Rejected Beauty Practices the Villain Play-Chapter 949 - 924: Disheveled
"I’m sorry, I lost my composure!" Xie Jue said softly, having snapped out of the nightmare.
Fang Chuning let go of him, the cold sweat on Xie Jue was brushed away by the mountain wind, carrying a chilling sensation. Xie Jue felt as if he was standing on the edge of a cliff, one step forward would lead to an abyss.
"I heard that those trapped in nightmares are quite peculiar, always repeating the same dream. Is it hard for you to break free? Do you often have such nightmares about me getting burned to death in the fire, constantly waking up from them?" Fang Chuning asked, "You..."
How many times have you had such nightmares?
When he was recovering in Jiangnan, when his life and death were unknown, when everyone told him Fang Chuning was dead, how did Xie Jue manage? Did he keep repeating such nightmares?
Fang Chuning looked at his pale face, feeling a deep ache in his heart. He desperately wanted to comfort Xie Jue, but words felt too feeble. He was not the Fang Chuning in Xie Jue’s memory. Though he was the same person, he lacked the shared memories with Xie Jue. How could he comfort him?
If he hadn’t lost his memory, how would he have comforted Xie Jue?
As this thought flashed through his mind, Fang Chuning found it funny. If he hadn’t lost his memory, Xie Jue wouldn’t have had such nightmares. The troubles only began after going to Sannan.
"Anning, I’m okay, it’s just a dream. I can distinguish between dreams and reality. Just give it some time." Xie Jue didn’t want Fang Chuning to know he was trapped in nightmares.
That would be too pitiful, like a woman seeking her lord’s protection.
He didn’t want that!
He truly didn’t want Fang Chuning to see him weak and helpless, nor did he wish to burden him. He would overcome these nightmares; one day they would no longer haunt him.
"Xie Jue, you’re truly peculiar. Why do you always reject my concern? Is it because I’ve lost my memory, and I’m not the same person you remember, so I’m not worthy of caring for you?" Fang Chuning said, mildly annoyed but more resigned, "You’re obviously not okay, why pretend you are? You’re frightened by nightmares, unable to distinguish between dreams and reality upon waking. Is that what you call being okay?"
Xie Jue remained silent, the two were close enough for him to see the reflection in Fang Chuning’s eyes.
Truly pathetic.
Xie Jue looked at his reflection in disgust, asking himself when he became so fragile and vulnerable. Fang Chuning was alive, yet he continues to have such nightmares?
How long are you going to torment yourself?
"If I tell you, what can you do?" Xie Jue asked calmly, "Can you drive away my nightmares, or experience them for me? You say it so lightly that you’re here, but can that ease my torment from that time? Can it grant me a peaceful night? It’s my own inner demons that I must overcome; no one can help. Telling you only adds to the worry and makes me feel even more pathetic."
He is a person who often confines himself.
Once there’s a heartache, it’s hard to heal. Only the person who tied the knot can untie it; he knows his heartache is Fang Chuning but he’s powerless.
After the Marquis Mansion collapsed, he couldn’t save his father, mother, and elder brothers. He watched as the wedding turned into a funeral, traveling north with Xie Xun, having nightmares every night.
His dreams weren’t filled with the bloodshed at the mansion; instead, his father, mother, brothers, and sisters repeatedly asked him: Ting Feng, why are you so late?
Where did you go? Why were you a day late?
In his dream, he painfully replied that he went to treat his eyes; they hurt too much. While traveling, his old ailment relapsed; if not treated, he would go blind.
Father asked, are your eyes more important than our lives?
Xie Jue felt pierced through the heart!
He never understood why he had such nightmares, repeatedly being wounded by those words, bleeding profusely in his dreams. He knew clearly it wasn’t his fault, it was Yuwen Jing’s fault, it was the fault of the power struggle.
He was aware that even if he was a day late, his father, mother, brothers, and sisters wouldn’t blame him. His brother might even say, "Our Ting Feng’s eyes are so beautiful, of course, they’re the most important."
He knew no one blamed him for being a day late.
But even with such clarity about whose fault it was, he still sank into the pain, unable to extricate himself. He spent years overcoming the nightmares, gradually not dreaming of them anymore, yet he never truly moved past the sadness.
He didn’t know why this was.
More aggrieved than anyone else, Xie Jue didn’t want to be tortured repeatedly by nightmares.
But he had no idea how to save himself!
He loathed his own self like this!
Fang Chuning said, "Xie Tingfeng, from a young age, have you been silently bearing everything alone? Have you always been demanding perfection from yourself, torturing yourself when you fall short?"
