Secretary Gwanggong's Survival Diary-Chapter 92

“Lately, it seems like the CEO’s mood has been easily disturbed... don’t you think?”

“I can’t exactly deny that.”

That morning. Even Yoon Taeo—who was usually unable to distinguish people—could tell the driver was a stranger. It was clear he wasn’t Kang Seokho, who was excluded from work, nor anyone from Security Team 3. He was one of the eyes and ears of the Chief Secretary scattered all around. The story about what had happened in the car on the way to work had definitely reached the Chief Secretary.

“But leave it for now. If it needs sorting out, I’ll handle it myself.”

“Still...”

“Stop. I said, I’ll do it myself.”

The persistent words slightly broke his composure. Baek Sieon’s attempt to act completely worthless had failed. Before more suspicion arose, he had to steer the conversation away.

“...Still, the Chief Secretary’s point makes some sense.”

“Excuse me...?”

“It’s nothing. More importantly, you’ve been in the bathroom too long. Should we check? I’m worried.”

When Taeo’s attention turned to Choi Hyunjin, who had left the room, the Chief Secretary silently exited. If only a little longer could be endured, he could clear away all the annoying things at once—but that ‘little’ was extremely irritating. However, from the conversation with the Chief Secretary, an unintended good idea came to him.

If persuasion doesn’t work, another method can be used. His endlessly sinking mood seemed to lift a bit.

“I... can drink separately.”

“Is that a refusal, right now?”

“No, no...”

In the afternoon tea time, Baek Sieon was summoned. Two cups of coffee were brewed. Sitting opposite Baek Sieon at the office sofa table, he didn’t even touch the cup, clueless why he was called.

“How high is our secretary team’s turnover rate?”

“Turnover... rate...?”

“You know I mean the people who officially resigned. Not just people who look like they quit on the surface.”

There were actual resignation cases, but ‘unfortunate accidents’ often happened before or after resigning. Baek Sieon understood Taeo’s meaning and nervously bit his lower lip. His fingers scratching an imaginary hangnail on his thigh clearly proved how scared and sleepy he was.

“Does the Chief Secretary just let Secretary Baek leave like that?”

After making his point, Taeo took a sip of coffee. Seeing him now, with that awkward fake smile and stiff expression, was much better than before. It might not be good for Baek Sieon’s position, but it didn’t matter. Taeo wasn’t speaking sincerely anyway. He simply enjoyed Baek Sieon’s vivid reaction.

How could he let someone like this go? A guy who could turn ten hateful acts useless with just a facial expression.

“T-That’s! That should be... handled by the CEO...”

True to his nature, Baek Sieon got angry and his voice rose, then quickly dropped off, sinking into a half-pleading tone. What started as angry words ended like a soft plea.

“Me? I? Why?”

“.......”

He was so cute that Taeo almost said yes.

“So, weren’t you told to convince me? To bring a resignation reason I couldn’t possibly refute? Otherwise, Secretary Baek’s resignation letter won’t be accepted.”

He had no intention to threaten, but he judged it would work well on the timid Baek Sieon. He had gotten a hint from the Chief Secretary.

Baek Sieon’s mouth went dry, and he swallowed his coffee a little. Taeo waited, ready to give him as much time as needed. Suddenly, Baek Sieon got up from his seat. His expression changed noticeably from before.

“And what about you, CEO?”

“What?”

Yoon Taeo, sitting on the sofa and looking up at Baek Sieon, felt a strange sensation. The guy, who could never gain the upper hand in any situation, seemed to be looking down on him from a very high place. So far away that even stretching out a hand wouldn’t reach.

“...Can you explain a reasonable reason why I should stay?”

“.......”

“Of course, you don’t need to. I’ll find a reasonable reason and bring it to you.”

With those words, Baek Sieon left the office.

It felt like a hard blow to the back of the head. A reason for Baek Sieon to stay. Such a fundamental premise that he had never even thought about. The lingering impression of Baek Sieon’s words remained for a long time.

❖ ❖ ❖

That day was a biting winter day. A night so cold even a person used to being alone could feel loneliness. The rut that came faithfully every three months. There were no symptoms that could be called a premonition, but suspicious circumstances made him decide to stay quietly in the villa. He had to figure out the intent of the person who told the Beta prepared for the rut not to come. Most likely the Chief Secretary, but there was no evidence and the motive was hard to guess.

Thud.

From the moment someone stepped into the villa late at night, Yoon Taeo sensed their presence. The footsteps approaching the room through the living room had a clear destination. Taeo was sure nine times out of ten the intent was impure. Given that everyone except him knew the rut had come, anyone sneaking into the villa could never have pure intentions.

“Ugh, ugh...!”

He overpowered the figure entering the room, pinned him down, and covered his mouth. It was an arrest in flagrante delicto. But the person was completely unexpected. The eyes staring fiercely at him beneath Taeo’s hand showed raw agitation. Taeo was just as startled.

Baek Sieon, worried after losing contact with the Beta who fled, had come in. When he buried his face in Taeo’s neck, trembling yet accepting the action, Taeo’s small suspicion bloomed.

‘Despite how it looks, I still have no experience...!’

He wondered why the inexperienced guy had crawled into the Alpha’s rut location. If he pushed harder, he might get a confession, but somehow, it didn’t seem necessary. So he just settled on the story that this was ‘a younger brother worried about his hyung’. At least it was clear the other side hadn’t come with impure intent.

He was quite pleased that the person sneaking into the villa was the secretary guy. He had disobeyed the order not to come near but was worried enough about Yoon Taeo to even give up his ‘first experience’. Taeo often chuckled recalling that moment.

One by one, those things piled up.

The emotions conveyed through Baek Sieon’s gaze, voice, actions, and gestures slowly but steadily reached Taeo. Because of that, Taeo was now sure. He didn’t know the exact extent, but Baek Sieon had feelings for him. Hadn’t he once even said his face was exactly his type?

“Anything you want to say...?”

After work, they came home together. Baek Sieon said he had forgotten to bring some things. Before separating to their respective rooms, Taeo grabbed Baek Sieon’s arm.

“I’ll take care of it.”

“Take care of what...?”

“Choi Hyunjin. I’ll take care of him.”

That was the last answer Taeo could come up with. He had resolved all unsatisfactory work matters, but if Baek Sieon still wanted to quit, only feelings remained.

“CEO...”

Baek Sieon’s trembling eyes seemed to say that was the correct answer.

“Then that’s settled.”

Though it was a task endured as if dying, he could stop when a better opportunity came. One might think it too much for just a secretary, but this was no ordinary secretary.

Without rushing for an answer, Taeo pulled Baek Sieon closer. He seemed to understand the answer just from Baek Sieon’s unsettled eyes. Baek Sieon faltered at Taeo’s words. But the reply from his approaching lips was different from his expression.

“...No, please don’t.”

“What...?”

“Even if I do... CEO will still...”

“.......”

“...No. Anyway, I’ll find a reasonable reason for my resignation and tell you.”

Baek Sieon tried to shake Taeo’s hand off with weak strength. It was clear he wanted to end the conversation, but Taeo wasn’t letting go. He gripped Baek Sieon’s forearm tighter and stared at him, but Baek Sieon didn’t avoid his gaze.

Without a word, they stared at each other. Taeo demanded an explanation for the confusing words, but Baek Sieon refused. A quiet standoff lasted a while. If it went on, it seemed Taeo might break Baek Sieon’s arm, so he had to back off first. As soon as he released his arm, Baek Sieon turned around, as if he had been waiting for this.

“You asked earlier. Is there a reasonable reason for me to stay?”

Watching his retreating back, Taeo hurried to speak. The unfamiliar feeling of ‘urgency’ made him blurt out words he wasn’t prepared for. Fortunately, Baek Sieon stopped after a few steps.

“I’m needed.”

This time Taeo approached. He couldn’t understand the situation, but he was the one who felt regret.

“I need Secretary Baek... no, I need Baek Sieon.”

He hoped Baek Sieon understood. That this wasn’t words for the secretary as a tool, but for Baek Sieon as a person. Not as an accessory, but as someone necessary to the human Yoon Taeo.

Was he really that small? Even after coming so close, Baek Sieon didn’t turn away, so Taeo pulled him in. The urgency that had surged when he watched Baek Sieon walk away seemed to subside. Wrapping his arms around his shoulders, Taeo felt certain. He would never let go of these arms. The warmth radiating from their bodies, the scent drifting in, were reasons he couldn’t release.

By saying those unprepared words himself, Taeo realized the reasons Baek Sieon should stay were countless—but ultimately, all the same.

“...There was, a reason.”

Baek Sieon finally spoke after a long time. Even though they were close, his voice was peculiarly small. As if speaking from far away, just out of reach. Even though the content was surely the correct answer, his voice that crept into Taeo’s ear sounded like a wrong one.

“But, CEO... not anymore.”

Ah, it wasn’t wrong. The small voice cracked. Between the cracked sound, moisture quickly welled up. The wet voice made the hands wrapped around his shoulders helplessly loosen their weak resistance.

“I found my reason too.”

Exactly like his voice. Baek Sieon’s face twisted, now soaked with tears. He wiped his eyes hard with his palms, but the tears kept spreading over his face.

Taeo didn’t dare ask what that reason was. Was it really a reasonable one? Would it come out something he couldn’t argue against?

“...It’s hard, being next to you, CEO.”

Bad predictions always come true. What escaped was exactly what Taeo expected.

There were so many things to say. How ridiculous. How could such an emotional reason be reasonable? Explain that hard reason rationally. But in the end, he couldn’t say a single word.

“...Alright, then.”

Instead, he reached out and wiped the messy face.

“If Sieon wants that, then that’s what he should do.”

Seeing the tears that wouldn’t stop, Taeo stepped forward and pulled the small back closer. There was no warmth anywhere inside that embrace. No scent to smell.

How could he be so bad at lying? Saying words that must be lies, yet why was he the one getting hurt more? To stop those hated tears, he had no choice but to {N•o•v•e•l•i•g•h•t} give the answer Baek Sieon wanted. He had to pretend to be fooled by a lie he never believed.

He couldn’t understand what made him say things he didn’t mean, or what made Baek Sieon so miserable. But one thing was certain—the voice that said it was hard was sincere. The weight of Baek Sieon’s words broke Taeo’s heart, so he must have spoken with just that much weight. It would have been better if it were all lies. Taeo too wiped his back with small lies containing no sincerity.

It was night. A night where both told just enough lies to each other—nobody was okay.