Reincarnated as a Fat Bastard in an Eroge Game-Chapter 37: Awake

"You’re awake." I heard the words the moment I regained consciousness. My eyes were bleary at first, but eventually they adjusted, and I realized who had spoken — it was the Professor.

’Stem...’ I thought, but nothing came in response.

Fuck. What did it even mean by deviate from intended purpose? What does that even mean? And why did that have to happen right when she was becoming more helpful...

Wait. Helpful. Now that I think about it, from the moment the system made itself known to me, it was anything but helpful — in fact, it seemed out to kill me. Could that be the original purpose of the system? To kill its user?

’No, that can’t be.’

Come to think of it, the first time it happened, it said I was the candidate of the goddess who brought me here. Then sometime later, I find out it is the goddess. I don’t get it — if I’m some candidate of the goddess, why would the goddess I’m representing try to kill me?

’Information.’ Yes, that’s the problem. Even at this moment I barely know what’s going on outside this world. I still don’t know why my memory was wiped, or if I really am Leo, or if I’m just someone else thrown into this world and being strung along by the plot, surviving on breadcrumbs of information... and she didn’t want to tell me either. I do remember asking why the goddess was the system, and she fell silent. But now that I think about it, maybe the reason she was doing everything she did was because she was constantly being watched.

Shit. I don’t know. I don’t fucking know anything. And from the looks of it, the system — the real system — is determined to keep me in the dark. It seems whoever created the damn thing wants me to die... but still wants me to live.

...Strange, in a way.

I was killed brutally so many times, yet every single time I woke up in that classroom, nothing carried over. I should have been traumatized, or something. I do remember the pain of those deaths being agonizing, but the moment I respawned — that was it. I only remembered it being agonizing, not actually carrying over the feeling.

’Am I even normal?’ That was a question I really had to ask. I don’t know what’s been done to me. I don’t have my original memories, so I can’t tell. Perhaps everything the system said from the start is a lie. Maybe there are no other candidates, and I was just told that. What if she lied about being a goddess? What if everything she said from the start is just a script she was made to feed me?

Fuck. I was so trusting. But then again, where else was I supposed to get answers? I’m practically trapped and out of options.

"Hey." I heard her voice and forced my attention back to Nadia. For once, since last night and this morning, she actually looked... normal.

"I’m sorry."

I ignored her. I wasn’t in the mood for this.

What I wanted right now was answers.

I was starting to feel afraid. If the system could be so easily removed, what was stopping the same from happening to me? For all I knew, the system just wanted to watch me continuously suffer, fighting to stay alive.

Could that be what this was?

Some sick experiment.

"Leo."

"...Yes?" I responded absentmindedly.

"Look at me," she said, and I tilted my eyes up to meet hers.

She was wearing something different now, quite different from the morning — a skimpy gown, something like a nightgown, extremely light and silky, clinging against her curvaceous body.

I noticed now that she had my head resting against her lap, and we were in the swim room — as I had dubbed it — on the far couch, to be precise.

"When does the semester begin?" I asked, and she frowned.

"Why?"

"...Curious," I responded.

It was mostly idle chatter on my part. My mind was elsewhere entirely.

I don’t know why, but the moment Stem went away, it felt like my eyes had opened. I suddenly realized how stupid I had been all this time — I hadn’t been asking the right questions at all. Like, what would really happen if I died in this world? Not that neither realm nonsense Stem fed me, which I now felt was complete BS. What would actually happen?

Like, is this world now real? Those respawn moments made it feel like I was stuck in a game. Maybe that was why I was able to take those repeated deaths so easily — I considered it a game, treated it like none of it was real. But since Stem appeared, I hadn’t encountered a single mission with more than one trial. Was it merely because the situation hadn’t demanded it? Or perhaps from the moment Stem appeared, I had transitioned from the game phase into reality?

"Leo... stay with me." I heard her voice, hands cradling my face. I looked at Nadia again. From her expression, she seemed genuinely disturbed by — wait.

Something wasn’t right. Why did it suddenly feel like I was viewing all of this from a third-person perspective?

I shook it off. I needed to clear my head first. Dwelling on these thoughts would just keep leading me in circles.

"Why were you acting the way you were?" I asked suddenly.

She sighed. "It’s..." She bit her lip, then exhaled. "It was just a childish tantrum. I honestly can’t explain what I was thinking — something just came over me. I can’t explain it. But I felt ashamed, embarrassed, disgraced... I just wanted to punish you for some reason. I didn’t think..." she said.

I sighed. I would have lost my life to some shitty tantrum.

"...It’s fine," I said. What else could I say? I was still in her care. Plus I was still alive, which meant she must have been watching — unlike what she’d promised — and had saved me. I could also feel an increase in my mana capacity, which was at least some small progress.

Right now, I just wanted to sleep.

"When does the semester begin?" I asked again.

"...Two months from now."

Well. With that, the main story was underway.

But I couldn’t help wondering — just what was I here for?