Sacred Flame: His Enemy, His Mate (BL)-Chapter 81: For the best

Kain Locke

The water ran hot.

Too hot, probably, but I didn’t move. I just stood there under the shower, letting it beat down on my shoulders, soaking into my skin like it could wash away everything I was feeling. My eyes stayed shut, forehead resting lightly against the wall. The steam curled around me, thick and silent.

I was exhausted.

Not the kind that sleep could fix. The kind that came from feeling too much. All at once.

Kael’s face kept replaying in my mind, those eyes, that anger. But more than that, they hurt.

God.

It wasn’t just rage in his expression. He looked... wounded.

Like I had betrayed him somehow, and he didn’t know how to deal with it except by lashing out.

That slap? That wasn’t about Alec.

Not really.

That whole moment wasn’t about who handed me chips, or who said what. It was about something deeper.

And I was the one who lit the match.

The water hit my back harder as I shifted, leaning into the tile.

I had the thought, back then, in that frozen second after Kael hit Alec—I could’ve gone after him. I could’ve grabbed him, pulled him aside, demanded he explain himself.

But when he looked at me like that.

How his voice cracked when he said, "I want you."

Even as he walked away, I wanted to follow,

But I didn’t.

Instead... I walked away.

I came here.

Because I couldn’t handle the look in his eyes, it wasn’t just anger. It was something deeper, something messier. And it was directed at me.

That was the part I couldn’t shake.

He was mad at me.

Hurt, because of me.

My fingers curled against the slick wall. The steam was starting to sting my eyes, or maybe that was something else. I wasn’t sure.

All I know is that I hated the way my chest aches just thinking about it.

Kael, of all people, looking at me like that. Like I’d let him down. Like I was slipping out of reach, and he didn’t know how to stop it without breaking something.

He looked... I don’t know, maybe scared in his own Kael way. Like the only thing worse than being ignored was being forgotten.

But I didn’t forget him.

I never did.

But he didn’t know that.

Maybe I never showed it enough. Maybe I didn’t say enough. Maybe all those moments I stayed silent... they piled up and became something too loud to ignore.

I’d never seen him that angry before.

Not like that.

Not because of me.

And I didn’t know how to feel about it.

So here I was.

Under scalding water, trying to figure out how the hell things spiraled this far.

And why the thought of him walking away hurt more than I wanted to admit.

I stepped out of the bathroom with steam still clinging to my skin after some time, a towel wrapped around my waist and another draped over my shoulder.

That’s when I noticed Sam.

I blinked, pausing for a second.

I hadn’t even heard him come in.

He was sitting on his bed, glancing up from something in his hand. "You came back?" he asked, like it genuinely surprised him. "Thought you weren’t coming back tonight."

I rubbed the back of my neck with the towel and let out a small breath. "Hmm... just checked the cafeteria. Was craving something to snack on."

That was a lie. Not fully though, because after I headed out to meet Kael outside last night, we went for some snacks in the cafeteria.

Sam didn’t look convinced. His brows twitched slightly, but he didn’t push. Maybe he could see I wasn’t in the mood.

And maybe I just didn’t care right now.

I tossed the towel aside, pulled on a pair of trousers, then shrugged into a plain shirt. My body moved automatically, like muscle memory was doing the work while my mind stayed miles away.

I climbed into bed, dragging the blanket up over me, even though I didn’t feel cold.

For a moment, I closed my eyes but I couldn’t find ease until I imagined Brian beside me—his small hand curled against my chest, his soft breathing, the way his hair tickled my arm. The thought made something inside me ache in a quiet, familiar way.

I missed him.

So damn much.

Eventually, sleep pulled me under.

****

Morning came

It felt like the world was sitting on my back, and it had no plans of moving. I groaned into my pillow, rolling over reluctantly before dragging myself out of bed.

I walked to the bathroom and brushed my teeth, splashed cold water on my face. It didn’t help. I still felt like a rusted machine running on last night’s emotions.

Even as I walked back into the room I want to do everything but go into the cafeteria and walk right now because I didn’t feel like eating.

But part of me—some pathetic, stubborn part—still hoped I might see him there. Even if I knew it was stupid. Kael didn’t exactly strike me as the kind of guy who’d show up for toast and eggs after a public meltdown. Even it had surprised me when he actually wanted dinner last night.

And talking about dinner, did he eventually eat something after he went in?

He should come to the cafeteria this morning right? That’s very unlikely.

Still...

If I did see him, would I even go up to him?

What would I say? "Hey... sorry for snapping last night?" Or "I’m sorry I made you feel that way?"

Ugh. No.

Maybe.

I didn’t know.

I was still stuck in that endless loop when Sam’s voice cut through my thoughts.

"Are you coming to breakfast?"

I blinked at him, seeing he was prepared to go out.

I nodded. "Yeah."

He bobbed his head up and down then he said, "Let’s walk."

Maybe I’d see him.

Maybe I wouldn’t.

But if I did... I had no idea what I’d do.

We walked out of the room to the hallway that was quiet. I walked beside Sam, hands stuffed into my pockets, not really knowing where to start.

Still, something kept poking at my chest so hard I couldn’t help but look at him, he was quietly walking by my side.

I cleared my throat as a start before saying, "Erm... If you liked someone," I began slowly, "but they didn’t seem like they... felt the same. What would you do?"

Sam tilted his head, not looking surprised, he thought for a while before saying, "If I like someone and they’re not reciprocating it, I don’t think I could stall along for much longer."

He shrugged, lips curving up like it wasn’t a big deal. "We are different though. People’s minds work differently, you know?" He stopped for a second before going on, "So I can’t really say much. But if I saw no improvement, and if it’s up to me, I’d probably pull back. Withdraw."

That last word hit like a punch to the chest.

Withdraw.

The thought of Kael walking away... giving up on me...

My steps slowed without meaning to.

Sam side-eyed me with a little smirk. "And who’s the person in question, hmm?" He gave me a look that screamed nosy,

playful trouble.

I cleared my throat. "No one. I was just asking."

"Sure." He snorted. "But just an advice though, if you..."

"How long have you been here?" I shifted the conversation quickly, knowing whatever is going to come out of his mouth will be no good.

He blinked at the sudden change, then rubbed his chin like he had to think about it. "Huh. Let’s see... as far back as five years ago, I guess?"

Five years...

The year I left the base.

He smiled a little, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. "You’re really lucky to come this time. Because back then, this place wasn’t what it is now. Nothing like it, actually. It was... rough. Bloody. No rules. No real ’cells’ like we have now. You messed up? You died. Simple."

My stomach turned a little.

"But now..." he exhaled. "They try to contain people at least. Even if it’s a small mercy. It’s a mercy regardless."

That doesn’t make any sense...

Didn’t Kael say—

"Why do you ask, though?" Sam suddenly looked at me curiously.

I forced a small smile, waving it off. "Nothing serious. Just curious."

We finally reached the cafeteria. The clatter of dishes and low murmur of voices filled the air. I stood in line next to Sam, the smell of warm food suddenly making my stomach churn instead of rumble.

Just as we were about to grab our trays, something suddenly flashed to me and I stepped back.

"Hey," I said looking up urgently at him, "I have to be somewhere. I’ll join you soon."

Sam raised an eyebrow but didn’t ask. "Alright. Don’t vanish for another five hours, though."

I gave a weak chuckle and turned away, heart already racing.

I didn’t even know where I was going. But my feet were already moving. All I know is I have to find someone because all of this... was too much to process.

I kept pacing, my mind spinning, looping back to the things Sam said. The pieces weren’t adding up. Or maybe they were—and that’s what made it worse.

Because it couldn’t be what I was thinking. It shouldn’t be. But deep down, a part of me already feared the answer.

There was one person I needed to talk to. One person who might tell me the truth without sugarcoating it.

I asked around, but as huge as the base is, only a few people actually talked back. Most didn’t want to point me toward him, but someone eventually mumbled a direction.

I walked up to the room and knocked.

A voice growled from inside, raw and hoarse, "Go away."

But I stepped closer and said, "It’s me, Kain. Can you open up for a moment, I have to see you for something urgently."

He didn’t respond

Then after a while, I heard a groan. Which was soon followed by heavy footsteps thumping toward the door, and a second later, it creaked open.

I blinked.

He stood there shirtless, wearing only a pair of loose shorts. His chest and neck were covered in deep red, angry hickeys, some still dark and fresh.

His hand shot out almost immediately and he grabbed me by the wrist, dragging me inside the room before I could even speak.

He shoved the door shut behind us with his foot. The room had two beds. One looked barely slept in. The other was a complete disaster—pillows on the floor, sheets twisted, clothes thrown around like someone had gone through a meltdown.

Only Audrey was here. That... was probably for the best.

He flopped down on the messy bed with a groan, tossing an arm over the lower part of his face. "Now spill it. Why the hell are you banging on my door like your tail’s on fire?"

Now I had a closer look, his eyes were red-rimmed and swollen like he’d cried himself raw. There were bruises at the corners of his lips, plus a dark ring wrapped around his neck like something, or someone—had choked him.

For a second, my throat tightened. The words got stuck.

But I pushed them out, one by one. "It’s... about the Omega. The quiet one."

Audrey peeled his arm off his face and looked at me with a deadpan expression. "Okay?"

"You were here five years ago, right? You once said something about her being quiet. I remember you mentioned her once... during that time we first met when I was framed for the pheromone attack."

"Your Omega friend? What about her?" he asked, voice laced with annoyance. "Don’t tell me you came to wake me up and disturb my rest for that. How do you even come to know my room?"

I scratched my neck awkwardly. "Not exactly..."

"Then spit it out."

"Five years ago..." I took a breath. "I just want to know if she was ever imprisoned? Like... in one of the lower cells? Cell X precisely."

Audrey’s brow furrowed. He sat up slowly, squinting at me like I was speaking in riddles.

"Bella Mao?" he repeated. "In prison? No. That never happened."

My heart skipped. "You’re sure?"

"I’m damn sure." He leaned forward, his expression sharper now. "She was never locked up. Not even once. In fact... she couldn’t even get detention. Too well-behaved. Too invisible, why do you even think I called her the quiet one? You’re barking up the wrong tree."

"Maybe you’re missing something... you mean no one was locked in cell X?"

"Geez! Do I have to repeat myself? Moreover, five years ago was so harsh that even the tiniest offense was punishable by death! So how could she got a detention?"