Secretary Gwanggong's Survival Diary-Chapter 80

“Are you tired?”

Isn't that obvious? I don't know what kind of company dinner they have until the crack of dawn. It was a place to praise the hard work of the employees, but most of them, except for the alpha guys from the security team 3, couldn't endure the long company dinner and ran away. If it had gone to the second round, I might have joined the line.

“No? I’m not tired at all. But... why?”

But strangely, I didn't want to answer Yoon Tae-oh's question honestly. Asking if I was tired seemed like asking if I wouldn't do something else if I wasn't tired. I had just entered the dorm, and there was no one else here, so maybe... .

I don’t know if it’s because of my mood, but Yoon Tae-oh’s gaze toward me seemed to have become more profound. Yoon Tae-oh, taking each step, approached me as if in slow motion. If it were any other time, I would have tried to back away and increase the distance between us, especially seeing his expressionless face that showed no emotion.

As the gap narrows, my chest pounded loudly as usual. But now, perhaps because I knew there was another intention, I didn't feel fear. Rather... I felt a sense of anticipation, should I say?

“What are you thinking about?”

He came closer and bent his upper body to meet my gaze. Perhaps it was because of the remaining alcohol, but I felt an impulse. If I took just one step forward... No, if I just slightly leaned in, it seemed like our lips would touch.

“I feel like I’m being sexually harassed again with my eyes.”

I can't say no. Maybe it was because of the dim light that was automatically adjusted to the evening, or maybe it was because I had drunk a little too much. I vividly remembered a certain evening that I thought had already faded away.

A dark room, messy bedding, and hot air with mingled breath.

The lips that covered my mouth as if they were covering my mouth that was just groaning with tears. The impulse grew even stronger as I recalled a kiss that was roughly like a punishment, and yet soft like a soothing kiss. Although it was a day he couldn't even remember, I was seething with the desire to recreate that kiss that was so vividly engraved in my memory.

“If you look closely, he’s really fearless.”

Thump, thump, thump. I was able to snap out of my daydream by the light tapping of my cheek. Yoon Tae-oh's voice, which contained no trace of playfulness, also played a part. The Yoon Tae-oh of now is different from back then. It's something I shouldn't even think about.

How should I overcome this situation...? I slightly distanced myself and let the alcohol take over my entire brain.

“Yes, a tie!”

"what?"

“I was just trying to untie you.”

He reached out and untied the tie neatly tied around Yoon Tae-oh's neck.

“Haa, just let this be....”

Unfortunately, this excuse seemed to have been seen through by Yoon Tae-oh. However, he pretended not to notice and avoided eye contact, diligently loosening his tie and putting more distance between himself and him. He didn’t want to hear the words that hadn’t even come out of his mouth. Well... It wasn’t a misunderstanding that he was looking at Yoon Tae-oh with an impudent gaze.

“But why did you call me?”

“Let’s get some snacks.”

“Snack, huh?”

He jaw and passed by his head with his hands. It's fortunate that it's been a little longer, but why is it so bad? It looks like an action that I can do to the dog. .

“Isn’t it time to start getting hungry now?”

I didn't think about it until I heard him say that, but I can't say no. Strangely, after drinking, I felt hungry, and maybe because it was early in the morning, I felt empty inside.

“So what are you doing?”

Yoon Tae-oh, who had passed me by, went into the kitchen. He had thrown his jacket on the home bar and was searching around the kitchen, looking for something.

“Where did you hide it?”

“What?”

"ramen."

What the heck. Why do you assume there'd be ★ 𝐍𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 ★ ramen?

“If you eat ramen this evening, you’ll have an upset stomach tomorrow....”

"doesn't exist?"

“That’s not it....”

Since when did you start eating ramen like that? I couldn't starve you since you still wanted to eat it, so I went into your room and got some ramen.

“Isn’t it a bit lethal?”

“...Which part would be lethal?”

“It’s just me and Baek Si-eon here, why are you hiding the ramen in your carrier?”

To be exact, it would be more accurate to say that I never had a chance to take it out. I prepared it in case I got hungry or didn't eat properly in the evening, but I was eating better than I thought, so I didn't have to eat ramen alone. Furthermore, I'm not the kind of person who would hide a pack of ramen, so why did my image become like that?

“I was going to cook it for you if you found it. How could I make you cook the ramen yourself?”

“How many such sweet-sounding lies does Secretary Baek have in his head? Okay, bring out the side dishes.”

It's pretty good...? I guess now I've learned to distinguish between what I'm really saying and what I'm just saying. But he didn't look particularly upset. Yoon Tae-oh rolled up his shirt sleeves and placed a pot on the induction stove.

“But sir.”

“I know. I’ll boil three.”

“...That’s not what I was going to say.”

I think this kid thinks I'm a total carnivore now.

"then."

“Since when have you liked cooking?”

This is something I'm genuinely curious about. The fact that a guy who never got his hands on a drop of water is better at cooking than I thought, and doesn't hate it. And the dish is ramen.

“I like it, La....”

"...no?"

That can't be true. Yoon Tae-oh's personality is such that he wouldn't force me to do something I don't like. He must have made me do it.

He didn't answer for a long time. He just watched the water in the pot on the induction cooktop boil over.

“...Well. I don’t know when it started, but I like it.”

Then, when he looked at me and said something, my heart sank for no reason.

“It’s strange, isn’t it?”

Yeah... I also have a strange feeling that is hard to describe. I like it.

❖ ❖ ❖

Today, it is confirmed. Yoon Tae-oh does talk about ramen, but he doesn't like it that much. This time, he barely ate it, so I had to do it alone. But thanks to Yoon Tae-oh's skill in boiling the ramen, I was able to finish it all, despite the large amount. It was good that I brought a bowl of ramen.

“Stop resting.”

After cleaning up, Yoon Tae-oh got up first. Should I ask this... or not? There is a question that has been running through my head ever since we were hit by the snowflakes together earlier. It is a question that I will not be able to sleep tonight if I don’t find the answer.

“Excuse me, sir.”

Yes. Maybe I am... qualified to ask this question. Yoon Tae-oh, who was about to head to his room, turned around and stood there looking at me.

“I’m just asking this out of pure curiosity... I have absolutely no other intentions.”

“What are you talking about when even your voice isn’t pure?”

“Look at this damn bastard...”

“Why are you looking at me like that? What is it?”

“So... is there anything that comes to mind when you think of Rut?”

The question is, exactly, why do I think I entered the Rut location? With such an inaccurate memory that I can't even explain it myself.

"well...."

“.......”

Ah, is it really that nothing comes to mind? I don’t know what I was expecting. I felt a mixture of disappointment and relief at his answer. Yoon Tae-oh walked back to his room, as if he had nothing more to say.

“But you know.”

"yes?"

“It doesn’t matter even if it wasn’t Baek Si-eon who came in that day.”

Before I could even ask what he meant, Yoon Tae-oh disappeared into the room.

“Haa, I’m so full....”

Was it a mistake to eat ramen so late at night? I wanted to go to bed quickly because of the alcohol and fatigue, but after eating a late-night snack and washing up, I felt completely alert. The alcohol had disappeared without a trace, as if it had been washed away by the last ramen I ate, and I didn't feel tired anymore. Maybe that's why I couldn't sleep for a long time even though I was lying in bed, tossing and turning.

'I'm sorry. I scared you.'

Maybe because I couldn't sleep, one person came to mind in my clear mind. Maybe the order is reversed. Yoon Tae-oh said he didn't remember what happened during the rut, but somehow I felt like it was a lie. I can't forget that face and voice that said sorry to me without any confirmation. It was just an assumption, 'If I had gone in,' but even that sounded so sincere.

I thought that one word was enough. I was forced to confess that I had gone to my rut place that day, but I think I could just pass it off as a joke. It’s enough that the reason Yoon Tae-oh didn’t want me to go to my rut place that day was not because he didn’t like me.

I'm sorry, I was worried that I might have scared you.

“You crazy kid. What kind of apple is that scary....”

Did I really hope that Yoon Tae-oh didn't know what I did? Maybe not. Maybe I hoped that he would notice my difficult choice and embrace it. Otherwise, would those words be so comforting?

'i like you'

And another thing. It could have been a preference for ramen without any other meaning, but it didn't sound like that to me. I like it, I like it, I like it. Who would like ramen so heavily?

I feel a surge of hope that when I return to Seoul, I can bring up the story of Rutt again at the right time. I feel greedy and want to run to his room right now and confirm that it was me.

Next time, I should ask why Yoon Tae-oh hates omegas so much. Maybe it doesn’t matter to him whether I’m an omega or not...? And maybe Yoon Tae-oh also... . A voice keeps echoing in my ears.

i like you.

My body, which I thought would never fall asleep, was sucked into the warm snowfield as if it were being swallowed by the water.

And this dreamlike time, like a mere dream, collapsed in vain.