’t even enter.”
“A walker between planes and worlds. A specter who rarely interrupts unless it concerns a child of mine.”
“… You keep calling me child. Am I… to you?”
