Pretending to Be an Untouchable Crime Boss-Chapter 241: Tears of Anger.

"Benjamin, you know what happened in the last two months, but let’s say the last month?" James asked as he looked at him with the tiredness in his eyes, and his voice now was low like he just got angry, like all of this was fucking fueling him to crash the fuck out.

"I know, but–" freёnovelkiss-com

"No." James put up his finger, interrupting Benjamin and staring straight in his eyes, now his voice higher and more threatening. "You don’t know. You can’t sympathize. You can’t understand the feeling, you know why?"

Benjamin now shook his head slowly, and even Mike got a little stiff in the front seat.

"Years ago, my best friend died because of my actions. He died because people accused him, because his family was no longer looking at him as one of them. He killed himself with the same gun I gave him... the same fucking gun I personally gave him." James’s eyes were piercing through Benjamin. It was just pure anger, pure frustration, everything that was in him, everything that he pushed deep down. "I wasn’t able to go to the funeral. I just couldn’t do it, to stand there knowing that he blew off his head, because he thought that was the best for him."

"James, I—"

"Shut the fuck up!" He raised his voice. It wasn’t a shout, but it was enough to let everybody know in the car that he ain’t playing no more, he ain’t sweet talking, ain’t thinking about the possibilities. "I buried my little brother. He died because I chose this path, to live like this. I buried Hans, who wasn’t just a bodyguard but a friend and a father. I buried them on the same fucking day!"He couldn’t hold himself together, or more like the anger took over, because now the tears rolled out of his eyes not because he wanted to cry, but because he couldn’t tell the truth without them. "Now my family is in another fucking country. My other friend is in a coma because a fucking cartel decided to attack us, and why did that happen? Why does my family need to be in another country and my friend to lie in a hospital bed, kept alive by machines? Why?"

Benjamin couldn’t answer because it was just too much, those eyes staring deep into his, the tears rolling out not because of sadness, but all the frustration, all the anger. It’s a hole in another situation when somebody cries because of the anger that just puts everything on a whole other level of fucked up.

He knew it very well, that he lost many, lost people close to his heart, lost those who were at least he could chain himself down, those who could accept him, those who could influence him to act in a way to still be grounded, still be a human and not go crazy like Lucian. But they are all dead or somewhere else all because of him... yeah, because of him... or...

"Answer me." Again, James’s voice came, still staring deep in Benjamin’s eyes, his face slowly turning red, his veins popping out on his whole face, and the tears still there. It was like a demon stared at him, who was ready to take his soul, ready to kill whoever was before him... and now it was Benjamin. "What caused all of it? What caused them to die? Was it truly me?"

"I-It wasn’t...." Benjamin spoke in such a low voice that it was more like a whisper, as if the words didn’t even want to come out of his mouth.

Because he knew it too. He knew it deep down that it wasn’t James’s bad decisions that killed them.

"Then?"

"It... was t-them."

Yeah, the truth, that it wasn’t James’s fault. It wasn’t his fault to go out that day with Charlotte, to let Rafael go with Hans. It wasn’t his fault that they were attacked. None of it was his fault. It was the fault of those who were behind it... the government. They knew about it. Even if Benjamin wasn’t even there at that time, he knew it too, that if this whole plan of Linda and William to make the DTA, to save their little bubble from popping, to still be in power where they can steal money, to let them still rule without consequence... if they hadn’t made this plan, and most importantly, if they had just stopped Carter and the police chief, if they had just stopped with their power an unauthorized operation, they wouldn’t have died.

Rafael would still be alive today, as well as Hans, if the government hadn’t started all of this bullshit. If they had been operating like how a true government does, none of this would have happened. There wouldn’t have been gangsters, wouldn’t have been shootings every day, wouldn’t have been a cartel roaming in the city, assassinating the vice fucking president.

They had the time to do it. They had all the fucking time. Especially William, he was re-elected twice and he did nothing, not a single fucking thing to stop the country from descending into total chaos. But he just leaned back and profited from it, seeing how the people died, how they suffered, until someone appeared. Someone who looked more threatening than Lucian. Someone who already had the drug market in his hand.

Somebody who would hurt the business.

The idea of DTA was born because of that, not because of what they lied to each other with Linda, but because William’s true plans were to profit even more, to control the drug market. But it failed. It failed because he is a bitch ass president who can’t even control his own party, his own Vice President.

Maybe yeah, James also made mistakes. Of course, he did. He was just thrown into this life out of nowhere. But it wasn’t his fault. It was the fault of them, which he took to his heart.

It was he who should have been dead. They aimed for him, but they took away the closest to him.

"Exactly. It was them." He spoke again, now turning toward the window and looking out. "So... let me chill the fuck out before I decide to cut off y’all’s heads one by one and parade with them like a fucking barbarian."

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