Secretary Gwanggong's Survival Diary-Chapter 72

“The CEO called me and I went in, but then he suddenly collapsed, so I gave him some medicine and left.”

That's it. This is the story I can tell without shaking and looking into his eyes. Since I'm telling the truth and not lying, my voice came out somewhat naturally.

“...Give me some medicine?”

One of Yoon Tae-oh's eyebrows is crooked. When he was given the tranquilizer, he certainly didn't look sane, and it seems like he doesn't even remember giving him the medicine.

... It went well. I was worried that I would have to tell a lie if you remembered even a little bit of what happened to us. I think I can lie with a little more ease.

“But that’s not all.”

"...yes...?"

Yoon Tae-oh changed his posture. He uncrossed his legs, placed his elbows on his knees, and sat down with his upper body closer to the table.

“Someone must have come in after that, here.”

The tension rose in an instant as the questions were asked alternately between me and Kang Seok-ho.

“...That can’t be true, sir.”

I guess he's a smart ~Nоvеl𝕚ght~ guy. Kang Seok-ho answered before I opened my mouth. It doesn't make sense for me, who wasn't here officially, to answer about what happened during his rut.

“Don’t we know best that the President doesn’t send just anyone on a rut?”

“Is there anything... that’s bothering you...?”

Lying is really hard. Especially when it's directly related to my life. As my anxiety grew, I asked questions as soon as Kang Seok-ho finished speaking. It was a priority to first find out what he knew.

“That’s... haa, I’m not sure either.”

With a deep sigh, Yoon Tae-oh stood up from his seat. Since he spoke with his back turned and looking out the window, I couldn’t read his expression. However, I could tell one thing from his voice alone. He also had no confidence in the suspicions I was having.

"which...?"

“I think someone was with me... but I don’t remember anything.”

I was relieved. I don’t know what scene he was talking about, but judging from the way he spoke in an uncertain tone that was unusual for Yoon Tae-oh, it seemed like there was no evidence to associate him with me. Only then did my wildly pounding heart calm down a little.

“Could it be that you took too many tranquilizers as a side effect of the cycle? Like hallucinations or dreams?”

“...It was a dream.”

I wonder. What kind of memories does he vaguely recall? What kind of scenes are engraved in my mind? Why am I curious about such useless things?

“That could be true. Well, there’s no way anyone could have come in here without the two of you knowing.”

On the one hand, I felt fortunate that he didn't dig too deep, but on the other hand, I felt a sense of regret... It was a truly contradictory feeling.

“Get some rest today, sir.”

Yoon Tae-oh didn't stop us from leaving the dorm after saying goodbye, wondering if there was anything else he needed to check.

“Are you okay...?”

“Me? Why me?”

After leaving the accommodation, Kang Seok-ho walked quite a distance with his mouth shut before asking a question.

“That... is not it. You should get some rest too. You must be tired.”

It seemed like he had a lot to say, but for some reason, Kang Seok-ho was holding back his words. Then he tapped my shoulder a couple of times and walked away with long strides. I thought it was Kang Seok-ho's own consideration. He didn't say anything about what I did.

I turned and headed toward the beach. I didn't feel like doing anything or talking to anyone right now.

"ha...."

I just wanted to get some fresh air, but it was too hard for me to walk on the soft, squishy white sand. In the end, I couldn't even take a few steps and had to sit down in the middle of the white sand.

Although I tried my best to act calm, my whole body hurt as if I had been hit.

It was a time when it couldn't be helped. Because I had accepted the dominant alpha who was seething with excitement that couldn't be controlled even with tranquilizers. The dominant alpha who was caught up in the storm of the cycle with me for the first time. Wasn't that a completely predictable result? It's fortunate that I can even act like this.

“Baek Si-eon.”

What was I looking at? I must have been sitting up, but my thoughts started to flow as if I was waking up from sleep because of the voice that was piercing into my ear. The sea that I had been seeing just a moment ago was now beginning to come into view, and I could hear the sound of waves crashing. Yoon Tae-oh’s voice was the signal.

“Oh, sir. How did you get here?”

Yoon Tae-oh was standing a step away from me, looking down at me, not knowing when I had approached him.

“That’s what I wanted to ask. Why are you sitting here like this?”

Maybe it was because the guy who had been playing around in my head appeared, or maybe it was because I met him in an unexpected place. I couldn't give a proper answer and just stared blankly at Yoon Tae-oh. I couldn't find a proper response even until he plopped down next to me.

“What aren’t you saying?”

“Huh? Suddenly?”

“What should I say when my clothes get dirty?”

Yeah. He's not the kind of guy who would sit with his butt on the floor like that.

“...I guess I’ll have to throw those clothes away....”

"of course."

If it were another time, I would have tried to stop him by making all sorts of excuses, but I don't feel like doing that now. He's rich, so why not just buy him new clothes? He didn't seem to have any special intentions, either, so he sat next to me for a while in silence, looking out at the sea.

For a moment, I felt strange. When did Yoon Tae-oh become so uncomfortable? He used to be a man who made me nervous just by being with him, but now even sitting here in silence with him doesn’t feel awkward. The distance of less than an arm’s length doesn’t feel uncomfortable.

“Did you go straight to Seoul that day?”

“...Of course. Who gave the order?”

That seems to be all Yoon Tae-oh remembers. The moment he told me to go home and wait for him.

“Shi-eon is lying now.”

"yes...?"

It was the time when the day was coming to an end. The sun, which had come down close to the horizon, was burning red as if it was trying to burn away all the remaining heat. Yoon Tae-oh was still looking at the sea. His eyes were also filled with red, so it was difficult to immediately understand the intention of the words he had spoken to me.

“Why don’t you tell me? I almost made a mistake.”

“Do you remember?”

His reddened gaze was now directed at me. Instead of answering, he reached out with one hand and pulled down the turtleneck T-shirt wrapped around my neck. I quickly shook off his touch, but it seemed he had already confirmed it. The dark red trace left on my pubic hair that night. I had intentionally worn clothes that covered my neck to hide it, but I failed to fulfill my intention.

“Vaguely.”

This time, I was the first to look away. I didn't want him to see any of the emotions in my mind that were difficult to sort out on my own.

The sun, which looked unusually large, touched the horizon.

“It was a mistake... I didn’t tell you because it wasn’t something you did on purpose.”

I kept my mouth shut for fear of making a mistake, and Yoon Tae-oh kept silent for some unknown reason. What he remembered must have been before I returned to the dorm. That was all... Is it worth stiffening your face like that? He turned his head away to avoid the burdensome gaze.

For a while, there was no conversation. Then, after a long time, Yoon Tae-oh opened his mouth and I couldn't help but look at him again.

“It must have been scary.”

To be exact, it was because of the large hand wrapping around the back of my head.

“You’re so scared.”

My eyes reddened for no reason at the entangled gaze. His attitude, which contained no trace of playfulness, comforted me for the past time. I hoped he wouldn’t know, but on the other hand, I wanted him to notice my efforts. Right now, he’s probably just saying that because of the two or three blood clots I left on my balls, but those words alone are enough to comfort me.

When I saw his face, which was even more rigid than usual, I couldn't help but shake my head slightly. At that time, I was so scared that I wanted to run away, but I thought it would be better to lie than to see Yoon Tae-oh's face like that.

“But, is it true that you really went to Seoul after that?”

This time, I couldn't avoid his gaze. Whether it was because of the hand wrapping around the back of my neck or because of the gaze pouring down on me, I couldn't give an immediate answer.

There was another reason for my momentary hesitation. It was because I had the urge to say, “Can’t I be honest now?” That was the atmosphere at the moment. I felt like I could tell the truth because of Yoon Tae-oh’s attitude.

“...Why are you saying that?”

Maybe... it could really be okay...? At least he was generous to me. Isn’t that the case even now? He’s so upset about the small congestion in his neck, not even noticing the countless marks I’ve left all over his body... so maybe it could be okay.

While waiting for Yoon Tae-oh to open his mouth, hope grew. Isn’t he also hoping that the image in the memory he is recalling right now will be me?

“...I wish it wasn’t Si-eon.”

but.

The moment his mouth opened, all hope turned to despair. At the same time, he quickly realized reality. If he confessed the truth while intoxicated by the atmosphere, what would he do about the aftermath? Not only was the fact that I hid in his bed against his will, but if I was unlucky, my secret of being an omega could also be revealed. If that happened... he might not look at me like that anymore.

Even now, I wish it wasn't me. I guess it was a good thing I didn't say anything.

“It wasn’t here.”

I got up, saying that I was cold and would go in first. With every step I took, my whole body seemed to hurt more. Maybe that's why my vision kept getting blurry.

Now I know. When I was with him on his rut, I confirmed the true nature of my feelings that I had not realized. It was an action that could not be explained by any other feelings. I was never a selfless person, but I made an exception for one person. I made a nice excuse that I was afraid of him and that I was trying to survive, but in reality, it wasn't like that.

The reason I entered his rut ​​place was not because I had a sense of duty that he, the protagonist of this world, should not die. It was just... an action that stemmed from my greed. It was an act of low emotion that I did not want to give him to anyone.

I have to admit the fact that I had to ignore: that I like Yoon Tae-oh.

The sun disappeared below the horizon.